Am i on my own ???

[little me]

Hello, This is my first time to post on here, I have had depression for years and this time round has been the worst! I have had a nervous breakdown and have been scared to leave the house on my own, always need to be with someone even to just walk down the road. It is really hard as people just don't understand it!!! Not sure if anyone out there has felt like me ???????? or is it just me ? Thank you for reading this.
Take care Little me

[lisalou]

Hi there little you! Welcome here. You are most certainly not alone,all of us here know the pain of depression and we are a very caring, supportive bunch. I'm glad you found this website.

I'm so sorry you have had a breakdown and i wish you lots of love and strength for your recovery and rebuilding yourself and your life. I know well how terrifying and difficult every little thing can be when you are suffering. Don't be ashamed to need support to get out and about, hopefully time and therapy will help lessen your anxieties.

Are you taking any medication or seeing a therapist?

Hope you get through your day ok

Love Lisa x

[little me]

Hello Lisa,

Thank you so much for your kind words you have sent to me, really is nice that someone understand in what i'm going through. Don't get me wrong i do have family and friends around me but it is hard for them to understand my thoughts and feelings.

I also have 2 boys which i have had to get friends and family to do the school run for me as i find it hard just even standing in the school playground!!!

I am on medication and i am not the waiting list to be seen.

Thank you again Lisa

Love little me x

[lisalou]

I know how lonely you can feel even with friends and family,I think unless people have experienced depression themselves they often really don't understand. People telling you to 'pull yourself together' or desperately trying to cheer you up usually just makes you feel worse!

A big well done to you for raising two children throughout your depression. It must be so hard. I work at a nursery 12 hours a week and I really struggle to keep my head together and look after and interact with the kids just for that brief amount of time. So i have a lot of respect for you!

Hope the rest of your weekend goes ok

Lisa x

[xn728]

HEY LITTLE ME we all know how you feel ,we all suffer the same pain ,but in differant ways ,i know what its like to have family around me but i cant let them see to much pain ,as you say they find it hard to understand ,this forum is a very warm place to be ,,you can write down how you feel here
and it will be understood ,im sure when you get to know it better you will make many new freinds ,and will give and recieve support ,there are so many kind and caring people here ,all brought together from all corners of the world ,there is much pain here ,but there is also hope ,this is a dark road we travel ,and if you stumble reach out and we will catch your fall ,,,welcome home hugs(((((little me))))) i hope you find what your Looking for ,,,lots of love xn728 ken x

[little me]

Hi( Lisalou) Lisa,

Thank you so much for your fast reply to me!!! You are so right people only understand if they have been through something like this themself, which i have not got anyone i know who has.

On Monday i'm going to try and take my boys to school, i have been feeling really bad as i have not taken them for weeks!!! Every day they ask me if i'm going to take them and they also keep asking me (Are you better now mummy)? bless them they are too young to understand.
8 years old and 4 years old.

Lisa you are doing so well working, good for you, I would love to hear more about you when you have some time.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Love Little me x

[little me]

Hello( xn728 ken) Ken,

Thank you to you for your kind reply it has really touched my heart with your warm thoughts you have sent my way.

I am so touched that i have had your and Lisa's understanding in the way that i feel. I keep hearing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,there will be light at the end of the tunnel??? So yes it's a very deep dark hole, but it is nice to know i can write down on here what i feel and not feel alone again.

I have so much more to say but don't want to go on too much, also not sure what i can and can't say on here, as this is new for me to chat on here ever before.

With love Little me x

[crystalgaze]

Hello there Little me! Welcome, welcome, welcome!

I am similar with the not being able to/ wanting to go out the house.... but every now & then.... I am able & I am glad for that....

We can do it! You just hang in there... Be strong & I hope you will look around the forum some more!

Take care! Lots of love & hugs!

[little me]

Hello,

Just wanted to let you know how i got on, i did take my boys to school but had to take my mother with me, you would think i was still a child myself needing someone to hold my hand! But i am 34 years old mum myself.

It was ok but i could not wait to get back into the car was very nervous and just wanted to scream

For the first time on the saturday my big boy was at a friends all day and my husband works weekends, So i tryed to walk round to my friends house with my 4 year old. This was really bad as i was walking i thought that someone was going to jump on me and i did not feel safe for us, so i had to run round was in a bit of a state was knocking on her door shouting please let me in !!!! My friend was shocked to see me the way i was and calmed me down.

Sorry if this sounds strange to you all but feel i need to get this off my chest

Thank you to those who has replyed to my post, it really means alot to me

Lots of love and a big hug to all of you who has time to read this xxxxx

[lisalou]

A huge well done to you for doing these two things that have taken such courage and challenged your anxiety

I am very proud of you!

[little me]

Thank you So much( Lisalou) Lisa, very sweet of you.

Hope you are doing ok ?

love and hugs xxx

[lisalou]

not so good i'm afraid, have been up pretty much all night and am extremely miserable, nauseous and weak. can't really do much of anything. it's a real low point

[Mich]

Hi littleme - welcome to the forum! As you can see, there are many kind and supporting people here. It has been a lifeline for me. It shows a lot of strength to take the steps you have taken re going out to the school and going round to a friend's house. That's really great. For years I was not able to allow my kids to have any friends over because it was just too overwhelming for me. I understand your anxiety and I hope you can keep challenging yourself. I'm glad to read that you have a good friend you can visit who is very supportive of your situation. Take care and hope today is a good one for you.

[little me]

Hello Lisalou,

Oh no i'm so sorry have only just seen your reply now!!!

I am really sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment, bless you i really do feel fo you. It is not nice when you feel this way, have you got friends and family around you that understand what your going through?

Love and a big hug love little me xxx

[little me]

Hello Mich,

Thank you so much for your reply, i'm trying to take these small steps and soon i hope i will be able to take my boys out on my own, i think i need to do some self talking to help give me a push and tell myself not to be scared ....... and i will be ok and bad things will not happen to me.

Sometimes i don't even know what i'm thinking to make me feel so bad, and i now know that i must stop myself if i can in not getting so worked up about everything.

I hope you are doing ok?

Thanks again big hug from little me x