1 of my uncles stayed at the house recently & perhaps the ugly truth of the matter is that out of 9 kids my mother's mother has, I really & truly only have 1 uncle, which is my mother's brother. Those two have the same last name & the other 7 have a different last name & that seems to have been the problem all this time (unknownst to me).
The 1 who was in such close proximity to me also got on my nerves because he talked to me, as if I were his maid-servant 1 time & I had to tell him a few nice words. I was glad I didn't blow a fuse, but I opened my mouth & I know he was not pleased with what I said. However, I was not going to allow him to do me any dirt on my own turf--whether I am too old to still be at home or not. All of those 7 are just looking at my parents simply as money bags & it's not going to happen on my watch. I don't care if they don't give me any thing, but I won't let them be taken advantage of when I'm right there to see it. Oh hell no.
Any way, I stayed away from "uncle", since he's really a stranger to me. I don't know if the guy holds a grudge or what & would try to harm me because he didn't get his way. (Paranoia alert)... They're mean spirited & I don't trust them any farther than I can see them. Even when I can see them, I'm watching them carefully to make sure my eyes aren't deceiving me.
"Uncle" coming to town netted 1 positive result & it's that I found out more about the mental illness part of the family. No 1's ever been diagnosed, but I think there is something of note. Out of the 9 kids, most are mental in some way. It's sort of hard to describe at this point, so sorry if my terminology is not quite right. I meant to say that most of my mom's mom children are off some how.
My mother's mom now has dementia as well....
I'm not sure what I'm facing, so I'll need to make sure I remind myself to take a trip to the doctor when every thing gets too out of hand & I'm not winning any more. I'm just going to hope I'm not too hard-headed to go to the doctor. (It can be hard to find a doctor that's right for you....)
~sigh~
Hum.... (Family Stuff) Trigger?
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crystalgaze
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Hum.... (Family Stuff) Trigger?
Last edited by crystalgaze on Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Crystal, always so intuitive and honest! You will beat your depression - that I can pretty much guarantee!!!
Go to the doctor if you need it, Crystal. Take care of yourself, ok?
And as far as your uncle... he should mind his own business about how old you are and still living at home. I was home until I was 25! I have a 40-year-old friend who still lives at home, by choice, as well!
Go to the doctor if you need it, Crystal. Take care of yourself, ok?
And as far as your uncle... he should mind his own business about how old you are and still living at home. I was home until I was 25! I have a 40-year-old friend who still lives at home, by choice, as well!
It is not funny, just odd that I have been feeling that my mood has been dropping, quite rapidly lately.
I have a lot on my plate, and also live with an aging parent who suffers from dementia.
I have gone through the deep depression stuff too many times now. I recognize the danger signals. From you post I can see that you also can see when things are going south.
It is none of his business whether you live at home, or not. That is something that is in the control of yourself, and the parent that you are living with. He is crossing the line big time by sticking his nose into your private business.
From your previous posts, I can see that you are a very strong, wise woman and I hope that you make sure that you take, not only care of yourself, but good care of yourself.
You deserve better.
I have a lot on my plate, and also live with an aging parent who suffers from dementia.
I have gone through the deep depression stuff too many times now. I recognize the danger signals. From you post I can see that you also can see when things are going south.
It is none of his business whether you live at home, or not. That is something that is in the control of yourself, and the parent that you are living with. He is crossing the line big time by sticking his nose into your private business.
From your previous posts, I can see that you are a very strong, wise woman and I hope that you make sure that you take, not only care of yourself, but good care of yourself.
You deserve better.
((((Crystal)))) Hoping you are doing ok, and that you have sought some help from a professional. What harm could it do, right?
((((Monty)))) I'm sorry you are feeling blue... dealing with your mother must be one hell of a handful on top of everything else, huh? Have you been able to talk to friends about it? Becoming a caretaker begins to take a TREMENDOUS toll on a person... I know you love your mother, but remember that you are only human and it's very very important that you take care of yourself as well...
