I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but........
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I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but........
I am a 23 year old screw-up. I graduated high school and became complacent with my life . I have never had any mental health issues or problems with depression or anxiety. I just feel so low right now my parents tried so hard to raise me the right way they invested so much time and effort into my education.But growing up things always came easy to me in school . I was not picked on or ridiculed acutely I was a lettermen 3 out of four years in high school. But the last few years I have made serious mistakes in my personal life. I have a 3 year old little girl who is the light in my life, I only get to see her twice a month which hurts more than anything. I am unemployed and have been for about 2 months now. I get by on unemployment and my current girlfriend takes care of pretty much everything. I don't want to come off as a whiner or anything I understand I have made my bed now I have to sleep in it . But I feel my life lacks a purpose. My father passed away when I was 16, and I know he is not happy with me or proud to see his oldest child complain to strangers on the net.I have never used that as crutch growing up and I won't start now but I am desperate for answers because there is no light at the end of this tunnel I mean how long can I expect a perfectly normal and attractive woman to continue to support me. I guess I'm kinda just waiting for the other shoe to drop. My Life sux and I'm willing to put in the work to change that. Can Anyone here give me a little advice. I'm not looking for pity. Give it to me straight
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- Posts: 1060
- Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
- Location: South Wales
Advice? I don't know about that, but here's a few thoughts, in the hope that they may help.
One of the things I was told when I was getting my still-partial recovery from depression and anxiety under way, was to challenge my negative feelings and thoughts about myself. Just reading your post, I was struck by the negative tone you use about yourself. Changing the way you think and speak about yourself, may sound trivial, and WILL be difficult. ( Thinking in more positive terms about myself is something I've found helps me, but is still difficult for me. It doesn't come easily to me, in fact there are times that it feels like trying to learn a foreign language! ) But, please do so.
If you keep thinking of yourself in negative terms, I can't help being concerned that you're going to create a self-fulfilling prophecies.
You feel you need advice, so, you're looking for it. That's a smart move, give yourself a pat on the back. Don't beat yourself up for " whining " because you're not.
Don't worry about being unemployed, you WILL find work, as I did after many years of unemployment. In, the meantime your girlfriend is helping you to get by. Perhaps, in the future, hopefully not, but it's possible, perhaps your girlfriend will be unemployed, and you'll help her to get by. Isn't that how relationships work.
In the meantime, try taking small gradual steps towards where you want to be. But, value yourself!!!! Don't lose the game in your head before your even step on the pitch.
Good Luck!
One of the things I was told when I was getting my still-partial recovery from depression and anxiety under way, was to challenge my negative feelings and thoughts about myself. Just reading your post, I was struck by the negative tone you use about yourself. Changing the way you think and speak about yourself, may sound trivial, and WILL be difficult. ( Thinking in more positive terms about myself is something I've found helps me, but is still difficult for me. It doesn't come easily to me, in fact there are times that it feels like trying to learn a foreign language! ) But, please do so.
If you keep thinking of yourself in negative terms, I can't help being concerned that you're going to create a self-fulfilling prophecies.
You feel you need advice, so, you're looking for it. That's a smart move, give yourself a pat on the back. Don't beat yourself up for " whining " because you're not.
Don't worry about being unemployed, you WILL find work, as I did after many years of unemployment. In, the meantime your girlfriend is helping you to get by. Perhaps, in the future, hopefully not, but it's possible, perhaps your girlfriend will be unemployed, and you'll help her to get by. Isn't that how relationships work.
In the meantime, try taking small gradual steps towards where you want to be. But, value yourself!!!! Don't lose the game in your head before your even step on the pitch.
Good Luck!
My first bit of advice to you would be to give yourself a break. You have had a rough time of things lately and it is not whining when you are letting people know about your situation.
I am hoping that you will continue to post us. We are a good group of people. In the time that I have been here I feel that I have made several very good friends. Actually I suppose you could say that the members of this forum are kind of like my family. Sometimes more of a family than my real family.
My second bit of advice would be. Remember the light of your life. You are her dad and are probably the light of her life too.
I am hoping that you will continue to post us. We are a good group of people. In the time that I have been here I feel that I have made several very good friends. Actually I suppose you could say that the members of this forum are kind of like my family. Sometimes more of a family than my real family.
My second bit of advice would be. Remember the light of your life. You are her dad and are probably the light of her life too.
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