Part two The Manipulative Man

[mamasam]

ok...next is the alter ego of my ex... The Narcissist, there are 3 different types of Narcissists.. my ex fits in the category of "the successful Narcissist.
The characteristics are as follows( yes joe has them all)
Grandiose sense of self importance,
Preoccupation with fantasies of beauty, brilliance,ideal love, power or limitless success.
Belief that personal uniqueties renders them fit only for association with (or understanding by0 people or institutions of refined status.
Need for excessive admiration
sense of entitlement
exploitation of others to achieve goals ( he does it so well u don't even realize it)
Lack of empathy( does not recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)
frequent envy of others or belief that others envy them (for joe it was the latter)
arrogance or haughtiness in attitude or behavior
reluctance to accept blame or criticism
absence of altruism, though gestures may be made for appearance
shallowness.
Identifying a narcissist is not difficult once you become aware of the personality traits.
The Successful Narcissist : Narcissists succeed because they have an overpowering drive to impress others. They will move heaven and earth, if necessary, to be loved, admired and affirmed.
A successful Narcissist can put on a pleasant social face to attract new admirers; this is called the "false self". Maintaining the fiction of the false self requires acting ability that would be the envy of most Academy Award-winning actors. Narcissists learn to mimic genuine emotions, such as compassion, caring, and love. Another useful tool in preserving the false self is illusion, the ability to alter the truth while maintaining a shallow facade of reliability and authenticity. They may even believe some of their falsehoods. narcissists are frequently pathological liars. Once an admirer is drained dry and can (or will) no longer provide the admiration the narcissist desires, she is cast aside.The staggering shock is to see the real narcissist once the mask is removed ( this is what i am seeing now). Narcissists are seemingly without a conscience. The narcissist does not victimize, plunder, terrorize and abuse others in a cold, calculating manner. He does so offhandedly, as a manifestation of his genuine character. Narcissists live in a fantasy world, and they are very persuasive. By definition, they must be able to persuade others to adopt their skewed perception of reality. BEWARE... ( this is where crazy gf comes in) Narcissists are enamored with change and chaos if these conditions help them retain their position on center stage. Changing partners with chilling regularity is not unusual.
So how was that for a lesson in my ex boyfriend??? the man i loved so deeply, and still do, but will never be able to go back to him...he will come running soon i know it, he always does... i have to gain enough strength to say NO this time... if you put the two personalities together, now do you see what i am dealing with??? just wait till you add this next one... it's just sooo much to take in..... i am amazed at how well i am doing...you feel like he is the man of your dreams only to find out he is off his rocker...and he took you with him!

[crystalgaze]

I am very glad you are taking the time to analyze the situation....


You are doing the right thing! Trying to plan ahead for what may happen....

All you have to do is smile & please ask him to leave you alone & to go away forever. You don't even have to open the door, if you don't want to; in fact, I think I would recommend it that way....

If he stays, you can always call the police.... (& that will be your sweet revenge....) Anyway, don't focus on revenge because that's not good either!

You can do it, alright!?

[mamasam]

What would i do without you????? You are such a strong , gorgeous woman!!! Thank you so much for all of the strong words...between the nurturing of dear dear (((((Shattered)))) and ((((((U))))) ..how could a person go wrong!!! I know you are so right about everything, i have been raped by a "friend", i was 18. That's another story for another day... I learned self defense, and learned to never go out alone...always stay with a group of friends, but how do you protect yourself from Mr. Right???? when he is a wolf in sheeps clothing? lol... anyway i am so so so so glad to get your reply! I still have part 3 to post