((((Monty)))) I'm sorry you are feeling blue... dealing with your mother must be one hell of a handful on top of everything else, huh? Have you been able to talk to friends about it? Becoming a caretaker begins to take a TREMENDOUS toll on a person... I know you love your mother, but remember that you are only human and it's very very important that you take care of yourself as well...
Aim,
Don't want to steal Crystal's thread but just wanted to let you know that the depression seems to have hit hard.
I finally went to the doctor on Thursday. Friday morning I got a call from my pdoc's offie saying that I could have an appointment for first thing this morning, 9:30 to be exact.
Usually I have to wait months to see him, but it turned out that they had just gotten a cancellation, so I got in quickly.
We decided to not change my meds. I was on a very heavy regime a few years ago. After the ECT they stopped a lot of them, but it seems like they are creeping up again.
Going to try the route of giving me more of an opportunity to see my counsellor. Hoping that will ease the stress.
Hope that all is going well with you Crystal. Again sorry for breaking in on your thread.
Don't want to steal Crystal's thread but just wanted to let you know that the depression seems to have hit hard.
I finally went to the doctor on Thursday. Friday morning I got a call from my pdoc's offie saying that I could have an appointment for first thing this morning, 9:30 to be exact.
Usually I have to wait months to see him, but it turned out that they had just gotten a cancellation, so I got in quickly.
We decided to not change my meds. I was on a very heavy regime a few years ago. After the ECT they stopped a lot of them, but it seems like they are creeping up again.
Going to try the route of giving me more of an opportunity to see my counsellor. Hoping that will ease the stress.
Hope that all is going well with you Crystal. Again sorry for breaking in on your thread.
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crystalgaze
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The thread is here for every one to talk. It's not a problem. Thanks for the replies every one!
The update on this is that I am isolated, but that is actually a blessing in my family. They are almost all just a little too problematic. Except for my Aunt Gwinnie & my cousin Sandy + her son, I must keep every one away from me with a 10 ft pole.
I will have to prevail my way. It has taken me a while to see it, but I have almost every one right where I want them. Those folks have never looked for me or been a part of my life & now, they can't come in my face being "nice" to ask me for any thing (like they try with my parents) or to have any thing to say. They can't even form their lips to ask for any thing.
The constant vigil is a bit tiring & requires anger for now, but it works. Maybe I will find a way for the vigilance to not require anger.
Hold onto your aunt and your cousins, Crystalgaze. It does not take a whole village of people to help hold us up... just one or two who really care, and I bet that your aunt and cousins do. I'm so glad you have them to turn to!!! Consider yourself lucky in that respect, ok? So many people out there don't have anyone... all will be ok, Crystalgaze.
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crystalgaze
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Yes, I think you are right. My 1 aunt & my cousin + her son, they're okay. We don't all talk as much as we nearly should, but we all know we are rooting for each other. It is there in the event I really need it, even though I know I'm really stubborn & would much rather try to stand on my own.
The rest of the family really is no good. They don't care. All it is about is what they can get. I have tried with them enough times & I have had enough of it (even down to my own brother, who really annoys me because he can NEVER ever say any thing good about me & I haven't done him any thing). I'm really ready to just cut my losses. There's family I don't even really know because my father kept them away from me, due to the fact they tried to poison my grandfather against his own son (my dad) with a bunch of lies too numerous to list.
I really can't let them near me & have to give them up because they are rotten. When my grandfather died, my like 1st or 2nd cousin on my mother's side (my great aunt's son) came trying to get whatever he could get in our time of loss. Sorry but I don't want that sucker near me. I really can't trust him, even with a 10 ft pole.... He also did something very suspect when he suddenly decided to "look for me" when my parents weren't home & my dad was getting treatment for cancer. It so happened that I was away & when he saw my mother was home, he didn't bother to come back to "check on her". That rotten piece of molasses....
If they were different people, I'd more than continue to try with them, but they're really not worth it. I will be seriously depressed, if I let them near me. I don't need them infecting me; they're actually bad for my health.
It's sad, but it is what it is & they can bring it on whenever they're ready. If I have to use my last breath to fight them off, I will do so in a heartbeat.
