Is this normal at all?

[randomperson]

When I look at myself in the mirror, mostly my eyes, I see nothing but sorrow and suffering. When I do something fun, all I feel is emptiness. When I'm alone, I break down crying for no reason. When I'm on vacation from school, I think of all the things that'll ruin it and constantly think about when I'm going to leave and when I come back I feel more depressed then ever. Also I remember I had this dream that I had black dots on my eyes and in the dream I would look at them in the mirror. Then I would see dots and small circles all around me and wake up. Just a side note, I have been seeing dots in my vision all my life. I'm 14 and have been feeling like this ever since 6th grade. I hate my life even though I have lots of friends, a loving family, a dog, and valuable possessions. I don't know what to do. Anytime I do something that would make me happy, I get depressed and break down later on. What is wrong with me?

[crystalgaze]

Just a question about the dots, your eye doctor knows about this?? (opthalmologist) If not, perhaps it is worth looking into??

I can't say what would be wrong....

Now, I will encourage you that if something you realize yourself to be doing is not helping you, then try a different path, if possible.

Regarding the part about being on vacation, be in that moment & don't think about school. I always hated going back to school.... It felt like drudgery, indeed.... If I didn't hate it, then I had anxiety at the beginning....

I don't know if keeping a journal might help you to manage your emotions. See if you can find a good, healthy distraction. Do you like anything?? Maybe you can stop for a moment & do that when you start feeling low!

[Bluepanda]

I would feel the exact same way when I was your age. (I'm 20 and I still feel like that sometimes)

The best thing I could suggest is to talk to your doctor about it, talking to someone really helps. Haha, I vent to my GP everytime I see him.

But the way I coped with my break downs was I talked to my friend about it, or I'd watch a LOT of cartoons. But, physical exercise outside also helped. Fresh air on a 30 minute walk really made me feel calm and clear my mind. A small accomplishment like walking around the block would make me feel better about myself. So maybe give that ago?

And I would do the same thing, look at the mirror and see into my eyes. I still do that. I learnt to not focus on the bad, but try and think of the good. A friend of mine would make me say at least 3 good things about me in the morning when I looked in the mirror and I would have to smile afterwards. At first I didn't believe them and would break down afterwards. But I kept doing it, and I can look in the mirror now and see a person, not a blob of unhappiness.

It sounds super silly and kinda retarded, but after a while, it made me feel good about looking in the mirror again. =)