how i got here...

[beautifulgrrl]

When I was 16, i watched my grandma pretty much waste away and die. At the same time i began counseling because I wanted someone to talk to that wouldnt judge me. While this was going on, I was in a verbally abusive relationship. At 18, one of my best guy friends died from cancer. I moved away from home after graduation and tried my best to move on. But, I never fully got over it. So, these past 2 years have been a constant roller coaster for me. Add to it that I am now in my 3rd year of college and almost done with my degree in Nursing. I am also enggaged and we bought a house in his hometown. We have also had our share of relationship problems. Most days I feel like he doesnt understand me and that I just annoy him when I want to talk about something that bothers me. All I want is for him to understand me and listen to me when i am bothered by something. And the moajority of the time we are great with each other. But, I am beginning to resent him I thinkI guess I am just asking for a place where i can share my frustrations with others who wont form a biased opinion because they are my friend...I feel like somedays I am going crazy and I know I am dealing with unhealthy grief. HELP.

[beautifulgrrl]

the reason i am beginning to resent him, is because i feel like i had to change all my life plans around for his sake. I wanted to move closer to my hometown, instead we live in his hometown. I stopped talking to many of my high school friends because they were into drugs (i wasnt a part of it...but they were still good friends) and he didnt like them. i didnt want to buy a house right away, he did. so now, i feel like i am sort of trapped. i just have been through a lot and i feel overwhelmed and anxious all the time. I told my dr. how i was feeling and he diagnosed me as ADD, which the medicine actually did help me feel better but it was also expensive. also, i dont know if i want to be on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety forever. i want to feel normal again, but i dont know how to do it.

[Obayan]

Hi. Welcome to the forums. Have you told him how you are feeling hon? Sometimes we have to educate those around us as to what our needs are. We have to say flat out "this is what i need from you right now." And keep reminding them that what we needs is liable to change with our mood. Hope you get better.

[beautifulgrrl]

sadly, i feel like i have told him time and time again. he says he understands, but then it seems like he doesnt do anything to help me. he knows how i feel and sometimes he eggs it on instead of stopping what he is doing.

[Obayan]

doesn't sound very supportive.... maybe he can attend a few counseling sessions with you to get a better idea of what is going on