My story on how my life sucks

[eddd12345]

please dont judge as this is very personal.

first of all I am 14 years old girl and this is my story on how i suffer from depression. I was bullied a lot and when i say a lot i mean 8 years a lot. i got bullied from preschool till year 7. i would get laugh at, made fun at, get called names, teased, critasised, rejected, cyber bullied, beaten, threatened and was treated like rubbish. people would call me names like fat, ugly, the grim reaper, pimple face ect. people would constantly laugh at me and reject me. nobody want to be my friend as i was "uncool". people would make fun of what i liked and what i did. they would laugh at me when i fell over and i was told a few times that i was a fake. i would get threaten that i was going to get beat up on the last day of school. (which didn't happen.) days i wouldn't want to go to school as i was afraid that i would be laughed at. in year 6 each day i would but punched in the stomatch at least 15 times as they thought it was a joke. i would get throw sand in my face and sticks in my hair. I even got made fun of on facebook. but the saddest part was i didn't even see what was going on till 3/4 of the way through year 7. then i saw what was going on and how bad it truly was. thats is when i started to get really depressed. finally it was the end of primary school and i could move on. I became best friends with this girl who bullied me pretty bad. a lot of people asked me how i could forgive her for what she did but i just simply say sometimes you need to forgive.

finally i got into high school which was great because i don't get bullied here. But that when the depression truly kicked in. each night i would go into my room and cry. i believe i do that because i had bottled up my feeling for so long i finally got to a breaking point. each night it would get worse and worse. i go in there and cry for about 2-4 hours a night. i would be painful to see myself in the mirror and see what am now like. it was if i had a whole personality change during the time between primary and high school. I feel like my life was no longer worth living and continuely have these suicidal thought and i sometimes make plans to kill myself. sometime i couldnt handle it so i tried. i feel as if no one love me and that i was ugly as i was told so many times that i was. finally i decide i need to take my feeling out on something so i decided to cut myself. this is constant thing. i decided to take a wide range of on lines tests all coming up saying i suffer from depression. i finally told my best friend what was going on. i also told a few of my closest friends who i could trust. it was not only depression i found out i had, i found i suffer from OCD. (well as far as self diagnosised goes). This only got worse. i can't sleep properly; I lose interested in everything and i always feel depressed; i can't think properly at school. it's taking over my life. i would get really bad if i was in a "OCDic" mood, i just wouldn't know how to control it. it was if it was my now. i feel alone and that no one truly knew how i feel. i want help more than anything but i cant search for help as my parents don't know what i do. So that is why i am here. to see if any of you guys can give me some help. i know my story isn't probably as bad as most out there but i feel its a lot to take in for a 14 year old girl and that this is my story. please tell me what i can do or leave some wisdom please. thank you for your time.

[St8arrow]

please dont judge as this is very personal.

first of all I am 14 years old girl and this is my story on how i suffer from depression. I was bullied a lot and when i say a lot i mean 8 years a lot. i got bullied from preschool till year 7. i would get laugh at, made fun at, get called names, teased, critasised, rejected, cyber bullied, beaten, threatened and was treated like rubbish. people would call me names like fat, ugly, the grim reaper, pimple face ect. people would constantly laugh at me and reject me. nobody want to be my friend as i was "uncool". people would make fun of what i liked and what i did. they would laugh at me when i fell over and i was told a few times that i was a fake. i would get threaten that i was going to get beat up on the last day of school.

From St8arrow

Well after all of that horror, if you didn't suffer from depression I would consider it to be some kind of miracle. As far as the pimply face goes, that can happen in one's teenage years and there isn't too much anyone can do about it. This is going to sound rather complicated but I think it will help you to calm down about this problem.

Before we, the human race, became as intelligent as we are now, many people would die in their 30's. In order to give a new baby some kind of support, it was necessary for the human race to have the capacity to reproduce at the early age of 13 or 14. Nowadays, it is more sensible to wait until one is in their early 20's.

Getting through those years from 13 to 20 something, can be pure hell on wheels. Try to calm down. Miraculously, that will help to lessen the onslaught of the pimply face syndrome. If there is some truth to the criticism that you are overweight, do your best to get involved in some physical activity. If it also involves some social interaction, so much the better.


From eddd12345

--- finally i got into high school which was great because i don't get bullied here. But that when the depression truly kicked in. each night i would go into my room and cry. i believe i do that because i had bottled up my feeling for so long i finally got to a breaking point. each night it would get worse and worse. i go in there and cry for about 2-4 hours a night. i would be painful to see myself in the mirror and see what am now like. it was if i had a whole personality change during the time between primary and high school. I feel like my life was no longer worth living and continuely have these suicidal thought and i sometimes make plans to kill myself. sometime i couldnt handle it so i tried. i feel as if no one love me and that i was ugly as i was told so many times that i was. finally i decide i need to take my feeling out on something so i decided to cut myself. this is constant thing.

St8arrow

As you get older, the desire to become sexually active requires you to become good at social interactions. Since everyone rejects you and ridicules you, you have not been successful socially and so it becomes almost inevitable that you will become depressed.

Come into this site and lets see if we can help you become more confident socially. Maybe spending some time in the Chat Rooms would reduce your feelings of loneliness. The pace is very fast in the Chat Rooms so if that doesn't do the trick for you, then continue posting in this forum site also. I think this is a better place to get some help from a variety of sources and also from peer understanding which is of the essence to begin your recovery.

From eddd12345

i want help more than anything but i cant search for help as my parents don't know what i do. So that is why i am here. to see if any of you guys can give me some help. i know my story isn't probably as bad as most out there but i feel its a lot to take in for a 14 year old girl and that this is my story. please tell me what i can do or leave some wisdom please. thank you for your time.

From St8arrow

You are not wasting anyone's time. Your problems are significant. When someone says literally that they are at the end of their rope, so to speak, it is never wasting anyone's time to ask for help. In my conceit, , I am hoping that some of the ideas that I have expressed above qualify as "the wisdom of years", of which I have had 74 already. Believe me, at your age, I was closer to what you are going through than being able to offer anyone else any kind of help.

I'd tell you to hang in there but that would be considered gallows humor so just pretend I didn't even say the above words. Pretend correctly, I might add, that instead I said: --- Keep your chin up young lady, you are much better than life seems to be telling you that you are. Let's hope that we can convince you that the above words are not just empty promises but that we can give you some pointers that will make it all come true. Welcome aboard young lady, welcome aboard!!!

[Destination]

A few years ago I found out from a make up artist that regular soap can actually CAUSE pimples. The soap clogs the pores and captures the dirt instead of getting rid of it. So now I use only face washing soap when it comes to washing my face. I only pay a couple of dollars for mine. Maybe you could try that?

Also diet could be a part of the pimple problem. My son had a lot of pimples until he stopped eating chocolate, then he cleared right up.

Stress is another major cause of pimples. I still get them from time to time if I get majorly stressed or eat too much chocolate or greasy foods.

Hope these tips help a bit.

[maloney00]

i think its important for you to tell your parents what's going on. if you don't feel comfortable telling them yet, talk to a school counselor or another adult you can really trust. by sharing how you feel, you can get the help you need to feel good again