My parents won't accept that I have depression

[Catmat63]

I am really depressed! I have been depressed for quite some time. I have taken problebly 10 differant depression tests and all have said I needed to get help as soon as possible. I have showed my mom some of the things I have done and written down and she said okay let me talk to your dad. She told my dad what was going on and he said I was just lonely! Here are some recaps I have attempted suicide once and almost attempted suicide 5 times. I have a binder filled with my journal and my depression confessions. I scratch myself until I bled because in my mind my logic is as long as I am hurting myself I won't hurt others. I am fourteen and I have been through allot and I don't know how to deal with it anymore, I am thinking about committing suicide but I don't know. I just want to know what to do about my mom and dad they won't accept that I have deprresssion. They say I am just lonely. They said "Don't you think we would have done something by now if we thought you had depression?" I just don't know what to do anymore I need help but my parents don't seem to understand.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hello catmat,

First welcome to the forums. There is also a chat room connected with this forum, perhaps give it a try, talk to others that deal with depression and all that comes with it.

Have you thought of talking to your minister or perhaps a teacher or trusted adult?

Warmsoul

[Catmat63]

I tried to talk to a school consolor but it didn't work they didn't do anything I told most of all the trusted adults but they didn't do anything but say its all in your mind if you think happy you won't get depressed anymore. They just said I am to young to get depression and that I am faking it.

[Acc]

Sometimes you just have to accept people's reactions, even though it sucks because its someone you are looking to for help. The goal is to help improve yourself, so focus on that, you can look for other ways to get the help you need. You know how you are feeling and you can do something to change that. If other people won't believe you or help you get to where you want to go then you have the power to get the help yourself. I'm sorry to hear that you are in that position, it truly is unfortunate, but you are obviously very aware of yourself and what you need, so I hope that you won't let other people's reactions stop you from getting to where you want to go. I have experienced my share of negative reactions, if it'll help make you feel better :P- I had a hard time getting people to believe how depressed I was because people did not understand that you didn't have to "look" depressed in order to be depressed, and because I was still functioning "normally" and I could still joke around they thought I was fine- even though I would tell certain people that I was falling apart inside. I was sick of people telling me I was strong- I did what I had to do to hold myself together and not lose it- but I was still depressed and that takes a toll. My counselor during one of our sessions started crying, out of the blue, and I was pretty shocked, I told her it was ok and she was a person too with feelings so she didn't have to feel sorry. She told me she felt comfortable with me and thought I was strong enough to handle that- this kinda pissed me off lol- obviously she was not aware of my position and she couldn't comprehend how shitty i was feeling despite the repeated number of times that I told her. Luckily for me, I wasn't having a bad day so it didn't affect me that much. And just an fyi, that was one of our last few sessions- the counseling, I felt, was not particularly beneficial to my improvement and that incident helped me see that. Another example- I told one of my good friends about my story and her reaction was "I don't think you are as depressed as another friend of ours". This was pretty sad for me I was so disappointed that she would say something like that without knowing the back story- this was the problem i was having with trying to get so many people to believe me and I was hoping it wouldn't be the same with her. I chose to accept these reactions because I believe people are entitled to their opinions, and I had to learn to be ok with the fact that people are not always going to react the way I want them to- that's just the deal with people- some my get it and some may not. Also my energy levels were low and between dealing with school and depression, it just was counterproductive to waste my limited energy trying so hard to get people to believe me. And for every person that doesn't get it you should know that there are people who might get it. Every time I told certain people after that, I still hoped that they would understand but it didn't always happen, but I didn't lose hope that someone else could understand, and there are some people that will understand. The one thing that remains constant is what you know about yourself and believe in. Hope this helps :)

[St8arrow]

I am really depressed! I have been depressed for quite some time. I have taken problebly 10 differant depression tests and all have said I needed to get help as soon as possible. I have showed my mom some of the things I have done and written down and she said okay let me talk to your dad. She told my dad what was going on and he said I was just lonely!

From St8arrow

At the age of 14, perhaps moreso than even later, being lonely is more than sufficient cause for becoming depressed.

From Catmac63

Here are some recaps I have attempted suicide once and almost attempted suicide 5 times. I have a binder filled with my journal and my depression confessions. I scratch myself until I bled because in my mind my logic is as long as I am hurting myself I won't hurt others.

From St8arrow

Not wanting to hurt others shows empathy on your part but of course the problems that make you want to scratch yourself until you bleed must be faced and overcome if at all possible. Assuming that your parents are aware of your suicide attempt and the other attempted suicides, it is unconscionable of them to pretend that you are not depressed.

From Catmac63

--- I am fourteen and I have been through allot and I don't know how to deal with it anymore, I am thinking about committing suicide but I don't know. I just want to know what to do about my mom and dad they won't accept that I have deprresssion. They say I am just lonely. They said "Don't you think we would have done something by now if we thought you had depression?" I just don't know what to do anymore I need help but my parents don't seem to understand.

I would suggest that you get help from a cognitive behavioral therapist. If you can arrange this, make sure you tell that person about the things that you --- "have been through in your life." If you cannot arrange for that kind of help, you could tell us about what you have been through and we will do our best to try to help you with those problems.

You are a child of the Universe, you have a right to be here. Don't give up on life. There are plenty of people who have been to the edge on this website and they, I beleive, would be more than willing to provide whatever help and understanding that they could give you.

Even sharing your problems with others and finding out that you are not alone in these dilemmas, can go along way to releaving some of the stress and fear that can easily build-up inside the human mind. Especially when the owner of that mind feels like he or she is all alone in this world.

[Destination]

I sort of had the same problem as you. My daughter was suffering from depression from the time she was 8 years old. By the time she was 10 she had a detailed plan to kill herself. I was lucky and found out in time. We worked together after a long talk and decided that some counseling would be a good way to start and that was where the trouble began.

Like you, nobody could believe that a child of 8 would suffer from depression. They still thought that at the age of 11 she was too "young" to be depressed. It was only after I continuously hounded medical professionals that I was able to get her some help. So believe me when I say I can understand your level of frustration here. It is maddening when nobody believes you.

Don't give up. Keep insisting that you want help. If your parents say you're "just lonely" you could perhaps counter by saying that might be the case but you'd still like to see a professional about it all the same. Be persistent and you will get the help you need.

I'm glad to hear you write in a journal. Keep at it. (( hugs)) and please let us all know how its going for you, don't be a stranger ok?

[Catmat63]

Thank you everyone really helped me believe that there is at least someone out there who belives me and cares.

[Destination]

I'm so glad you're still around if you ever feel the need to vent just drop me a line. Believe me, I know how awful it is to be ignored or not believed. And hey... keep us posted, I know I would love to hear if things are improving or not for you!

(( hugs if you want them ))

[Catmat63]

Ok I will.

I just talked my mom into making a doctors appointment and getting me a consulor so hopefully that's going to help some. I'm doing a bit better but I was really down today. Thankfully my step brother and step sister thought it was just because I was tired and didn't get enough sleep. I think I am just scared about having them find out about anything that has to do with my depression because if they found out they would treat me way differently. I'm just not sure how much longer I can pretend that everything is fine.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes I am writing this one my iPod.