DESTRUCTIVE URGE

[xn728]

well the trazadone are in me and i feel drowsy ,angry at myself for getting into this state ,angry my freinds have seen me like this,angry that ive taken so many differant out of date tabs .thankyou for your kindness
i feel i dont deserve it ,thankyou im tired night ken

[Monty]

Ken,

I was installing my new Norton Antivirus this morning, and it tied up the computer until now, and I just have a few minutes before I have to head out of the house.

There are several people who have said that they will take you pain for the night (as you have so often said you would do for us). You can add me to the list.

You are such a kind, gentle, compassionate man. We all hate to see you go through all this pain. You (like all the others on this forum) don't deseve anything but compassion shown back to you.

Please, keep on writing Ken.

Don't give up. There are a lot of us that have you often, in our thoughts, and for some prayers.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

[lisalou]

dearest ken, please don't be angry with yourself or feel guilty for being 'in this state', i'm glad you can share it with us. and YOU DO DESERVE OUR KINDNESS!!! hope you can find some rest tonight

sending you strength and love, lisa xx

[xn728]

im standing up ,unsteady on my feet ,i will soon raise and put on my armour ,ive been very silly and im sure i would have died ,,,,ken

[Mich]

So glad to hear you are standing and also very happy that you are writing again. I really hope you did not do anything to harm yourself.

[shatteredhopes]

You were missed yesterday and I for one was worried about you. So glad you are back friend! Absolutely agree, you deserve our kindness. You are so kind to others. YOU ARE A KIND HUMAN BEING who deserves to be treated that way in return.

Sending thoughts of brotherly love and peace your way...

[xn728]

your so kind all of you dear freinds ,ive been on a long journey ,and really at one point thought i would not make it back ,but here i am ,getting stronger ,your kind words to greet me ,you were there for me
and when i write things here and this happens i know i must have made an impression ,were all links in a big chain and when a link becomes weak the others take up the strain ,thankyou so much ,,,,,,ken

[xn728]

well the old tablets have been destroyed ,and ive had a little to eat ,fran weighed me this morning and was upset to see i only weieghed 10 stone
3 pounds ,reasons for getting so upset ,probably the shelley thing ,and
because of the swine flu threat we cant go out ,i need to get out of the house ,so if needs be i sit around the garden with a big coat on .i enjoy the forum but i must tell you ,it hurts maybe im over senative but reading about your pain really hurts ,and when i say here ill take it from you ,i really do and would take it all if i could ,your a fantastic group of people
and i dont think i could leave here if i treid please dont tell me ,not to get upset ,and not to worry ,its the way i am made ,and you cant change me ,dont forget your looking at a guy here who will stop in the middle of the road to remove a snail from harm ,i may fall ill at times and cry out in pain but i,ll always stand up and be with my freinds once more ,it is an
honour to know you all ,and i will say thankyou to you my dear freinds ,together we are one ,when we lay in pain ,we cannot see ,but our freinds surround us to keep us safe ,and there nothing like the kind words i found waiting for me on my return ,,,,,,,my true freinds ,,,,,,ken

[shatteredhopes]

Sending brotherly love your way...you are a kind soul.

[lisalou]

welcome back home ken, great to know you are ok and a big well done for destroying those tablets and taking steps to eat again. i'll pop some more jacket potatoes on the fire to help put some of that weight back on,now do you fancy cheese, tuna or beans with it????!

[xn728]

ahhhh lisa thankyou ,,and the spuds ,,,,holy crap throw the lot on yeeayyy
im in bed now but thats just a great idea ,tommorrow for tea i will have these ,,,defo,,thanks for your post lisa ,i made myself really ill ,i be careful from now on ,its all the stress ive had lately ,no were for it to go you see ,no brothers or sisters ,no mates ,jesus no wonder im depressed
gimme those damn tablets iggy ,iggy ,,,,just joking ,im gonna watch king of queens soon ,didnt have a bonfire ,i was to ill ,i uaally have a small one in the incinerater ,maybe tommorrow ,,nice to hear you lisa ,hope your not to bad ,,,hope marks ok ,be strong lisa if we all stick together
maybe there will be something better for us one day ,if each time we are in pain ,if we share maybe we can dilute it and make it weak ,so next time it cant hurt as much ,,,,,stay safe lisa ,,,,,,,ken

[lisalou]

i have no brothers or sisters either and mich said in her post today that she doesn't either, maybe we can all be each other's family, enjoy your bonfire tomorrow if you have one, i gave bonfire night a miss, most people from work went to a fireworks display but i gave it a miss, it's so hard being with people at the moment. mark is good, he is busy learning lines for the play he is in, he's the mad hatter in alice in wonderland, think that should be me, ha ha

[xn728]

thanks lisa ,yes we.ll be that small family ,i always felt lonely all through life ,and i suppose i was jelious of other kids with bros /and sis,ers,they always seem so strong and confident ,and i was always quiet and mouse like ,an easy target,for abuse from other kids ,but i have good freinds here now ,and i enjoy your company ,glad mark does things like that it will do him good ,and the tea party hey ,we,ll i think there may be room for all of us around that table ,,,,,,a little bit of yapph today ,and i will hang on hard this time ,good feelings for you today lisa i hope ,,,ken

[Mich]

So delighted that there is a little bit of yapph for you today Ken. I also felt very envious of kids with brothers and sisters and used to fantasize about being adopted into a big loving family. The family here is wonderful. I cherish you all so much and hope with all my heart that everyone is doing okay. I know Lisa is suffering today and my heart goes out to her.

[xn728]

heyyyyyy mich thanks for your reply ,i feel ok now ,getting stronger
still feel a little woosy ,serves me right ,i hope your feeling alright today
ive seen lisa post ,i hate to see my freinds suffer ,while you all suffer so do i ,cant help it ,thats the way im made ,hope to post later ,
you stay we,ll and dont worry about lisa ,she will stand agin soon
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken