not really sure

[astrantiapetals]

i'm not really sure to what extent this is a problem, but for the last several years I find that hitting myself after a really draining argument, or when the stress of my day hits me in full at night, to calm me down. I don't think it's healthy, but I'm pretty weak so I don't always leave bruises (although I generally try to). To be safe, I make sure to hit my thighs or upper arms so no one can see them. I don't cut or anything...i'm a bit scared of blood.

I only do it when I'm particularly stressed. i'm kind of hoping it won't be too bad when exams come around in a few weeks.

it's just how I deal with things.

[Domaska]

Helo

it seems that you have a lot of anger inside you that you turned towards yourself. Try to examine your feelings closer when you start feeling too tense and stressed. What your mind is thinking at that times? Are you blaming yourself for something. Try to find acceptance of what you feel or are going through right at that moment. Cumulated tension in your body wants to be released. What if you try to hit a pillow instead or take a few deep breaths...or maybe do some kind of quick exercise if possible. Less you do it less chance is that it would turn into habit. I would recomend taking yoga classes and trying aromatherapy body massage and in general trying to bring your mind, emotion and body into balance, as it is one unity.

Wish you a lot of patiance with yourself. Take care dear.

[astrantiapetals]

I'd like to take a step back and think about things right before I do it, but my mind just goes blank. and when I when I finally get into it, all I can think of is what made me angry or upset. when I stop usually depends on what happened. for normal things, i'll give my thighs a few hits and be calm but if it's something really bad, I might stop when I can't stand anymore. I don't want to hit my pillow because I...kind of have a germ phobia and don't want anything to touch my bed unless it's clean. I think i'll take the yoga into consideration...it depends on where it's offered around my area...

thank you for the advice.

[crystalgaze]

I hope you can find something to help you!

[Domaska]

It seems to me that is some kind of defense mechanism within you that is quite unconscious. There are some feelings that are not able to be dealt with...like anger or deep sadness. Probably when you hit yourself you distract yourself from them. If you find difficult to step back in that moment and you go ahead and perform your action how does it make you feel or think about what you have done afterwards? If you have negative thinking and feelings about yourself about what you have done can you try to accept the way your mind is dealing with your emotions of anger and sadness at that moment? This way, way of acceptance you do not create additional negativity about yourself, additional psychological pain. Then after the action can you go back to what triggered, the situation that made you angry and work on your anger afterwards....depending on situation, can you try to change your thinking about that situation? Or would forgivness help? Just do not let the feelings to be always supressed...do what you can do at that moment.

Wish you a lot of patience.

Take care sweatheart