Please share this with me ,,,and know im with you xx

[xn728]

mich ,,you have your hope ,this is something you must never let go of ,,
why should i be worthy of this gift ,,,thats why i am so suspicious and waiting for my new world to cave in ,,but you my dear freind ,,im willing you to just stay strong ,,and you will have your gift ,of that im sure ,,you know im here standing with you ,,,hugs (((((mich ))))) lots of love ken xxx
Hello Tiadore,such a nice thing to say ,,and so happy to know my story of good feelings has touched you ,,and as for you being a newbie ,,,as soon as you joined us here you became a freind ,,a dear freind ,, and i can tell by little message you left ,,a very kind and careing freind ,im glad you found this forum its full of very kind and compassionate people and i hope you find some warmth and comfort here ,,,thankyou ,,,and welcome hugs
(((((tiadore)))) love xn728 ken xxx

[xn728]

Fran was out for a while today ,i had the back door open ,it was quite sunny for a while ,,the back door leads into our little back garden ,,at the bottom of the garden are two large trees ,,i planted them when the kids were little ,,they are tall and strong now ,,just like my two girls ,,the trees are a haven for many birds ,,we even have a little family of mice in there somewere ,next to the trees is my little greenhouse many full of rubbish now ,,in the oposite corner is the bird feeder ,,were the sparrows and our resident robin feed daily ,,i sat on the doorstep ,i had turned the stereo on in the kitchen not loud but comfortable ,,a nice mix of rock and pop played ,i just sat and looked at the things i had built around me over all these years ,it all looks so differant now ,,clearer ,i can apreciate what ive done with my life ,,before it was just going thru the motions but now i can see were ive been ,,the garden ,,the fence i built the trees i have nurtured ,all these things Fran loves so much ,i can now see them to ,
The man that has been a prisoner for so long is out ,,am i on probation or am i free for ever ,will i be struck down again tommorrow ,,my two lovely girls are looking at me a little differantly of late ,,i know what it is there thinking whats happened to dad ,,i suspect they have talked quietly with fran ,,
wondering if im ok ,,probably think im drinking lol....im being very very
cautious ,if i were to get struck down after feeling this happy ,it would be a blow so great im not sure if it wouldent break me ,,but it wont will it ,
has this been a culminatoin of all your kind thought and prayers ,if it is then im in your dept forever ,as hard as i try i cant explain the sudden lifting
of something so dibilitating to my life ,to see and to touch after all these years is like learning to live again ,,but if this gift is to stay with me ,then i will live it as best i can ,i will see ,feel and breath it ,some of you have said it has given you hope ,,This is so good to hear ,you all gave me hope when i was down ,,you are special freinds indeed and i will pray for you all everyday without fail,,,,thankyou im honered to know each and everyone of you hugs are not enough for your kindess ,but im sure you know how much i love you all ,,,,,lots of love ken xxxxx

[crystalgaze]

oh my word! This is awesome! Sorry I am late posting! BUT OH MY GOSH, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Woo-hoo! ^_^

We need good things to happen!

[Mich]

You have been gone for awhile now and I wonder what's up. Hope you are well and just too busy to post.

[xn728]

Hello (((onika))),,,its ok onika ,you to have been not feeling so good ,im
glad you saw my post ,anyway and thankyou for your woo,,woo,,,s LOL
And Hello to you to (((mich))),,,im fine sorry to make you worry ,,and thankyou for your concern,,your right i have been very busy ,,im not ignoring the forum ,,but things are happening so fast ,and close together,its really very frightening ,,just now things are very hard for me to handle ,,not in a bad way ,,oh no ,,this is good ,,but its been the culmination of a lot of hard work by me ,,and were just getting to the end of it this week ,,im going to post about it when it is all setteld ,,im still feeling very good ,today ive started decorating the kicthen ,i reckon it will take about 3 days ,ive done lots in the garden ,,and then there the car ,,
other things to! that ill tell you about later ,,im trying to get as much work done in the house while i feel ok ,,ive played this game with deppression for to many years to believe ,im not going to relapse soon ,and when that happens boy will i hit the ground head on ,,so im going like crazy to get ahead while the going is good ,,,so please dont worry im doing fine ,lisa is so silent it is worrying ,,i know onika is having a little ups and downs ,,but she pops in now and then ,,and how about you mich ,,i looked at your post about being able to open up a little ,,im sure it would be good for you ,it does help to talk ,,but remember mich i do know how much that pain hurts ,,shatteredhopes is still in pain ,,and i think of you sister as i do all my dear freinds ,,your name doesnt have to be written here because i do care for you all ,,and im sure you all know this ,,so i say ta ta ,,for now ,i wont be far away ,,think of me painting for the next 3 days ,,and Frans happy little face ,,,you all take care ,,hugs (((((my dear freinds)))))
lots of love Ken xxxxx ps weve had good weather here in england a little chilly at times but pleasent in the sun sounds like im on holiday doesnt it ,,,,wish you were here ,,LOL,xx

