I was always one to want to bring everyone together and have conversations. I was the one jumping from lunch table to lunch table to talk to all my friends. I enjoyed being around people. I used to like spending time outside of my house, but now a days rather spend my time at home in front of the tv not talking to anyone. I don't pick up my friends calls calls, and def do not hang out anymore. If they bug me about seeing me i'll just send the a quick message on fb. I pretend everything is fine around them because answering their questions annoys me( lately everything does).
I don't know what to do.
My parents won't understand, I don't even understand. Isolation was just the beginning. I don't want to do anything anymore.
I just want to talk to others feeling like this. How are you getting through this? I don't want to be along, but I can't help it.
I try to socialize but I just don't want to...
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TackingIntoTheWind
- Posts: 1060
- Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
- Location: South Wales
Hi, (((( kalonise ))))! 
I have something of a problem with depression/isolation myself. When my depression was at it's worst I didn't feel up to going anywhere or interacting with anyone. But, in my case, isolation turned out to be not only a symptom of my depression, but also a trigger for my depression. So, I ended up in a vicious circle, the more depressed I felt the more isolated I became, and the more isolated I became the more depressed I felt. Until, eventually I went to my doctor, got diagnosed, and started getting the help I needed to start putting my life back together...
What I found helpful was to ease myself back into socialising gradually, rather than trying to do more socialising than I could cope with, all at once.
For example, I often go to a local cafe or coffee shop and have a meal and read a book. Or, I go to the local library, use their computers, ( Which is where I am now, as a matter of fact. ), or I go to see a film at a local cinema. These are good for me because, it's a way for me to get out of the house, be around people, but at the same time not attract attention or have to work too hard at being outgoing when I may not feel up to it.
And, then, when I felt more confident about being " out in the world again ", I gradually started re-connecting with friends and " hanging out " with them more.
In the meantime...What are your interests (((( kalonise ))))? As far as I'm concerned,...I'm a HUGE science-fiction fan and MASSIVE geek!!!!
And, I've always been a history buff. So, I used these basic, " bedrock " aspects of my personality to help me get out and about again. I'd go to a coffee shop and read a favourite SF book again, or I'd go to a library, log onto a computer and " smurf the information super-myway " looking for obscure historical trivia, or wander around charity shops looking for cut-price movie DVDs.
Whatever your interests may be, perhaps you could join a local group that are interested in the same things that you are? I'm a member of a local group of people who are all fans of Doctor Who, Star Trek etc, and we meet up every so often in a local pub, ( Neighbourhood bar, for our American " cousins ". ). They're people I've known for sometime, so I don't have to feel nervous around them, and we're all fellow-geeks talking about something that I know and am genuinely interested in, so I don't have to worry about " getting the answers wrong ".
The good news is that by deciding that you don't want to be alone, you've already taken an important first step to getting where you want to be. You CAN ease your way back into the outside word of socialising, ( I'm certainly neither the wisest or bravest of men!
So, if I can do it I'm SURE that you can! ). A very wise psychiatrist once told me that recovery from depression wasn't about making big, sudden leaps, but about taking small, gradual steps.
Take care of yourself, and I hope that you'll soon feel able to start " sidling " back into the " social scene ", as it were.
( The aforementioned psychiatrist was very keen on my " engaging with the world ". He didn't say if the world had any choice about this...So, I'm working on the basis that the world is just stuck with me wandering around being pitilessly gregarious! 
)
I have something of a problem with depression/isolation myself. When my depression was at it's worst I didn't feel up to going anywhere or interacting with anyone. But, in my case, isolation turned out to be not only a symptom of my depression, but also a trigger for my depression. So, I ended up in a vicious circle, the more depressed I felt the more isolated I became, and the more isolated I became the more depressed I felt. Until, eventually I went to my doctor, got diagnosed, and started getting the help I needed to start putting my life back together...
What I found helpful was to ease myself back into socialising gradually, rather than trying to do more socialising than I could cope with, all at once.
For example, I often go to a local cafe or coffee shop and have a meal and read a book. Or, I go to the local library, use their computers, ( Which is where I am now, as a matter of fact. ), or I go to see a film at a local cinema. These are good for me because, it's a way for me to get out of the house, be around people, but at the same time not attract attention or have to work too hard at being outgoing when I may not feel up to it.
And, then, when I felt more confident about being " out in the world again ", I gradually started re-connecting with friends and " hanging out " with them more.
In the meantime...What are your interests (((( kalonise ))))? As far as I'm concerned,...I'm a HUGE science-fiction fan and MASSIVE geek!!!!
