they cant break me!

[Rebekka]

Hi all,
This is my first time asking for help so please bear with me if I am too full on or cross any boundaries.
Ok the beginning..... I met my husband when I was just 17 and we have had an incredibly rocky relationship from the beginning as he is a big drinker and used to get violent almost every day. we had our first child whenI was 20 and then number 2 less than 2 years later. There has always been the promise that he will stop and the violence has subsided but the alcohol and anger are still there. I asked him to move out two years ago and it seemed to be working fine until my mother decided to inform me that my husbend had tried to sleep with her a couple of years ago while I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I told her I did not believe her as my mum has a history of manic depression and has always been what I think is a trouble maker... Unfortunately things have become complacent and my husband is starting to drink around my children and I again and talking disgustingly around them and letting them watch inappropriate movies. During this process my parents have gotten a divorse and 4 years ago my dad told me he was gay and the last 25 years of his marriage to my mother was a big lie. I then woke on Monday to my house trashed because my husband an dhis drunk friends did not want to leave when I asked them to, I proceeded in cleanin up the house and found my husbands phone in peices, I have NEVER even considered reading his msgs but when I turned it on they came up as from me so i opened them and found raunchy and disgusting msgs from my dad. they deny anything happened but i do not know what to do or think... please help me i am sooooooo confused and I dont want to take it out on my babies. They cant break me
...

[crystalgaze]

Hi there!

What I will say is this: If you are tired of a situation, you have the power to control it/do something about it.

Your children & you are your 1st priority. I'm sure it must replay in your mind, but don't stress about your Dad & your Mom. Kudos to Dad for finally coming out, kudos to them both because they had you.

As for your husband, has he tried counseling/rehabilitation for the alcoholism + violence?