My story/Reluctantly??

[RopesEnd]

The reason I have finally decided to post and reach out is because I am truly alone in my situation! The reason I am reluctant is because some of the stories I've read here are devastating and make my issues seem petty! Anyway here goes: I stated that I'm alone, but The irony is I have two kids, a husband, and extended family! I've been going through one medical problem after another on top of major injuries I received in a car accident! My family leans on me too much and my mother ridicules me! I have NO support! I have a very rare condition that causes cancer and I'm being monitored. My mother bothers me constantly with gossip and my husband ignores me when I return from a test or doctors appointment! I rarely get any sleep because I'm always being called on to do this that or the other for somebody! I nearly died a few yrs ago and these same people moped, cried, and acted so concerned! I think it was all an act or guilt! My friend told me she couldn't believe my mother was carrying on that way when everyone knows she was only acting out of guilt for the way she treats me. I'll give you an ex. Of what I might go through. Today I had tests and my husband never asked me about it! I mentioned it to him @ the end of the day and he looks @me and says, what's for supper? It's devastating! I have a very grim view of the world and the people in it! For the 1st time since my problems began I'm thinking thoughts that i never used too--pretty dark ones! This worries me because I've made it so far and through some very tough situations! I've always been strong and never lean on people! A little compassion at this late stage (or support) would be nice! Is that asking too much! What is this world coming too! If and when I end up in the hospital this time I am thinking of banning everyone from my room! Seriously! I've been very vague in trying to spare too many details but there are some really eyebrow raising events w/these people believe me! Hope I haven't bored you all too ha! Thanks anyway! Was nice to get this off of my chest! My friends only call me for favors! Guess that's why I am here??? I like old movies and if there was ever one I relate to, it's that movie w/ Betty Davis(can't think of the name) where she becomes rich and famous and supports her family and when she looses it all they still come around with their hands out! It's the proverbial blood out of a turnip scenario? Yes...that's how I feel!

[dd-va]

RopesEnd
*hugs to you* you are not alone here! We do not judge nor do we compare our stories, if it is enough to worry you or make you feel bad, then it is not petty, but a problem indeed. It truly is frustrating when those closest to us are not able to give us the support that we so desperately want and need. I belive it is difficult for those not dealing with these issues themselves to understand exactly how we feel and what we are going through inside ourselves. I have learned to accept that those in my life are not able to identify, therefore, I come here to seek others that are able to. I hope that you will find the same comfort here. Take Care and Keep Posting!

[RopesEnd]

Hi dd-va! I appreciate your words of wisdom and in the back of my mind I
Realize what your saying. It's just really difficult. A few yrs ago I was going through MRI's/ct scans for a mass in my abdomen! My mother pretended to call about an update on my situation and preceded to say; (in mid-stream)' now changing stories, your sister stubbed her toe and I really think it may be broken?' I really think she needs to have this checked out!' this is the sort of bullcrap I have to endure!! She does this all the time! Runs to everyone's aid but (when I have surgery etc) pretends to come help me and takes a mini vacation and my husband has to order out and take care of the kids while she sleeps her a$$ off! Sorry to vent but I'm so fed up! It makes me feel worthless!!
I'm wondering if anyone is going through something similar? I'd like to hear How they deal w/it? Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post! Your advice and wisdom is truly appreciated! **hugs accepted & returned. (=. **

[dd-va]

Feel free to vent at anytime, we are here to listen! Have you tried talking to your mother, letting her know how upset these statements she makes make you feel, how hurt and upset you are by them?

[RopesEnd]

Hey! Thanks again! (= I was going to mention that in my last post. A couple yrs ago I told her that someone told me you think my problems are a bunch of bull! I told her I have reports and tests here, would u like to see them? She responds " oh that is so not true! I would NEVER say something so awful! (I do not believe her) then she says well its just that you have so so many problems! In other words she is saying it gets boring! I told her well just be appreciative that you have optimal health! I'm the one enduring- so sorry I'm agitating everyone!(my husband says she is aggravated w/my situation because it ties me up and she likes to blast me w/gossip& may have said something to someone about my situation and ea.time I go thru something serious, it makes her look bad!--as you can tell, he has a problem w/her approach as well) When I re-read this, I almost can't believe I'm putting up with this? Thanks so much!! Your awesome! Can u tell me about your depression causes? How long have you dealt w/it and been a mbr. Here?

[dd-va]

I'm glad to hear that you have your husband's support in this. And I can completely understand how other's, especially someone you are so close to, can affect your feelings and emotions. You asked about my depression, this is one of the main problems I deal with. I have a best friend/business partner, that downs me every chance she gets, she finds fault in all I do. After years of putting up with it, I finally got to the point where I had had enough. I put my foot down and stood up for myself. Things have changed for us since then, were very strained at first, but we are getting back on track at the moment, and now that she realizes I'm not going to sit and take it, she doesn't give it out anymore. Perhaps, something similar might help with your mother situation.
I have been coming to this site for almost a year now, it has been a huge comfort for me to be able to talk with and identify with other people that truly understand my feelings and what I am going through.
Have you tried out our chat room here? It is another great source for support. Take Care, and you are awesome as well!

[balcony]

Hi RopesEnd, I am glad you found a place to share your feelings. Families are tough under any circumstances, but when you are the primary caregiver and emotional center for others, it is hard when you need that reciprocated. Behavior is such a patterned thing, and family members fall into specific roles and forget sometimes that roles must change to accomodate different realities. Keep talking, don't give up, and I am glad to hear you have found some support. Take care, hugs.