i need some advice

[carly450]

hi guys i need some advice but please dont judge me.

i live on the streets and for the past 3 months this guy has been coming out of his work place to talk to me, he dosnt ever want sex or anything like that he only ever just wants to talk. he is young and only a year older than me and i love it when he just wants to talk to me. latley i have really started to develop strong feelings for him and i think its posssible he feels the same.

i dont know what to do as i dont know of any guy who would go for a homeless girl. he just is really nice and not many people talk to us homeless crew.

help???

do i tell him or am i best not

[Obayan]

I would say give friendship a chance. If it developes into something more than great. But a good lasting relationship will be based on a strong friendship.

[shatteredhopes]

May I share a personal story with you that your predicament reminded me of? A few years ago I was volunteering for a political campaign, and had gone outside to (shamefully, i know its bad) smoke. A man was passing by and asked if I had an extra cigarette, so I offered him one and we talked while we smoked. I learned he was homeless after having lost his job when the town's big manufacturing plant closed. I offered him some suggestions on where to maybe get some help and as we finished the smokes, I gave him the rest of the pack for later and went back inside. Hours later I had opened a new pack and went out to smoke again and at that exact moment the man was walking by with a box of food he had gotten at some mission or church or something. He saw me and walked over and started to cry and said "Ma'am I love you." It broke my heart that this person was so alone in the world that our little conversation meant so much to him that he was professing love for me, reminded me that human contact is so essential for all of us, and dignity and respect are owed every human being. I still tear up when I think of that man.

It is possible this man has feelings for you. It is possible this is a genuinely kind man reaching out to a suffering human being in friendship and respect and brotherly love. It is also possible he has a hidden agenda. So if it were me, I would tell how meaningful it is to be treated with kindness and respect when you are suffering such hardship right now, how much of a bright light he brings into your day and how much you enjoy talking to him. That way, he can take it as romantic prospect, or friendship and be flattered and reinforce what you have together, and if he does have less than honorable motives but still has a conscious, maybe it would guilt him into not doing anything disrespectful. But that's me, and I'll readily admit I'm not brave and I'm afraid of taking risks for fear of disappointment and hurt. With risks sometimes come rewards too. So you have to decide if you express romantic interest, might it scare him off entirely? Do you know if he's single, married, has girlfriend, or what his status is? What if he's gay? These are things you need to find out as casually as possible over the course of conversations if you want to pursue something.

I think Obayan gives wise advice, even a friendship is a risk, and if you take that risk, at least you have that much, right?

Meanwhile, are you in the USA? Do you suffer depression? Maybe community mental health can help you apply for SSI and thereby get on the list for section 8 housing. I would love to see you find a place to live, it breaks my heart for people to be homeless. It almost happened to me, as I was planning to move across country to live with my ex, but he dumped me thankfully before that happened, as I would be homeless today stranded out there unable to afford to move to a cheaper area and without enough income to survive out there. Turns out, intentionally or not, he was just slumming it with disabled mentally ill me while he was getting over his ex girlfriend to avoid being alone. Found out the hard way, and boy does it hurt to be used. So you be careful, friend. Good luck with him, and I think Obayan is right, pursue a friendship but do let him know you truly value his friendship and kindness. The ball will be in his court from there.

BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Obayan]

((( carly )))
((( shattereed )))

((( ))) <--- hug