Meaningless Existence
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Meaningless Existence
My very existence feels so meaningless. I am present in body only for my mind is so very far away. There is no point to my days and I am too apathetic and despondent to do anything about it. I know it has to be me to take a step but I am paralyzed by depression. I feel so self-centered and while I hate that, I cannot seem to help it. Looking outside my own misery takes so much effort that I elect not to do it. I am totally and completely focussed on my suffering instead of on things that might have a chance of making me well. I don't have a job and my performance as a wife and mother for these last 5 years has been abysmal. I have to find a way to bring some meaning to my existence. I have to take a step forward otherwise this disease will keep me forever. It is so damn hard.
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- Posts: 664
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
- Location: U.S.
I know, it is the catch 22 of depression the very things we know would help our depression we sometimes can't do because of our depression. But your life is NOT meaningless, not only do all lives have value you are a Wife and Mother, which has great meaning to your family. You are a supportive friend, which has great meaning to those of us here whom you are always there for.
Mich, one thing that has helped me lately, i have been participating in the chat portion of this website. Has perked me up at times and had private chats with others undergoing similar things. Helped a lot with sense of loneliness. Please try it. Maybe you and I can arrange to meet in the chat portion and have a personal chat? It is a lot like group therapy, where we help each other brainstorm ideas to help others or ourselves and talk about our issues.
Please see if you can force yourself to at least find out about group, even if you don't go now, and find out about volunteering, even if you don't do it right now. It helps me so much to get outside myself once in awhile in helping others. For a brief period, i am not inside myself and my sorrow, but focused on someone else, whether it is supporting someone here or volunteering a bit. I can't do much, and it helps me more than I help anyone else, but I'm sure the times you support others on this website you know what I am talking about.
If only we could see in ourselves what others see in us. You feel a failure as wife and mother, but I am confident your family doesn't feel that way, or they wouldn't still have you there. You are caring kind supportive friend who is always so strong and encouraging for the rest of us. You are bright, and warm, and deserving of healing...
Mich, one thing that has helped me lately, i have been participating in the chat portion of this website. Has perked me up at times and had private chats with others undergoing similar things. Helped a lot with sense of loneliness. Please try it. Maybe you and I can arrange to meet in the chat portion and have a personal chat? It is a lot like group therapy, where we help each other brainstorm ideas to help others or ourselves and talk about our issues.
Please see if you can force yourself to at least find out about group, even if you don't go now, and find out about volunteering, even if you don't do it right now. It helps me so much to get outside myself once in awhile in helping others. For a brief period, i am not inside myself and my sorrow, but focused on someone else, whether it is supporting someone here or volunteering a bit. I can't do much, and it helps me more than I help anyone else, but I'm sure the times you support others on this website you know what I am talking about.
If only we could see in ourselves what others see in us. You feel a failure as wife and mother, but I am confident your family doesn't feel that way, or they wouldn't still have you there. You are caring kind supportive friend who is always so strong and encouraging for the rest of us. You are bright, and warm, and deserving of healing...
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- Posts: 664
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
- Location: U.S.
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