Tormented by the Darkness

[xken728]

For the last 6 mnths ive felt fine ,a real smile and lots of laughs ,but the last few days have been a hell worse than ive ever known before ,
the demon and its cohorts are tearing me apart ,they tear at my flesh with there talons ,and whilst i remain normal for my family ,inside my broken body i scream out with pain and fear ,Once again my emotions are taken from me and im living in that dark cold world we call depression ,the fingers that type these words are grey and dead ,i feel nothing but hopelessness and im sorry to say this but i wish i were dead ,
how terrible we must have these thoughts and feelings in our minds but as you will well know ,it is indeed a strange world we live in ,
if it can indeed be called living ,i sob gently behind hidden eyes and the heavy sighs i make must be muffeld so as not to cause concern ,the things i see in my mind are beyond horror ,as i fall to the ground and the very life runs away from me i cry out ,but no one hears ,they carry on about there buisness for this battle between good and evil is carried out in another land invisible to the naked eye ,I will smile at my wife as i go to my bed now ,and there i will quietly weep ,and the tears will burn my face as the darkness burns my soul ,and as i drift into sleep the demons will carry me away to the place were such untold horrors exist ,and often i fear i will never return ,goodbye my freinds i cannot hide the torment any longer , xken728 ken

[crystalgaze]

You may have said goodbye to us now.... It's not the end, though! I am glad you at least had a moment of what I hoped was real joy.....

& you can have many more! I don't think I can imagine exactly what you see. Now, I will ask: When was the last time you did something for yourself? Maybe it is time to do that thing that will just neutralize the demons?

Was it burning a candle in the garden like you did? Or listening to music? Perhaps, there is still something! Please don't give up! Depression/etc. may always stand in your way, but I believe--& maybe I'm wrong or just too optimistic--I really believe that there is a way to break through the obstacle. If it doesn't happen today, then there's an opportunity tomorrow or the next hour or in the next few minutes. There's always a chance....

Odd as it may sound, I've sort of made mine into a game. My life is a video game but just not on the fantastic levels as what comes out on the market.

Take care & I am with you!

[xken728]

Yours words are so kind Onika ,and i know you know how it feels to be like this to ,the difference these days is that i have managed to keep the bad thoughts on the inside ,and my normal happy self are now free ,but i have been under a lot of strain ,and i felt i must let my feelings out .
BUT i didnt realise that i had ended the message with Goodbye ,it was a Mistake and should have read Goodnight ,im so sorry to have caused concern ,and dont worry im ok ,,I do hope your well ,and i intend to be around for a good while after all i havent been back that long ,,SO my dear freind GOODNIGHT from Ken and Fran ,,warm wishes to all

[crystalgaze]

Not a problem! Glad to see you, as always!!

((((((((((( Ken, Fran & Family ))))))))))))))