All Avenues Have Been Exhausted

[xken728]

I was looking forward to meeting my new support worker last wenesday ,
ive never had one before and i was sure it would give me a little hope .
But after being introduced ,i was quickly told that there was nothing else that could be done to help with my Depression and PTSD,as it says in the title ,All avenues have be explored .
So i would have to keep taking my various meds and keep having my blood etc monited ,But the doctor said maybe some new drug would be developed in the future so ,ive not to give up .
He told me that i would still be under the phychartrist ,but would not be invited to see him unless i became !!!! Well im sure we all know what that means .
Of course me being me didnt say anything much ,it didnt come as a shock
ive said here many times that i will be like this all my life ,
Funny thing is since last week ive felt pretty good ,strange isnt it you would have thought it would have made me worse .
You know ive spent a lot of my life not being able to enjoy the normal things in life ,like birthdays ,and xmas ,going out for a meal etc ,always feeling stressed in these situations and putting on that happy face for everyone else .
But you know i did enjoy all these occastions ,because i can think about them now i can see the faces of my family ,,and without doubt i was to each and everyone of them ,just what they wanted me to be ,a Father and a Husband and of course a Soulmate .
So just because i found these times of stress and sometimes fear i did enjoy them and can recall them all cleary anytime time i like .I love my family and my life and if i have to live it today and enjoy it in a few days time then so be it .
Next thursday is the 1st of december and im looking forward to putting up the decorations on that day .So like me if you look forward or look back
dont worry ,its going to happen ,or it may have happened already .
Best wishes XN728

[bedtime]

He told me that i would still be under the phychartrist ,but would not be invited to see him unless i became !!!! Well im sure we all know what that means .
Of course me being me didnt say anything much ,it didnt come as a shock
ive said here many times that i will be like this all my life ,

I've had doctors give up on me too.

* hugs *

[xken728]

I Have a wonderful family around me ,and their love is such a beacon of light ,no matter how much i feel lost in the darkness that is a big part of my life , I only have to look around and i can see the road clear ahead for me .
And even when depression makes me blind ,i can feel their warmth all around me !!!
I have all i need to survive .... xn728