I feel Helpless ***Trigger***

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Crista5387
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:00 pm
Location: Vancouver

I feel Helpless ***Trigger***

Postby Crista5387 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:38 pm

I dont' know what to do, and I feel responsible. I have had this one friend for over 7 years now but in the last 2 he's really started relying on my for everything. I love him, and we are like family. He's dealt with a lot of horrible things and is working on his depression right now. But what that means for me is that he calls or texts me countless times a day, and takes out his anger on me(verbally). We talk about how its not ok, and he apologizes but it never seems to change anything. So yesterday I told him I couldnt do it anymore, I was tired of being disrespected and I would not stand for it anymore. It has been effecting my own mental health, adn I know I have to look out for myself or I will spiral down. It didn't come out of nowhere because I've told him before that I couldnt keep putting up with it. I ended with I love you, but I just cant do this. I'm sorry.

I get a call today that he tried to take his own life, and he's unconscious in the hospital. The only note left to me. What am I supposed to think of this? I feel like I'm responsible, but I couldnt handle it anymore. Now I dont' know what to do. He's still unconscious but almost stable.

:cry: I am so scared to do the wrong thing, but I know if I stay I'll be doin myself damage. I can't handle if he doesn't make it or tries again because I'm not there.

I know there's no right answer here, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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crystalgaze
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Postby crystalgaze » Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:08 pm

Crista..... ((((((((((((((((((( Crista )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am sure that you have done what you could. I'm also pretty sure that you didn't say anything to hurt him.

Even if you are there for him in the future, it cannot be the same. No one can be everything to someone. A friend once told me that & I think it's true. You did what you could. Please do not blame yourself.

Has he been getting help? Talking with mental health professionals? (prior to all of this) He needs to continue.

You take care of yourself!!

P.S. I'm not sure whether you should go see him. If you want to leave a card or note, if that's what you want to do, then fine, but I'm not sure you should see him. I don't know if the hospital would allow it anyway....

Please do take care of yourself!

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crystalgaze
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Postby crystalgaze » Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:25 am

Just wondering: Crista, how are you doing? How is the situation going?

As a note for the title of the post, sometimes I feel like that....

Crista5387
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:00 pm
Location: Vancouver

thank you Crystalgaze

Postby Crista5387 » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:30 pm

I'm doing ok, things have taken a more aggresive turn. He's suffering from heart troubles now. Put on a transplant list and it doesn't look good for him to make it long enough to get it. So I'm now worryin about that! We've changed a lot about our relationship, and made him more independent. But I am still involved and need to be for my own sanity. But thank you for taking interest in how I am doing.I'm doin the best I can.

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crystalgaze
Posts: 2511
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
Location: USA

Postby crystalgaze » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:56 pm

Hey there Crista! If you're doing the best you can, then it's good enough! I'm sorry to hear about the bad news.... Jeez! Perhaps that's part of why his mood was the way it was.

(My mood was bad & I was bouncing off the walls before I started taking heart medicine.... I've calmed down & am more stable since I got the medicine.)

Hugs to you both... ((((((((((((((( Crista ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


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