it's destroying me being so alone

[Tia22678]

Hi everyone,

I also understand this website is quite inactive so hopefully this will catch the eye of someone

Recently made this account and while I don’t have friends, I just wanted to use this place to just talk. My parents have fully given up on me now- they don't understand how to deal with my illness so they just ignore me. Which I don't blame them for, they didn't ask for this. And these days I don’t really have anyone to turn to as they were my last options.

I’m not on this site 24/7, but I’ll try to reply as quickly as I can. I’d really love to hear about your lives and get to know you better or even if you just want to dump every single issue you have I'd love to listen and talk—it’s a good distraction from my own thoughts. We don't have to talk all the time, or more than once. but it would just be nice to hear from anyone. I'm here to listen for as long as you like. Reading through forums it's nice to see there are others like me, Although many users I find just stop posting which hurts my heart not knowing what stage in life their at, if they grew and got better or if it got to much - but no one deserves to live in pain

I don't know how long I can keep going but I have more things left to do and I'm running out of things that distract me from all my thoughts and voices.
I won't try and convince or change your mind, Dump my issues on you (I'm happy to listen to you)
I'm just alone and want to talk to a real human don't mind who you are

Cool, well thanks for reading . Messages open
And if you're reading this and you don't want to message that's ok, either way you're on here for a reason and im sorry for whatever that is, you deserve so much love and support and I hope it will reach you before it's too late. I can't give amazing advice as I myself are in a terrible state but at least we are all here together.

[Beehealthy]

Just checking in my son and I struggle with feeling sad and overwhelmed we are looking to get support from like minded people we live in Ohio

[Tom57]

I feel very much alone, too, myself. I have one friend and he's very old and not functioning well. He can be nice to talk to, but there are times he acts strange. Also he can be critical and hurtful to me at times. Perhaps it could be because he's not well.

And now I have a possibility of a health crisis coming up. I feel great now, but if there's something wrong, then I'll get treatment for it and that could set me down. And I'm all alone in this ordeal.

All I have for family is a brother & sister. They live 3000 miles from me and are around ten years older than me. I don't know much of what's going on with them health wise. My brother had leukemia and I don't know how he'd dealing with it. My sister has memory problems and we had a fallout recently, so we're not talking on the phone to each other now. Other than her memory problems, she's had some falls in which she broke her arms a couple of times. There maybe other health problems for her as well but she probably is not telling me. My family is notorious for keeping secrets. And the times that she has had to go to hospital, she never told me. I found out myself.

[Tia22678]

I feel very much alone, too, myself. I have one friend and he's very old and not functioning well. He can be nice to talk to, but there are times he acts strange. Also he can be critical and hurtful to me at times. Perhaps it could be because he's not well.

And now I have a possibility of a health crisis coming up. I feel great now, but if there's something wrong, then I'll get treatment for it and that could set me down. And I'm all alone in this ordeal.

All I have for family is a brother & sister. They live 3000 miles from me and are around ten years older than me. I don't know much of what's going on with them health wise. My brother had leukemia and I don't know how he'd dealing with it. My sister has memory problems and we had a fallout recently, so we're not talking on the phone to each other now. Other than her memory problems, she's had some falls in which she broke her arms a couple of times. There maybe other health problems for her as well but she probably is not telling me. My family is notorious for keeping secrets. And the times that she has had to go to hospital, she never told me. I found out myself.

I see. I understand how it's hard dealing with so much and having no one to lean on. Must be difficult with your friend not being able to offer the kind of support you need and your family being so far —and then the health stuff on top of it all. Must be a lot to handle. And I get how frustrating it must be when your family isn’t open with you about what's going on. My mum had an accident a while back, and was in critical condition, my parents kept the details from me as to how she was doing and what happened which frustrated me a lot.. It’s like you’re left out of the loop, unsure of how to even be there for them, and that’s just another weight to carry. By the way Is there any way at all you could patch things up with your sister?

You’ve got a lot on your plate and it seems like you’re just trying to keep it together, even though everything around you feels like it’s falling apart which is where we relate again. I think it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by all of it because you seem to be doing the best you can, and that’s all you can really do.
Seeing our similarities makes me think we are stuck in similar places even if our lives differ. Would love to hear updates in your life and hope you remain active on this website. if you're happy to share. And again, mainly I hope everything goes okay health wise.
Always here to listen

[Tia22678]

Hey Tia. I really appreciated when you mentioned how listening to other people was a good distraction for you from your own thoughts. I love my little distractions, they bring me a large amount of momentary relief. I sometimes feel very alone in public spaces and I'm struggling with some inner issues. But I'd like to say that you deserve love and support too. I don't think it's fair to yourself if you don't acknowledge that you deserve the nice things you're wanting for other people too. I'm saying that, but down to the end of your post I found it hard to believe I deserve those things too. I guess we should both be nice to ourselves, as hard as it might be. I hope we both get better.

Hey, thank you for saying that. I really appreciate it. It’s funny and weird in a way because sometimes it feels easier to give others the love and support they deserve than it is to give it to ourselves. I get what you mean about struggling to believe we deserve it, though I find it hard when I feel stuck in my own head sometimes, filling me with bad thoughts about myself or bad things I should do. But I think you’re right, we both need to try and be kinder to ourselves, even when it’s really tough. I’m really glad we’re talking here, and I hope we both find our way to some peace. Thanks for being here.

[Tia22678]

Just checking in my son and I struggle with feeling sad and overwhelmed we are looking to get support from like minded people we live in Ohio

Hey, Nice to see your message, I'm based very far in the UK
Must be extremely difficult feeling that way, especially when you're trying to navigate it with your son. The sadness and overwhelm can feel like a lot to carry on your own. It’s good that you’re both looking for support from others who understand
You’re both not alone in this. I’m also in a place where I’m struggling, so if you ever want to talk or just share what causing you to struggle this way, I’m here to listen. We’re all in this together. And if it's not me your want to share with I hope you both find some peace and the support you need

[Tom57]

"By the way Is there any way at all you could patch things up with your sister?"

I guess I should have said, "she had upset like she has does so many times and I finally had to let her go" instead of saying, "we had a fallout". She has been so aggravating and selfish to me and I couldn't put up with it anymore. I could call her, apologize, and take her back; but then I'd feel like I'm enabling bad behavior on her part. It's a long story about her and I and how it's been over the years.

I feel bad and I'm so sorry it had to come down to this.

[Tia22678]

"By the way Is there any way at all you could patch things up with your sister?"

I guess I should have said, "she had upset like she has does so many times and I finally had to let her go" instead of saying, "we had a fallout". She has been so aggravating and selfish to me and I couldn't put up with it anymore. I could call her, apologize, and take her back; but then I'd feel like I'm enabling bad behavior on her part. It's a long story about her and I and how it's been over the years.

I feel bad and I'm so sorry it had to come down to this.

I understand, setting boundaries with your family is never easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing you could do for your mental wellbeing. If you ever feel like reconnecting, you should only do it on your own terms, when and if you’re ready. Either way, you shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritising your own peace. And what you’re saying about enabling bad behaviour, I wish I myself could set boundaries in the same way you do. I let people treat me badly so I don’t lose them but am now realise that is the wrong way to do it. Though going back to what you said about both of your health I have to add that there may be a time where you two won’t have this opportunity to patch things up, will you not regret being like this to each other, is it worth fighting now? Is there no way to speak to her so she can acknowledge her behaviour to be better in these moments you have together or is she too selfish

[Tom57]

She has agonized me for so long and I let it happen for too long. She is totally selfish, as she mocks me when I correct her. I have told her how I feel but it does no good.

I'd rather be all done with this "patching up" stuff, because being told that is making me feel guilty. Also I'm feeling bad right now with all of the health anxiety going on right now.

[Feelingsareweird2]

Also I'm feeling bad right now with all of the health anxiety going on right now.

I'm sorry that's the case. It's no good when you're physical health isn't well, it doesn't help you feel any better emotionally. That's the worst. I hope you feel better soon Tom. Always wishing the best for you.

[Tom57]

I'm sorry that's the case. It's no good when you're physical health isn't well, it doesn't help you feel any better emotionally. That's the worst. I hope you feel better soon Tom. Always wishing the best for you.

Thank you so much for your nice reply. Physically I feel great and don't feel like there's something wrong. But I'm all anxious about a test coming up for me next Tuesday. It's in an area that I feel like there's nothing wrong that I can see and feel. With my mind, I'm always imagining the worst.

[joannaylor]

If you're struggling, please consider reaching out to someone who can offer support, whether it’s a close friend, a family member, a therapist, or a support group. There are also crisis hotlinesslope available where trained professionals can listen and provide guidance. If you're in immediate distress, please seek professional help as soon as possible.

[polytrack]

You are not alone. While no one may truly understand Poly Track what you are going through, there are people who are willing to listen and walk with you, even if they are strangers on the internet.

[Tom57]

It's been a while since I've posted on here. I've mentioned previously that I was having to take some tests as there were some concerns with my health. It was mainly about the thyroid. Well, as it turned out, everything's fine. All tests came out negative.

However I feel like I really am alone. I only have one friend here locally but he's not the best quality. There have been many times I've threatened to let him go. He's 90 years old, so he has physical limits. We talk on the phone mostly but sometimes we get together. At times he can be nice to talk to but other times he can be a real stinker. Sometimes he gets into a funky mood because he's not feeling well, and it's hard for me to deal with it.

It seems like the future, as far as making new friends and being in an OK financial situation, looks very bleak. Financially I'm fine now, but that may change in a few years. Having a good social life in future looks impossible. I don't have much going for me with family (I've never been married with no kids). My family hasn't been much of anything anyways.

[Feelingsareweird2]

. I only have one friend here locally but he's not the best quality. There have been many times I've threatened to let him go. He's 90 years old, so he has physical limits. We talk on the phone mostly but sometimes we get together. At times he can be nice to talk to but other times he can be a real stinker. Sometimes he gets into a funky mood because he's not feeling well, and it's hard for me to deal with it.

I have a friend who isn't really one. She's sometimes kind to me and lately she's been kind more often, but it still hurts me that I stuck around even though she has repeatedly shown me she doesn't value me like I value her. She showed me time and time again that she did not want to hand around me, but forced proximity sort of made us 'friends'. We're in the same class, same major, and we were the only people who knew each other from highschool. Sure she's nice now, but I'm waiting for the shoe to drop again.