my story

[Advent]

Im 16 years old, coming on 17 and go to college.
My depression started about 3 years ago.. I have a massive family of 4 sister and a brother, my parents are still together, as my mum is manic depresive my dad is an alcoholic you can probably tell how it is at home. Neither of my parents know im depressed they did but they think its blown over, they have worse things to worry about.

Ill start with my brother the eldest of the kids,who has always been the trouble maker of the family, he started smoking and taking drugs at the age of 14 and there was rumour going around my old shool that he delt drugs, not just canabis other stuff too... I was never sure of this though.

My second eldest sister was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 6 which was never easy for any of us. but we coped. But that wasnt the only problem she had a boyfriend aged 18 when she was 14 who she met on a diabetic camp. They went out and about a week or two into the realtionship she realized he had mental problems; manic depression, which then developed into schizophrenia (how ever you spell it) she couldnt cope after a few months and just left him.. but he wouldnt leave her alone she is now 18 and still gets threats from him.. he has been known to follow her places and even came to me on msn with out me knowing it was him and he made me think he was someone from college and i ended up on webcam with him where he did thing i did not want to see.... he is now leaving us alone, but is still on the streets we live. My sister has a new boyfriend who she loves to bits, but falls out with a lot. The arguments are mainly because of her bi polar disorder... whhich also another thing we all have to cope with at home when she is back from uni. She also finds it hard to cope at uni and calls me regularly crying down the phone.

Now we come to my eldest sister, the person who is most problemed in the family. she has had OCD for as long as i can remember she did not admit to it untill recently but we have known she has had it for a while now. She has many rituals which can vary from saying things to washing her hands over and over.. these things might seem small but they have led her to leave uni.. she is also i very strong vegan.. which is in a way another one of her rituals although she is in love with animals and did animal consevation at uni a lot of the things she does to do with being a vegan seem like her rituals.. I have always found it hard to cope with her illness at home.

My 2 youngest sister are ok in the problemed zone. they of course have there ups and downs in moods but living with a family like mine can be hard.

This then leaves me. Ive been depressed on and off for 2 years now, a lot of my depression has lead to near suicide.. without my parents ever knowing. the only time they realized i was depressed was when my sister found out i self harmed and she told my mum. This ended up with me getting worse.. I feel as if my problems are in superior to my siblings and so non of my family know about my depression at the moment in facet at the moment i fell i can only talk to one person.. I suffer from insomnia.. lack of self confidence i feel guilty for things i have not done.. and the list goes on.. i fnd what help the most is writing down all my thoughts on paper..


If anyone had anything they suggest may help me please wrire back

that my story for you..

peice.
x

[shatteredhopes]

*hugs* with all that going on, no wonder you are so depressed. First, I don't know where you live but please search the internet or your local phone directory to find al-anon. Since you have an alcoholic parent, you will find help and support there to help you cope. Adult Children of Alcoholics is another group, but if you are still dealing with an alcoholic parent at home, that has a dramatic effect on you, so I would suggest you contact al-anon. That is a group for family members of alcoholics.

Second, can you talk to a counselor or is there mental health department at your university? You would probably do well to get some professional help with all you've got going on, and I know you don't want to burden your family, but you need to take care of yourself too, and if you can't get help at the university, perhaps you should tell your parents you need help and get to a doctor or therapist. Sometimes medicine and having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.

Try as best you can not to take on your siblings problems when you have so much going on yourself. Please seek out help. Meanwhile, we are here for you and listening....

Wishing you light and peace in your day...