[shatteredhopes]

Just popping in to send love and big big hugs (((((((((brother Ken)))))))

[darklight32]

Your right, nothing happy. Well, i don't have a visitor, i think. Or it's just watching me. Heard a giggle out of nowhere. I have these ideas but i do have my dark side. I feel bad because of it. Well, maybe i'll embrace it, now. Can't have two masters. one will despise another. DArk Light. Hello.

Fight the good fight.

[lisalou]

hiya ken,glad you are still feeling happy and productive,make sure you don't burn yourself out though being too busy

Love Lisa xxx

[xn728]

hey ((sister))),,,(((darklight)),,and (((lisa))),,,(((mich))),,,,thankyou ,yes im still doing ok ,,decorating at the moment ,,ive got real bad neckache ,cos im doing the ceiling ,,,fingers crossed im still ok ,,ive been doing lots while i feel like it ,,i could go down at anytime ,,so tally ho,,,,
im so pleased to hear from you all it lets me know your ok ,,and i can stop worrying for a while ,,,teas ready now so ill see you later ,,thanks again ,,take care and keep posting ,,ill be around dont worry ,,,hugs
(((((to you all))))),,,lots of love ken xxx

[Mich]

I can't wait to hear all about what you have been up to. What colour are you painting the kitchen?

[xn728]

hello mich ,,were painting the kitchen magnolia,,its starting to look very nice ,,but of course its escalated now ,oh we must have a new picture for that back wall ,,and we need a boarder for the edge around the ceiling ,
but you know ,my love Fran can have just what she likes ,to see her face light up is such a picture ,,its worth all the money in the world ,,we havent got all the money in the world of course ,,,but i still have my looks
you know ,so i could still be a rent boy LOL,,,,,,ive bought a little wllow tree today ,,i dont know were it will go in the garden yet so ive put it in a clay pot for now ,,,ok mich i hope your ok ,,ill look at your thread in a moment ,however you are remain strong mich im always with you in mind and spirit,,stay safe and keep posting it make me happy to see you around the forum ,,hugs (((((mich ))))),,,hugs (((((everyone )))))) lots of
love ken xxx

[Mich]

Yes, I sure know how those decorating projects can escalate. I am so glad it is bringing you both some pleasure. It feels really good to get a fresh coat of paint on the walls. We sure could use it around here. Have a good night.

[xn728]

hey mich thankyou ,,well i finished the painting just an hour ago ,,my head is banging like a big base drum ,,ive had some painkillers and im sat in bed as i type now ,,,job done ????,,,oh no ,we must change the cupboard doors now ,they dont match the new walls ,,so tommorrow begins another project ,,tee hee ,,i dont mind ,like you say its ready for doing ,so we may as well do a good job ,,,whats that you say ,,will i do yours ,,yes mich no problem ,,you,ll have to pay for the deisel though LOL
mmmm wonder how long it would take to drive to canada ,,LOL,,,thanks mich for your interest ,it does look nice and ill keep you updated ,,,im still feeling ok ,,how are you mich ,,any better ?,have you given the chat with your health proffetional any more thought ,,hope your not to upset about the tv programs still ,,ok mich ill see you later ,,hugs (((((mich ))))),,you stay strong ,lots of love ken xxx