Surprise, surprise! I'm new!

[_elle_]

I don't really know what to say here. I've always been terrible at this sort of thing. I'm 20 years old. I know I have some issues, I have little bouts of depression and some issues with anxiety (mainly in social situations). I've been trying really hard to work on this on my own by doing things like taking multivitamins and exercising and getting direct sunlight (when the weather isn't as terrible as it has been recently). I don't have the money for medications, so I feel like going to a psychiatrist/psychologist isn't for me. I know what I'm doing wrong with my life, and I know what a professional is going to say to try and fix it. My problem is the actual opening up to people and admitting when things are wrong, or when I have an issue. Or even just admitting it to myself. And being OK with myself. I have a bunch of self-confidence issues that are probably the main root of all of my problems.

And that's sort of where I stand right now. My best friend is insisting that I go to the school counseling center, but I don't want to. I hate expressing things verbally, I always say the wrong thing or nothing at all. Writing is the best for me, which is why I feel like joining a forum such as this one is the best idea for me, at least at first...

~Elle

[xn728]

hi elle , if your unsure what to say .write things down and read them to whoever you are seeing ,my wife suffers from panic and anxiety disorder,so i know how hard that can be ,dont worry about what others think to much ,you need to be what you want first and not what everyone wants you to be ,i would have said speak to doctor first and explainn how you feel ,your fears and how you think you should feel ,im not going to comment anymore because im ,not qaulified, so elle the are lots of things to read in here and everyone is great ,you can open up in here and we all understand ,ive suffered severe depprestion for 43 years ,and i find great comfort in here ,welcome and keep posting best wishes ,,xn728,,,Ken

[Mich]

elle - I have often had trouble verbally expressing myself to my doctor so I often write things down and ask him to read it. If you find writing comes easier to you, why don't you try to do that with your school counsellor? I have found that writing on this blog also helps me get rid of a lot of the dark thoughts that fill my brain. The people are great here.