Drifting Away ,,,,
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy LISA
thanks lisa ,,i may put more on in future ,,show you my arm tattoos lol
watching king of queens at the moment ,,then a father ted dvd ,,about 9pm iis it your soaps night tonight ,corrie pherhaps ,when it gets to 10pm well be watching murder detectives on cable ,nice to see you lisa ,,i catch you tommorrow sleep we,ll ,,,see you later lisa take care ,,snowing like crazy here by the way
hugs ken xxxx
watching king of queens at the moment ,,then a father ted dvd ,,about 9pm iis it your soaps night tonight ,corrie pherhaps ,when it gets to 10pm well be watching murder detectives on cable ,nice to see you lisa ,,i catch you tommorrow sleep we,ll ,,,see you later lisa take care ,,snowing like crazy here by the way
hugs ken xxxx
MOTHER AND FATHER
today i wake ,to find my mother and father in my mind ,,clear as day ,,
both still alive in there seventies ,,,but i did make them die all those years ago ,,cremated them in there own home ,along with all there possestions
burnt alive as it were ,,,and now they are people i dont know , divorsed
late in life because of the strain i put them under ,as i ran out of control like a train with no brakes ,destroying everything in its path ,when will the trains jorney end ,will it run out of track and be destroyed ,i see my mothers two strokes ,and as i see myself sat at the end of the hostpital bed ,looking at this stranger ,someone who i feel no love for ,,just a strange old lady ,i struggle to say anything worth while to her ,so silent i sit ,,only the visitor ,speaks in my mind look at her ,see what you have done ,,those two strokes were you ,and the divorse was also you ,,it whispers to me in the silence ,,then from nowere my mother calls me by my nickname ,,,,it been 30 years since i had been called by that name ,,,
why did she call this out ,,she to must have been thinking about what i had done ,,,this old man she sees now ,what does she think of me ,,,
does she feel hate ,,or like me does she just see a stranger ,with no feelings or love or compassion ,,,ive never had the courage to say sorry to them both ,,what differance would it make ,,the damage is already done ,,there feelings for me must be dead inside ,,i cant forgive myself ,so asking them for forgiveness would be a worthless venture ,
when she speaks now ,she talks like a little girl ,,altough i still have my yppah ,these are the things i have to deal with ,,but i carry them well ,
its my duty to pay ,,so i only tell you how i feel here ,so you can see how we all suffer in differant ways ,,i dont complain as such , and of the train hurtuling threw my life without control ,,,its journey will end one day ,and then the visions and the torment will stop ! or will it ,pherhaps i will become the visitor ,and the torment will become greater,
that only i will ever know ! so now i will sit here in the room alone and be tormented some more ,,its cold outside ,,daytime tv does nothing for me
so i cant keep busy to keep the thoughts away ,, im working tommorrow and satUrday ,i may get some reileif then ,,bye for now hugs ken xxx
both still alive in there seventies ,,,but i did make them die all those years ago ,,cremated them in there own home ,along with all there possestions
burnt alive as it were ,,,and now they are people i dont know , divorsed
late in life because of the strain i put them under ,as i ran out of control like a train with no brakes ,destroying everything in its path ,when will the trains jorney end ,will it run out of track and be destroyed ,i see my mothers two strokes ,and as i see myself sat at the end of the hostpital bed ,looking at this stranger ,someone who i feel no love for ,,just a strange old lady ,i struggle to say anything worth while to her ,so silent i sit ,,only the visitor ,speaks in my mind look at her ,see what you have done ,,those two strokes were you ,and the divorse was also you ,,it whispers to me in the silence ,,then from nowere my mother calls me by my nickname ,,,,it been 30 years since i had been called by that name ,,,
why did she call this out ,,she to must have been thinking about what i had done ,,,this old man she sees now ,what does she think of me ,,,
does she feel hate ,,or like me does she just see a stranger ,with no feelings or love or compassion ,,,ive never had the courage to say sorry to them both ,,what differance would it make ,,the damage is already done ,,there feelings for me must be dead inside ,,i cant forgive myself ,so asking them for forgiveness would be a worthless venture ,
when she speaks now ,she talks like a little girl ,,altough i still have my yppah ,these are the things i have to deal with ,,but i carry them well ,
its my duty to pay ,,so i only tell you how i feel here ,so you can see how we all suffer in differant ways ,,i dont complain as such , and of the train hurtuling threw my life without control ,,,its journey will end one day ,and then the visions and the torment will stop ! or will it ,pherhaps i will become the visitor ,and the torment will become greater,
that only i will ever know ! so now i will sit here in the room alone and be tormented some more ,,its cold outside ,,daytime tv does nothing for me
so i cant keep busy to keep the thoughts away ,, im working tommorrow and satUrday ,i may get some reileif then ,,bye for now hugs ken xxx
OH GOD HES PUT ANOTHER ONE ON
ive added another pic today ,,it my eldest daughter bridget ,,with fran and myself ,,, hope you like it ,,,,,hugs ken xxx ITS QUIET AGAIN TODAY IM AFRAID THE PAIN HAS YOU MY DEAR FREINDS ,,take care and remain strong ,,turn around you will see me beside you ,,,,,hugsxxxx
OH NO MORE PHOTOS
OK LAST TIME I PROMISE ive put a couple of photos of my tattoos on the gallery ,a couple of people wanted to see them may look a little strange i took them myself lol ,,,,stay safe see you soon hugs ken ,,xxxps may take a while to appear
FALLEN DOWN AGAIN
well ive felt a lttle down over the last few days ,,,today was no exeption
but its been a little better than yesterday ,,,but this day is now nearing its end ,,and i dread tommorrow ,ive felt ok a lot lately ,and i feel great dissapointment ,,i try to show strentgh for everyone ,but it seems i have fallen down ,it hurts even more after a period of feeling happy ,,the ground seems to hit you harder ,,im sorry ,,even though i know these feelings will pass ,,i am sorry ,,,,,hugs ken ,,xxx
but its been a little better than yesterday ,,,but this day is now nearing its end ,,and i dread tommorrow ,ive felt ok a lot lately ,and i feel great dissapointment ,,i try to show strentgh for everyone ,but it seems i have fallen down ,it hurts even more after a period of feeling happy ,,the ground seems to hit you harder ,,im sorry ,,even though i know these feelings will pass ,,i am sorry ,,,,,hugs ken ,,xxx
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