And, I've always been a history buff. So, I used these basic, " bedrock " aspects of my personality to help me get out and about again. I'd go to a coffee shop and read a favourite SF book again, or I'd go to a library, log onto a computer and " smurf the information super-myway " looking for obscure historical trivia, or wander around charity shops looking for cut-price movie DVDs.
Whatever your interests may be, perhaps you could join a local group that are interested in the same things that you are? I'm a member of a local group of people who are all fans of Doctor Who, Star Trek etc, and we meet up every so often in a local pub, ( Neighbourhood bar, for our American " cousins ".
). They're people I've known for sometime, so I don't have to feel nervous around them, and we're all fellow-geeks talking about something that I know and am genuinely interested in, so I don't have to worry about " getting the answers wrong ".
The good news is that by deciding that you don't want to be alone, you've already taken an important first step to getting where you want to be. You CAN ease your way back into the outside word of socialising, ( I'm certainly neither the wisest or bravest of men!
So, if I can do it I'm SURE that you can! ). A very wise psychiatrist once told me that recovery from depression wasn't about making big, sudden leaps, but about taking small, gradual steps.
Take care of yourself, and I hope that you'll soon feel able to start " sidling " back into the " social scene ", as it were.
( The aforementioned psychiatrist was very keen on my " engaging with the world ". He didn't say if the world had any choice about this...So, I'm working on the basis that the world is just stuck with me wandering around being pitilessly gregarious!
)TackingIntoTheWind- I took your advice
TackingIntoTheWind I am really glad to find someone who understands how I feel. Of course I'm sorry you had to go through this feeling of not having control over your life, but you understand how its comforting to not be alone.
Today I went out to run a errands I have been letting pile up and it felt good to hear a joke from the guy who works at the post office and to have a strange old lady smile at me -.- . I met up with my mom and we kind of talked...argued some...but talked some. I got home and I had the energy to exercise ( something I used to do often and now have sort of given up). So today I had more good moments than I have had in a while. Right now I feel down and even though I still do not want to talk to anyone its nice to know that I gained some nrg 2day.
To the perfectionist inside of me I will repeat the words "Baby steps" in my head. and maybe I'll go so a doctor.
Thank you.
Also, Dr. Who is pretty darn Awesome.
Today I went out to run a errands I have been letting pile up and it felt good to hear a joke from the guy who works at the post office and to have a strange old lady smile at me -.- . I met up with my mom and we kind of talked...argued some...but talked some. I got home and I had the energy to exercise ( something I used to do often and now have sort of given up). So today I had more good moments than I have had in a while. Right now I feel down and even though I still do not want to talk to anyone its nice to know that I gained some nrg 2day.
To the perfectionist inside of me I will repeat the words "Baby steps" in my head. and maybe I'll go so a doctor.
Thank you.
Also, Dr. Who is pretty darn Awesome.
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TackingIntoTheWind
- Posts: 1060
- Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
- Location: South Wales
" Baby steps " is a very good way of putting it, (((( kalonise )))).
I have a tendency towards perfectionism myself, ( My Father was always something of a perfectionist, so at least " I come by it honest... ), so I have to keep telling myself to take it " slow but steady " too. For me it is very much a matter of having more good moments each day, and if I have bad moments, I work at reminding myself of the gradual, but real, progress that I'm making overall.
When I need to ignore my " inner perfectionist ", I often repeat a Buddhist
saying, that I once read, to myself:
Don't prolong the past,
Don't invite the future,
Don't be deceived by appearances,
Just dwell in present awareness.
I'm glad that you're having a good day. Take your time, you're on the right track. I'm very conscious of my own need to balance being in the world and not alone, with giving myself time to be by myself, so I'm not " swept away " by the " hurly-burly " of the outside world. I like to think that learning such a balance is like so many things, it just takes practice.
I have a tendency towards perfectionism myself, ( My Father was always something of a perfectionist, so at least " I come by it honest...
), so I have to keep telling myself to take it " slow but steady " too. For me it is very much a matter of having more good moments each day, and if I have bad moments, I work at reminding myself of the gradual, but real, progress that I'm making overall.
When I need to ignore my " inner perfectionist ", I often repeat a Buddhist
saying, that I once read, to myself:
Don't prolong the past,
Don't invite the future,
Don't be deceived by appearances,
Just dwell in present awareness.
I'm glad that you're having a good day. Take your time, you're on the right track. I'm very conscious of my own need to balance being in the world and not alone, with giving myself time to be by myself, so I'm not " swept away " by the " hurly-burly " of the outside world. I like to think that learning such a balance is like so many things, it just takes practice.
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