I need to get out
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I need to get out
I keep getting this feeling that I need to get out and do something. I need more contact with people to lift my depression. I've thought about getting a job, joining a yoga class, or volenteering at a nursing home. But getting out scares me. I always seem to say the wrong things. I hate being judged by others. Will I be completely incompetent? I have a hard time justifying the gas money and babysitting money needed for a day out. There are a whole bunch of excuses, mostly I am afraid. Afraid to step out and take a chance, to risk being rejected, to deny my three year old a full time mommy, to not be there when my other kids want to talk or need help with homework. Does fear rule anyone else's desicions? I know I need to just the first step, but I fell paralyzed.
I feel exactly the same way; taking that first step is just so hard. It is great that you are thinking about stepping out. Depression keeps us so isolated and I really believe that if you can take that leap of faith and get out there, you will feel better. I need to do the same. You sound like a great mom, so concerned about your kids, but please don't forget about your needs as well. Your kids will be fine if you take a little time to do something to help yourself. Volunteering is a good way to get out there. I wish you the strength to do this.
I know exactly what you mean. If I were out more things would be a little better. However going out and having to worry about what could go wrong is hard but sometimes you just have to jump into it without thinking. It takes alot of energy but the more you do it the better it will get. At least thats how i imagine it since I also have to still take that first step. Best of luck to you.
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