I never feel like i can just talk...

[Marigiggles]

...so i want to just let it all out and if anyone wants to reply then thats cool and if not that ok too, at least i feel like im getting things off my chest.

Im a 26 yr old female, never married, with a two and half year old daughter. we live with her father and his parents, yet he and i are not seeing each other. to complicate the situation i have a boyfriend who i have been seeing for about 8 months.

I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I also suffer from anxiety, but really who doesnt?

As i said before i live with my ex and his family. THis is a new situation. Due to loss of job and running out of unemployment i was forced to move out of my apartment.

Ive been depressed for a very long time but now i am at an all time low. I never want to do the things that need to get done like cleaning and laundry and simply just showering, but i do a great job at work (which is a seasonal job i got about a month ago) and i take great care of my daughter. When im at work, im so happy and outgoing and friendly. I laugh and tell stories and its great. Once im home, im no longer happy. Im miserable here. Theres always fighting and yelling and problems.

My ex and i were best friends before we ever even dated. Since we broke up and i started dating someone else, he has been treating me terribly or just plain ignoring me. he says its because he wants me back and it hurts him to know someone else is in my life. He also says that its hard to maintain a friendship without feelings getting involved so he would just rather act like im not here. This is the part that really hurts me. I miss our friendship so much, but thats really all i miss. I tried breaking up with my bf and seeing how the ex and i got along and i did not feel any romantic feelings. In fact i missed my bf terribly and felt so much anxiety when my ex tried to be close to me.

Curently i dont know how to explain what i am feeling. Im so sad, i cry a lot, im miserable where i live because i like to have my own space, i miss the friendship with my ex and when im around my bf i tend to just get angry or irritated about stupid things and i argue with him. I feel like im driving him away. He says that i just need to stop arguing and taking the things he says the wrong way. I dont think its that simple. I cant stop eating and i dont know why. I have also been spending a lot of money on ebay because "it makes me feel better"

Im not sure where im going with all this but its good to have it off my chest. Need to work in the morning. Goodnight.

[crystalgaze]

Hello there! First off, hugs to you....

((((((((((( Marigiggles )))))))))))))))))))

Let's see.... Perhaps, the situation with living with your ex is stressing you out a lot....

Oh yeah... I'm 26 also. (That's pretty cool!) Nice to meet you! I don't have any kids yet.

I am also an ebayer.... but I really do get a lot of stuff I need on there. >.< Often times, I find that it's just not a good idea to get whatever it is on the island because it's usually not a good deal or just plain unfair.

(For example, I just got a new in package, prepaid phone off there .... because what was offered in the store was ridiculous. The online store offers like 10 different phones or so. The store here only has 1 or 2 & not even the newest available ones or the ones with the best features. Also, I found that the store here wasn't running any of the promotions that was going on online. It was not even close! Anyways, that's enough of that; I think you can tell I'm a 'bayer. )

Sorry you're going through all that you are. I am hoping it will improve.

Just a question: Have you considered trying to get help? Maybe there are programs in your area?

I'm probably about to go through what you are going through soon. I do not feel the same way I felt about the guy I'm currently dating. I've tried, but it will have to end soon (because I'm unhappy & unsatisfied, which is the worst).

About your ex.... Well.... I'm not sure you can have the friendship you once had.

Another thing I'm wondering.... Is your current boyfriend okay with you living with your ex?

Also, please try not to fight with your current b/f. Ask him to hold you instead. Um.... I hope I did not overstep my bounds with that one......

I'll stop there. You can do it, though! Ya?

[Marigiggles]

hi thank you so much for replying to my post. i know i posted this forever ago but so much has happened that i havent really had the urge to get on the computer. first of all, nice to meet you Crystal. Where exactly are u from? if you dont mind me asking. Ive gone nuts with the whole ebay thing but ive started selling items too so ive made a good amount of money as well.
a quick update... my ex also has some issues and is on medication and was told by his dr that he was no longer allowed to watch our child, unsupervised. So my butt put her in daycare and worked all the hours i could. just to pay for that and keep gas in the car and pay bills. Well one day i was on my way to work on a Saturday... yuck.... but it was an 8 hour shift of overtime so who was i to complain. It was the first snowfall of the year and i was driving on the expressway, lost control of the car, spun out and slammed into the brick wall. seriously now?? i was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, then had to pay all this money just to get my car back and it was totalled. Well this left me with no car, which left me with no way to get to work. Needless to say that was the end of that job. So now im home all the time, with no way to leave and its driving me nuts. I hate it even more here now. BUT on the plus side, things picked up with my bf and i totally love that man. He isnt upset that i live here, in the sense that hes jealous or anything, but he hates what i go through while living here. Its drama almost all the time. There is no absolute friendship with my ex at all. He doesnt help with anything having to do with our child. So what im hoping is that once i get my tax refund i will be able to get a car and then get a job and start saving up again to move outta here!
what ended up happening with the guy u were dating?

[crystalgaze]

Hi Mari! Nice to see you on here again! I'm from the US Virgin Islands.

Glad things picked up for you & your man! (That's good!)

My previous relationship ended, & I have a new man. So far so good, I think. My mood has been a little dark lately.

I admire your spirit & hope some of yours will rub off on me!!

Also, it's good to hear that you are okay from your accident. That is a relief!

Happy New Year & take care!