Help! is this the right thing to do???

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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orphanblu63
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:47 am

Help! is this the right thing to do???

Postby orphanblu63 » Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:44 am

This is going to seem super trivial but I need to know if anyone else has ever had to do this??

Here's what happened : I unfriended a long time friend in FB, we had been very close when we were younger but had grown apart in the past years then she came back into my life. I WANT to say nice things about her, but there is nothing nice that can be said, so I will just say ' the world and everything in it revolves around her' that's just the way it is. There is no you, there is just her - in a conversation she is the only one that can speak, if you say black she will say white. She disagrees just to disagree. But the very worst part of all this is she brings up things from the past and hurts me with them. Most of the time I feel like she is doing this on purpose. I never say anything back to her about this or anything, I just try to be polite and move past it. But now she has brought up some things that have set off a whole bunch of really bad feelings in me and I just can't take her being anywhere near my life anymore.

I'm to the point where I wish I had never known her :cry: and though that's very painful it's nowhere near the pain she is causing me now.

We don't live close to each other, so I don't see her. But she has my phone number, email and FB. So I felt like the situation could be managed and I had begun to carefully manage her in some ways - like only talking with her when my self esteem was good. But that was not working. So today I took the leap and blocked her on FB - I wasn't mad, I didn't want to do it with any anger in my heart - I wanted it to be a well thought out choice not an emotional reaction.

Within hours she sent several back to back texts to my phone saying how she feels a 'tiny bit' guilty about how I must feel so neglected because we are always talking about her wonderful life. Then she stated that she just knew as soon as we got together I would be so thrilled with what's going on in her life that my reaction would make all her all the more bouyant, so we needed to get together soon so I can tell her how wonderful her life is. She ended the texts by saying sorry if you feel neglected but as you can see I just have no time for you. I know you love me & wish me the best.

I did not text her back. I deleted the texts and I'm trying to just LET IT GO. But I'm upset :cry: mad :x confused :? apalled :shock: and :oops:
yes, embarrased.....and I have no clue WTH I would feel embarrased.

I'm done with her at this point. I'd like to block her phone number, block her email and just walk away. But I have NEVER done anything like that to anyone, no matter how they acted.

But this takes the cake.

Tell me, would I be wrong to just walk away?

I had thought about telling her how I feel, but I tried the somewhat a while ago. It didn't work, she just accused me of being jealous of all her other friends. So that isn't going to happen.

Walking away quietly, does the other person get the hint about why you left?

What should I do ??? I really really feel like I would be emotionally healthier without her in my life.

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:00 am

Sometimes a person will walk all over you and hurt you just because they can and not have any consequences. This is your relationship. You set the boundaries. If she doesn't respect you enough to live within those boundaries, then walk away. There is nobody that can ever tell you that you have to have this person in your life if you don't want to. This is your life. Take control of it. Set boundaries. Set consequences. You don't exist to boost her ego. And it's never ok for her to cause you pain.

orphanblu63
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:47 am

Postby orphanblu63 » Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:54 am

Obayan thank you for taking the time to answer. Your words are strength to me. The things you're saying are correct, sometimes it's just very hard to do what needs to be done. I know her backstory and it isn't pretty. But this morning I'm making the choice to walk away completely, 2012 is my year to shine and this is a first step in that direction.
I will miss her but only because she was a good friend when we were KIDS, I will miss that person, not the one she grew into.
Thank you for the support, and by the way Obayan, thank you for all the warmth and kindness you've shown to me in the chats - sometimes they move pretty quickly but you never fail to answer when I chime in. It's nice to be 'visible' . I read your story, you are an amazing woman. Never give up Obayan, you are definitely here on this earth for a very special reason. Keep going no matter what and keep your eyes , ears and heart open......you are a key piece in this crazy puzzle called Life. :D

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:46 am

To be honest, i think you had already made your choice when you wrote what you did. You just wanted someone to tell you it's ok. And believe me, it is ok. If not right now this very moment, then it will be. Sometimes we have to wait for the dust to settle to find the sun again, but it doesn't mean it's not there just waiting for us.

shakirah
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:31 am

Postby shakirah » Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:56 am

I think what you've stated you must do it. Just walk away and don't contact her anymore. If you don't want to block her change your number, deactivate your FB and make a new email add. Because she just giving you so much trouble in your life. And you don't deserve to be treated like that.

MOVE ON!!!! and GET AWAY from HER!


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