Need help helping a boyfriend

[sunflower784]

My boyfriend has been having trouble (like many) finding a job in this economy. It has left him depressed and unable to sleep or move from the couch. He lost his car, lost all his money, and moved in with me when he couldn't pay rent.

I just recently found out from his mom that he's been suffering depression recently and has stopped taking the meds he has supposed to, and quit seeing a therapist because he thought it was all . According to her, he's been having trouble over the past few years (he's now 27).

He doesn't know that I know this, but has slowly started opening up about his feelings. I feel like this is my opportunity to help...

Any suggestions on how I (the last person he has yet to turn his back on) can talk him into seeing a doctor? I'm afraid that if I push too hard, he'll disappear and he'll have no one left to turn to. But if I don't push, he may continue this downward spiral.

[jj]

hi sunflower,

all you can really do is be there to support him with what he's going thru. at the end of the day it has to be his decision, because he has to want to get better and believe that taking the meds and going to therapy will work. he has to want it.

i have a friend who is the same and wont seek help yet still talks always of everything being pointless and nothing is going to help, but that he wishes things were better... but he still rejects any ideas or suggestions of getting help.

id just keep going with the talking with him, listening to him, and being there for him, stick with that for a while, and maybe in the future he might be ready to accept the help again. just try to be a positive beacon of hope, if you can, and remind him that its okay to not be okay, and its okay to accept help. i always go by "what have you got to lose"... give it some time and if things havent gotten better then you know that it wont just go away on its own, so what else is there left to try other than professional help.

maybe he can get better on his own, some people can, but he will have to work hard at it. maybe suggest positive thinking, keeping busy, trying to be active, but again if it doesnt help after some time, then gently remind him that its worth trying professional help again.

also, maybe you could get him to come to the site, its helped alot of people. and theres a chat room too connected to here which is very supportive and might help him talking to people in a similar situation.

good luckk!

jj

[Obayan]

We can not "fix" someone else. Nor can we take responsibility for someone else's actions or inaction. But we can be a friend and that means being supportive of them. Be a shoulder for them to lean on. That's about all we can do. That and stress how important it is to seek out help from a professional. Mostly I just listen. That's what most people seem to need. Someone to just listen to them and accept them without judgement or condemnation. I hope this helps.

Great advice jj!