Scared

[xn728]

hello ,i know you have alot on ,but i would just like to tell you ,that your employer does have a legal duty to help you ,i know it can be awkard ,i found this out on my own ,and there is a winning story here ,but i dont want to print it for obvious reasons ,if you ever need any info about this just ask ,im not sticking my nose in ,so unless asked i will speak no more
glad your posting to mich again ,xn728 ken

[Mich]

Hi Lisa - I am glad you got signed off for the rest of the week. Going in for a few hours each day next week sounds like a good way to ease into things. I really hope you can swing the Friday's off. I think it is so important for you to go to your Group and I want them to support you in that. I don't know what IBS is like but I sure do know about anorexia. I know that it's a fight every day and it is so hard to combat those feelings of body hatred. I have been at a recovered weight for over a year now and I struggle every day with wanting to restrict and just get smaller again. I hope you can keep up the fight and not succumb to her powers. I'm so glad you posted today. Hope the counsellor appt goes well.

[lisalou]

thanks to both of you,ken and mich for replying. i know that under the DDA (disability discrimination act) an employer is expected to make 'reasonable adjustments' to allow you to continue working. i certainly think i'm being reasonable (for once!) it's great to hear that you had success with your workplace ken. i really don't know if my counselling session helped or not,i felt too quiet and broken to do much of the 'work' she was trying to do with me on the past. mostly i just feel it is all just so futile,churning over the same things,nothing changes the awful hurt and yet numbness i am carrying around with me. how many times do i have to say i hate my mother to please them and be considered cured? sometimes i can't believe all this effort that is being wasted on a body and mind that are beyond salvation,the foolishness of trying to erase two decades of decay. tomorrow my boyfriend is having to have a chat with his own employers about my mental health problems to explain the worries and the toll it is taking on him. i never wanted him to be my carer,this is not what he signed up for,i am a burden. he is out tonight and i know he will be enjoying the freedom of being away from me. we are doing more and more apart - or rather,he does things and i do nothing. he is going away in a couple of weeks and i will frantically try to fill the void with tv, music, as many lights as possible, i am a 28yr old woman who is afraid of the dark - or more specifically of being alone with my own mind in the darkness. i am a 28yr old woman who has no idea how to look after myself, eat normally,perform bodily functions without pain,cope with the practicalities of daily life, money, how to feel safe,i am going to die a child,little girl lost,always hungry

[xn728]

hey lisa the little girl you speak of is still inside you ,childhood never leaves you good or bad ,you will find your way no matter how bad you feel now ,we all have the need to go on ,even if we dont feel it ,you just have,nt learned how to find it yet ,the hope you give to others with your kind words is the same hope that will help you survive .your never alone everyone thinks of others suffering ,its the common thing we have ,
i cant take your pain away ,just be strong ,,,,xn728 ps not a good time i know but im not getting thread alerts ,so if i miss anyone im sorry ,ken

[lisalou]

thank you so much ken,those were really kind words which i really needed after an appallingly painful few days

[xn728]

hey glad to hear you feeling better ,im having lots of trouble just now ,the thing kicks me out ,and says link broken ,and im not getting reply alerts
anyway glad to hear from you ,,,xn728 ken