part 3 The Manipulative Man

[mamasam]

This one is a "doozie", and yes the third part of my ex guy's personality, combine them all and it's like a bomb going off....
Do you know someone who is too good to be true? Psycopaths are often fun, witty, charming, and charismatic. Some are extremely intelligent and highly educated...They have no conscience and shallow emotional resources. here are the criteria :
Superficial charm
self centered or self important
need for stimulation/prone to boredom
deceptive behavior and LYING
manipulative/fraudulent
little remorse or guilt
shallow emotional response
callous with lack of empathy
predatory attitude
poor self-control
promiscuous sexual behavior
short term relationships
blaming others for their actions ( this is where joe's characteristics end)
Early behavioral problems
juvenile delinquency
breaking parole or probation
varied criminal activity
Psycopaths have much in common with narcissists, they are exciting risk takers.
Not all psycopaths are very capable of horrific crimes, they are less likely to be arrested, antisocial psycopaths(not joe) are the ones who are most likely to end up in prison. Narcissistic psycopaths love themselves too much and will ignore anyone who is not as unique as he is, however he is the least likely to bury the opposition in his backyard. In fact, if there were such a case i would be mildly suprised, butonly mildly.
Psycopaths and narcissists are identified primarily by personality characteristics. These types of men are not rare creatures..and the thought makes the auther shudder to think of it, because this man would be a womans worst nightmare (in her words)! They are men / or women who move thru life with supreme self confidence-but without conscience. He will choose you, disarm youwith his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit. he will smile and decieve yo, and he will scare you with his eyes. if eyes are the windows to the soul, look into their eyes and you will see disquieting darkness where the soul should reside.
Glib and superficial - they can be intelligent, beguiling,conversationalists( or speakers), and there is real passion in what they say. If you scratch the surface, however ,you will find nothing beneath it.
Lack of empathy: Because their emothions are shallow, Psycopaths cannot understand emotions in others. If you hopeto reach him by sharing your pain, forget it. he won't understand a word you are saying. You may notice when he does express sympathy , sorrow or grief ( for someone else) his body language will not match his words.
Egocentric, narcissistic and grandiose: He sees himself as the center of the universe. He has impressive ideas and plans, which are unlikely to reach fruition.
Deceitful and manipulative: With this man, what you see is never what you get. Psycopaths talk the talk. they do not walk the walk. He will instinctively understand your weaknesses and use them to reach his self-serving, idiosyncratic goals.
Lack of responsibility: His bills will not be paid on time, and he will not keep promises unless they are in his best interest or he is playing a part. He is NOT a boyscout!
(joe does not have this last one)
criminal or unethical behavior: he may very well have a rap sheet. you need to learn about his history. Knowledge is power. As always, when you attempt to analyze a psycopah, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
Also : Psycopaths speak more quietly that non-psycopaths and tend to not differentiate between neutral and affective words.
A psycopath is someone who leaves a path of destruction and pain without a single pang of conscience.
This author suggested getting out of this type of relationship....at all costs. interesting.........

There is so much in this book, it is amazing. It has helped me to understand things a little better. Yes anyone can say "why does anything have to be wrong with him?...oh she is just mad because he chose another woman"...well your darn right i am, but i wanna know why he did what he did and his past does mimic the here and now... he has a pattern that just recently found out about. It helps to make sense of something so hurtful ..it helps with adding closure, because with forgiveness, you can end the vicious cycle. I honestly want to stop hurting and never ever have a second thought of him in my head! Sorry. I do accept responsibility for my part in all of this... i was a dependent person... I was the appeaser... As Winston Churchill said, " An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile---hoping it will eat him last".

[crystalgaze]

Milady.... You & I should both be in bed!

Good for you in trying to promote healing....

Although this is mainly for men, women can be like this too, I'm sure....

The other woman is manipulative also.... Maybe he gets a high off of that.... I don't know....