As a teacher, what can i do to help a depressed student?

[not giving up]

Well, here we are, two days into the school year, and already the bullying and harassment has started. As much as I love my job, this part of it makes me physically ill. I have one student in particular who is in my class for the third year in a row (different classes - he hasn't repeated one yet). over the past two years I have watched him change from a happy, outgoing kid to a quiet, brooding, lonely boy. He has no friends at all. The "popular" kids pick on him unmercifully, and there is only so much we teachers can do to stop it. I've spoken to his parents in the past, and they pretty much wrote him off when he was caught with some kids that had marijuana. He wasn't even smoking it (although he may be doing so, I don't know, in this particular instance he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time). They said they aren't going to waste their time with him anymore. His grades have dropped steadily, and he seems to have just given up on everything. I don't know if this kid would fit the clinical definition of depressed, but he certainly shows all the signs and, to be honest, I'm worried about him. His parents think I'm overreacting and he's just a moody teenager. But I teach moody teenagers all day - and he's NOT the same. Is there anything that I can do for this kid that will make things easier for him? maybe motivate him to pick up the pieces and get himself into a better situation? I know there are some high school students on here - maybe they, or some parents, or someone who has dealt with this, can tell me what a teacher can do to help? He's a sweet kid, and I don't want to see him ruin his life because some spoiled little bullies won't leave him alone.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( not giving up ))))))))))))))))))))

First off, thank you for taking on the most important job of being a teacher. You mold lives in many ways.

Second, I wish I had answers, being there, giving support and seeking professional help is the only thing I know to say.

Bless you!!

Warmie

[hey-its-ok]

Hi "Not giving up",

its so nice to know that you care enough to talk to his parents, pay attention to him and even ask for advice on this forum.

I am not a professional in anyway, but you can say that i deal with human relations in the course of my job. I think that the most important thing this boy needs is someone to talk to, someone to guide him, someone to give him support, an ear to listen to his troubles, maybe he needs a friend. As a teacher, its not easy for you to take on this role. But all i can say is that during classes, if you can make an effort to let him feel that you care about him (its important that he feels it, if he doesn't know about it, its not useful), you must be very sensitive about his feelings and do not humiliate him accidentally, but maybe if you ask questions to the class, look at him sometimes and show that you want him to answer (but don't pressure him), show him that you take notice of his existance, just... make him feel special, that he is someone and not nobody. Outside of classes, if you see him on the corridor of the school, maybe say hi, ask how is he, make yourself approachable, tell him that he can come and see you anytime if he needs to talk to someone... subtly be his friend... you need to go to his level and make friends with him before he can open up to you, and then if he does open up, you will have an opportunit to guide and help him. If you are unable to get to that level with him, its not easy to help him...

I suppose the most important thing is be approachable to him, and let him know that you are approachable and understanding. Please keep in mind that when you deal with such a person, you may need to stretch your patience to the maximum... and you can't lose your temper or show distaste for his behaviour... you have to be soo careful...

hope this helps, all the best...

[JovianHalo13]

Hello,

Have you mentioned your concerns to a school counselor or school psychologist?

As stated before, try to let the boy know that you are available if he needs someone to confide in. Let me know that you see what's going on (bullying) that you understand, and would like to help him.

His parents reaction sounds so much like the way mine reacted to issues i had. Without the parents the most you can do is try to help him there at school. When i was in school and a teacher noticed i was having problems, they mentioned this to the guidance counselor. My parents were not there to help me through my problems, but the counselor, the school psychologist and a couple of very caring teachers did. Without them...well, i couldn't have done it one my own.

Do you have personal experiences that might relate to what this boy is going through?

[Annie Bankss]

Firstly, I appreaciate your concern towards your student. I think your students r really lucky to have a teacher like u who wud go out of her way to help them.
There might be many reasons for a teenageer to be depressed. His parents showing no interest adds up more. The most important thing is he needs someone to whom he can open up. Is there any close friend or a counsellor with whom u can work with if he's not comfortable in speaking to u. If not, you will have to try to build a connection with him. You can tell him that u have also gone thro the same phase and totally understand how he feels. You need to be very patient as initially he might not express himself. Only when he is confident that u can realte to his feelings he will open up.

Annie Bankss