No turning back ,

[xken728]

Yes Warmie ,the weather is very simaler here warm one minute cold the next ,nice to hear about your squirrel freinds ,must be nice to have them so close by ,Fran has been ok ,her chest is quite troublesome just lately ,she has to have some xrays done,your warm thoughts for her are very kind thankyou ,i hope your tests go ok ,and may you be feeling well at the moment ,Ive not been feeling to good lately ,not really deppressed but ive been in a lot of arthritic pain ,but life goes on and it wont get any better if i moan about it ,Goodnight Warmie and all my Freinds here ,
take care warm wishes Ken and Fran

[xken728]

Fran has been a little up and down lately ,she has been very tired and has had bad pains in her legs at night time ,she had her chest xray yesterday ,this will show up any siqns of her lungs getting worse ,but they wont be back for about ten days ,you know no matter how bad Fran feels she always happy .
she just always tells me how happy she is ,how could anyone ask for more than i have, Thank god that even through the darkness i can see this wonderful thing called love ,,
best wishes Ken and Fran

[Obayan]

Sending out big hugs to you both Ken and Fran. I hope the news turns out to be good.

[xken728]

Hello ,hope everyone is ok , just thought id let you know that Fran has been ok ,shes had trouble with her vision ,but otherwise not to bad ,
Tonight is bonfire night here ,and as i speak i can see rockets and stuff out of the window ,We loved bonfire night when the kids were young ,but now i have to worry that the Sulpher that will hang in the air for the next few days will effect Frans breathing badly .You know! Frans always Happy all the time ,she just shines .
goodnight all , xn728 and Fran ,

[xken728]

Fortunatly the fallout from bonfire night has not been to bad ,and Fran has,nt had any real problems with her chest ,so im thankful for that ,
work for me is not good ,i still have trouble communicating in the shop ,the other staff ,treat me differantly ,it just happens all the time werever ive worked ,im just differant i really get tempted to make that badge and wear it ( IM MENTALLY ILL )

[Obayan]

I'm glad things went well for Fran.

I know what you mean about people treating you different. Soon as someone finds out about my past it's like they think the pain i carry is contageous or something. Don't talk, you might catch it! Don't show compassion, you might catch it! Don't touch or you will definately catch it! People start to talk slow and deliberate like they are talking to a child. I have ptsd. That doesn't make me suddenly stupid. I try to educate those around me, but sometimes i just wanna tell em to go get a life and leave mine alone.

[xken728]

You may or may not know that i suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder
also ,its a sad fact that unless a person had suffered from this then its beyond understanding what it does to a person .
For me caught in that moment in time more than 30 years ago never goes away ,it appears in nightmares distorted .But mostly just a perfect
video in my mind . The glow from beneath the room door and then the burst of hot air as i open it the heat from the flames forces me to turn away ,the smell and smoke fill my nostrels ,my Mothers screams and then ,fear of knowing a youth lost ,and many lives changed forever .
You know i dont punish myself anymore it took a long time to manage that ,in fact everyone else had forgiven me before i had .
But the visions and the nightmares never go away .
A week today i see my support worker for the first time ,so maybe it might help me .
Ah well ,i think ive said enough , thanks for your reply,
And as for your depression ,Dont let it have an easy ride.. Goodnight

[Obayan]

I also have PTSD.

huggggs going out to you and fran hon.

[xken728]

Fran has been really quite well ,these last few weeks ,the cold in the morning can trouble her a little but once the heater in the car gets warm
her chest soon clears .
Weve done a lot of christmas shopping and fran is really looking forward to the big day ,i wish i could have the happiness she so outwardly displays ,i do feel happy and i do try so hard to show it ,but fran just glows . Best wishes ,Ken and Fran

[xken728]

Well xmas came and went ,the build up is great ,but it soon loses the magic ,whens its time to go back to work ,weve decided to carry on with work for a while longer ,needs must ,like the old saying No pain no gain ,
Fran is happy as always ,it must be hard living with me and my deppresion,
I can be really hard going at times .she knows i love her and would never hurt myself ,But oh god i wish i could be free of this darkness ,ive carried it on my shoulders all my life and it has become so heavy .
Will i ever get to Rest !!
Best wishes for the new year Everyone .....Ken and Fran ........

[Obayan]

(((( ken and fran ))))

So glad to hear you had a good Christmas. I wish you all the best in this upcoming year.

[xken728]

Thankyou Obayan,
thats very kind ,We wish you a good new year Also ..........Ken and Fran

[xken728]

Hello Everyone ,hope your all well ,
Fran has quite a bad chest just these last couple of days. There have been 2 large warehouse fires ,both within 6 and ten miles of us ,she was coughing badly last night and her chest is tight and she finds it a little hard to breath ,the air stunk of burning wood today so we have kept all the doors and windows shut ,Fran is still very happy and takes it all in her stride . the weather here has been very mild but were to get some frost over the next couple of days .Ok bye for now Warm wishes ,
Ken and Fran ....... Goodnight

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((( Ken and Fran )))))))))))))))))

Get well Fran, take it easy.

Warmie

[xken728]

Thanks for your kind thoughts Warmie ,
Fran has had a very rough couple of days but shes doing ok now .
Ive had to pack my job in and things will be difficult for a few weeks ,but well come through it .Its our 33 rd wedding anniversary on the 24th of jan , so i,ll treat her to something nice .
OK Warmie i know things have been a little tough for you just lately ,
i hope you got everything sorted out now , Warm wishes Ken and Fran .
Goodnight ....