I'm new to this so please bear with me.
I'm Vanessa, I'm sixteen years old and I've had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember.
As I'm writing this I researched 'depression help' and found this site.
I need help as you probably already guessed.. I feel like my life is crashing all around me and I have no control over it. I've tried everything.. I've seen every doctor/counsellor/phycologist etc and have been put on anti-depressants and it's been like this for years. Nothing ever fully stops my thoughts. I've tried to overdose before and even slit my wrists. I just want it to end and I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't keep waking up in the morning and feeling the way I do. I'm so young, why is this happening to me? The only thing that's stopped me from going all the way is my strong belief on religion, that's all.. not even my family or friends. I just want someone to know how I feel, you know? Just for someone out there to tell me they feel like this and I'm not alone. I don't know how much longer I can take this..
help me.
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TackingIntoTheWind
- Posts: 1060
- Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
- Location: South Wales
Hi (((( Vanessa)))), welcome to the site!
I'd like to think of something wise and comforting to say, but I have a rueful suspicion that " wise sayings " aren't really my strong point. ( Sigh!
)
So, I'm going to follow Toby Ziegler's advice that you should always, if only because it's the easiest thing to remember, tell the truth. The truth is that I do know how you feel. I had something of a depression/anxiety " meltdown " in June last year. And, there are times when I still feel suicidal. In fact, I'm feeling particularly low at the moment, for various reasons.
But, you know what? A year later I'm still here. There have been times this year, and still are, times when I feel suicidal, but I'm glad that I've had this past year because this past year has given me good times too. And, God-willing I'll still have many more years, despite depression/anxiety/etc!!!!
Please just take things moment by moment, as I try to do, I have a well-founded hunch that you're stronger than you think you are!
I can't promise that you'll ever stop being depressed, I don't think that that's the way it works for any of us. ( Sigh! ) But, over this past year I've surprised myself with my resilience, and people have often surprised me with their kindness. I can't promise that your " bleak times " will stop, but hopefully you, like me, will also find " golden moments " as well. And the " golden moments " ARE worth sticking around for!!!!
( At least that's what I tell myself at 2:30 in the morning when I can't sleep! At 4* years old I still haven't got the hang of sleeping all through the night! 
)
If you haven't already done so, you might want to check out the " thoughts for the day " and " meditations for the depression forums " on Warmsoul's Corner. I've found them really helpful in " reframing " my negative thoughts and calming and " centring " myself and my thoughts and feelings.
Take care and may Saint David ( the patron saint of Wales! ), watch over you!
I'd like to think of something wise and comforting to say, but I have a rueful suspicion that " wise sayings " aren't really my strong point. ( Sigh!
)
So, I'm going to follow Toby Ziegler's advice that you should always, if only because it's the easiest thing to remember, tell the truth. The truth is that I do know how you feel. I had something of a depression/anxiety " meltdown " in June last year. And, there are times when I still feel suicidal. In fact, I'm feeling particularly low at the moment, for various reasons.
But, you know what? A year later I'm still here. There have been times this year, and still are, times when I feel suicidal, but I'm glad that I've had this past year because this past year has given me good times too. And, God-willing I'll still have many more years, despite depression/anxiety/etc!!!!
Please just take things moment by moment, as I try to do, I have a well-founded hunch that you're stronger than you think you are!
I can't promise that you'll ever stop being depressed, I don't think that that's the way it works for any of us. ( Sigh! ) But, over this past year I've surprised myself with my resilience, and people have often surprised me with their kindness. I can't promise that your " bleak times " will stop, but hopefully you, like me, will also find " golden moments " as well. And the " golden moments " ARE worth sticking around for!!!!
( At least that's what I tell myself at 2:30 in the morning when I can't sleep! At 4* years old I still haven't got the hang of sleeping all through the night! )
If you haven't already done so, you might want to check out the " thoughts for the day " and " meditations for the depression forums " on Warmsoul's Corner. I've found them really helpful in " reframing " my negative thoughts and calming and " centring " myself and my thoughts and feelings.
Take care and may Saint David ( the patron saint of Wales! ), watch over you!
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
- Posts: 29195
- Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
- Contact:
((((((((((((( losingbattle )))))))))))))))))))
Welcome to you, sending a warm hug your way.
This forum is the top in giving supporting, understanding and caring. Lots of wonderful people here, dealing with depression themselves. Fighting depression isn't an easy battle, but knowing there are people that do understand and that care is always a good thing.
I do hope you will continue coming here, posting and receive the friendship we give. One big family, nice to have... take care
Warmie
Welcome to you, sending a warm hug your way.
This forum is the top in giving supporting, understanding and caring. Lots of wonderful people here, dealing with depression themselves. Fighting depression isn't an easy battle, but knowing there are people that do understand and that care is always a good thing.
I do hope you will continue coming here, posting and receive the friendship we give. One big family, nice to have... take care
Warmie
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