Me

[DepressedNla]

This is my story of my life.
I have dealt with depression most of my life and I think it could be as a result of unresolved issues in my past. I never talk about it. Ever.
When I was 11 my parents got divorced. My mom kept me and every other weekend I went to my dads. My mom started working in a bar and spent much of her time there. That was the only way she could support us. She also took on a totally new lifestyle. New friends and alot of drinking and I am sure, some drugs. This was done around me. She also had a new boyfriend about 10 years younger than her. For about 3 years this went on. They fought and police were at our house at least once a month. I was always there. No one ever attempted to take ms from the situation and I couldn't leave I was terrified that my mom would hurt herself if I left. So I chose to stay. Well eventually her bf came on to ms when I was 14. I woke in the middle of the night. They just got home. He came in my room and kisses me on my neck mouth open. Pretended to still be asleep and he left my room. My mom ended ip kicking him out for another reason, if I remember correctly. Well right before Christmas he begged her to come home and she gave the phone to me to make the decision and I said yes he could come back because I knew that wAs what would make her happy. Then about 2 months after he came back, I caught him watching me take a bath from under the bathroom door. I flipped out and left the house. My mom was at work. I ended up tellling her days later and she kicked hi
out. That's the end of that. There is more to the story- These are the most significant points.
Now I am dealing with depression and I don't k ow why. I am 24 now and I have good life but I can't let go of it all. I think it might n
be the root of my depression. Suggestions, thoughts, etc????

[xn728]

im sorry these things happened to you when you were younger ,,we all carry pain of a differant kinds here some simaler to yourself ,,some for lots of other reasons ,,i hope you will find some support here it is a kind and loving family here ,,you will soon make many freinds ,,and im sure the warmth of the forum will make you feel a little less alone ,,,i have a normal family life ,,but we hide our pain very well dont we ,,i cant give you any tips on leaving that pain behind ,,mine haunts me every night and day ,,but then i did cause my own destruction ,,but i know without doubt you will find many freinds here and some will have had a simaler experiance ,,i hope you find what your looking for ,,,reach out and if you stumble on this long journey we make ,,i will reach out and catch your fall ,,,,welcome home hugs (((((depressednla))))) ,,,,xn728x

[crystalgaze]

Have you ever done any formal counseling? I know when I did it, it helped me out a great deal.

Now that I have ideas on how to tackle things, I try to do it on my own.... Plus, I am hoping to start back maybe after I land a decent job.