down tonight so guess its not over yet

[LThomas]

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:29 pm

My day was ok ... nothing great just ok ... but it seems I've crashed again tonight and shaking like a leaf and just crying ...

what on earth am I crying for??? DUNNO

I'm ignoring folks at home here so that's not a problem ... nothing else should have me really down ... even my ex bf tried to lift my mood tonight and is trying to get me to go to my pdoc appointment tomorrow ... so what on earth is wrong with me?

I don't want to take any meds to sleep ... actually I kinda just threw them on the shelf with the videotapes out of my reach for safekeeping so I won't be stupid.

Listening to music but its not really helping me tonight and can't seem to find anyone online who might possibly seem strong enough to sit with me for a bit.



pretty much sucks trying and just being stuck in a rut huh? going through the motions I think it's called.

I don't want to see my pdoc cause when I went to the hospital I was adamant not to be back on the mood stabiliser or other meds so only on xanax and ativan right now .. but .. she may try to talk me into going back on them and I don't want to cause it caused many other health problems.

guess I'm just rambling and complaining

xxx Lisa xxx

[Stephen]

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 8:59 pm

((((((Lisa))))))))

I don't think you're rambling or complaining.

It's good to talk openly and express yourself, isn't it? And that's what you're doing... so good on you I say.

You know this place is here to talk, and then there's always the chat room if you'd like to talk more immediately to someone.

Hope your tomorrow is better for you.

Stephen.

[LThomas]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 3:47 am Reply with quoteEdit/Delete this postDelete this postView IP address of poster

thanks ((((Stephen)))))

I don't think anyone was online here last night so I didn't check the chatroom ... went to old chatroom and dunno why I did ... somehow I didn't really manage to get out any words really cause my anxiety was high so I logged out and lay down

Haven't slept at all so you can imagine what my eyes look like this morning with the crying and no sleep ... don't think there are cucumbers big enough to take down this swelling.

I'm still on two minds about the pdoc today ... guess I'll see what comes out my mouth when the hospital does their usual routine check this morning when they call me to confirm whether I will be going to the appointment or not.



going to get ready for work in a lil bit

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 4:24 am

(((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))

Will listen so you talk, ramble, whatever. Here to give all the support I can.

I do understand about medication. They give you one to help this and it ends up creating problems for something else. A horrible circle I think.

Just take care of yourself please.

Love to you

Warmie

[Tigger]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 7:09 am

(((((((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))))))) awww hun. Is there anyway you could try a different mood stabiliser?

Tigger
xxxxxxxx

[LThomas]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 9:41 am

dunno but I'm not going

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 10:38 am

(((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))))

Here for you. Don't forget please.

Love to you

Warmie

[LThomas]

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 12:44 pm

ok

so since I complained and whined and moaned and groaned

I'd better give you all a good laugh now

guess why I been such a poopseescoop ...

Shocked pms and bipolarism (dunno if that's a word) are a hell of a team LOLOL

that also explains why I've been sooooooooooooo freakin' crappy especially for the past two nights.

I'm obviously still feeling yuck .. but ... it's some relief thinking that I might not need the meds after all and that this too shall pass (at least for now)

One of our Directors here at the office has gone to get me some meds to sleep ... hopefully that helps me get some zzz's tonight.

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:31 pm

((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))

You do have your hands full, I think. Very proud that you can see what the issues are and getting through it all.

You always make me smile, thank you for that.

Please take care.

Love to you

Warmie

[Stephen]

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:54 pm

(((((Lisa)))))))

How's it going tonight???

Good luck with the sleep. I know how it feels to not sleep, I'm a total insomniac. Oh well.

Stephen.

[LThomas]

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:14 pm

still havent slept (pretty funny since I boasted earlier this week that I'm sleeping really good LOL)

it's only been three nights of no sleep ... no biggy .... I got about 1 1/2 weeks of no sleep to go before it becomes an issue and my body decides it wants to shut down.

good part is that I can concentrate despite the lack of sleep and anxiety so I can read or just poke around on the internet.

I decided today to open up a photobucket account and I registered on geocities to make my own website.
The theme??? hell! I dunno! I'm so computer illiterate that its kinda funny I did that earlier but it should keep me occupied while I'm awake lol

It's weekend and I hate weekend but I'll catch up with warmie's corner, clean the fishes and try and figure out how the heck to use my webcam.

xxx Lisa xxx

[Corey]

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:46 pm

(((((((((( Lisa )))))))))) now you just need to figure out how to use the microphone and webcam together. hehe

[LThomas]

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:00 am

ooooh Corey I can I can I can!!!!

I figured out the webcam thing last night and had some fun with some folks online.

We'll chat today via webcam and microphone k (lol I nearly typed microwave!) ... only be prepared ... the headphone thing is rather big for my head so you'll see me looking a lot like Minnie Mouse! heh!)

btw ... guess what!

I slept!!! yay! from 10.30 pm to 6.45 am ... totally uninterrupted sleep.

and .... I have some new baby fishes ... other than guppies again this morning lolol (those never stop breeding) ... I have either platies or hillaries (dunno which yet) they're just swimming around in the basin outside ... Ive never had baby ones of these before so here's a challenge.
Just gotta hope the adult fishes don't eat the babies cause I hate moving them ... I have loads of live plants so hopefully the kiddie fishies will be smart and lodge themselves in hiding places until they get bigger to come out in the open.

not a bad update eh? ohhhh ... no anxiety this morning probably cause of the sleep I got! *wink* Wink

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 4:34 pm

(((((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))

Wonderful update hon, way to go...... Happy for you. Keep us posted on the little fishes, deal?

Love to you

Warmie