The rest of the family really is no good. They don't care. All it is about is what they can get. I have tried with them enough times & I have had enough of it (even down to my own brother, who really annoys me because he can NEVER ever say any thing good about me & I haven't done him any thing). I'm really ready to just cut my losses. There's family I don't even really know because my father kept them away from me, due to the fact they tried to poison my grandfather against his own son (my dad) with a bunch of lies too numerous to list.
I really can't let them near me & have to give them up because they are rotten. When my grandfather died, my like 1st or 2nd cousin on my mother's side (my great aunt's son) came trying to get whatever he could get in our time of loss. Sorry but I don't want that sucker near me. I really can't trust him, even with a 10 ft pole.... He also did something very suspect when he suddenly decided to "look for me" when my parents weren't home & my dad was getting treatment for cancer. It so happened that I was away & when he saw my mother was home, he didn't bother to come back to "check on her". That rotten piece of molasses....
If they were different people, I'd more than continue to try with them, but they're really not worth it. I will be seriously depressed, if I let them near me. I don't need them infecting me; they're actually bad for my health.
It's sad, but it is what it is & they can bring it on whenever they're ready. If I have to use my last breath to fight them off, I will do so in a heartbeat.
God do you have a great attitude, gaze!
I learned long ago that I was to either accept people for who they were, or not to accept them at all. These family members of yours do not seem like they even deserve your acceptance, so it seems that you are making the right choice for YOU. Good job!!!
As for your aunt and cousins... maybe try to be around them more? They could prove very helpful when you are trying to fight off the negative.
I learned long ago that I was to either accept people for who they were, or not to accept them at all. These family members of yours do not seem like they even deserve your acceptance, so it seems that you are making the right choice for YOU. Good job!!!
As for your aunt and cousins... maybe try to be around them more? They could prove very helpful when you are trying to fight off the negative.
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crystalgaze
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What I Really Wanted to Post
Okay... I made a wrong post at 1st & actually believed I was making a new topic.
What I wanted to place here is that more of the family history seems to be appearing, which is good for me....
Mom has this thing called diverticulitis.... When I looked it up, I had/have had at some point a good bit of the symptoms listed as major ones or common ones.
That might help explain why my stomach + bowels throw a fit they way that it does at times. I will keep watching the whole thing & I know that I can't exactly diagnose myself, but seeing my mother has it, I can only wonder if it isn't hereditary or something like that.
What I wanted to place here is that more of the family history seems to be appearing, which is good for me....
Mom has this thing called diverticulitis.... When I looked it up, I had/have had at some point a good bit of the symptoms listed as major ones or common ones.
That might help explain why my stomach + bowels throw a fit they way that it does at times. I will keep watching the whole thing & I know that I can't exactly diagnose myself, but seeing my mother has it, I can only wonder if it isn't hereditary or something like that.
Gaze, the only one who can properly diagnose you is a doctor - and I know you know that, I'm just saying it again, I guess. Please do find a doc as soon as you can, ok? They can really ease your mind when you think there is something wrong with you. They either tell you there is not, or they give you a diagnosis and treat you properly.
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crystalgaze
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Of course, you are very right. I have been wondering what the issue is really & I've found that in order to get any meaningful treatment, I am going to have to move away from here.
It is going to be one tall order. New situations are often a little difficult. I don't know where I would even go at this point.
I would love to go to a doctor, but I'm going to have to find a temporary fix for feeling well at the moment, so I can work/try to get a government job, get insurance, & then do what needs to be done. As long as I am able to get the insurance in the 1st place, I will be able to keep it as long as I pay into it & lift some of the burden off of myself + my parents, who have been working with me very patiently.
While they're my parents, I can't very well expect them to take the entire burden for what's happening nor is that what I want. I'm going to try to be responsible. Getting the insurance won't take that much (maybe about 3 months in a job or even from day 1 or something like that). I think something like that will be good for me.
How I see it is that this is going to work or I will be sick & if it is too far along, then my parents will simply have to bury me. I am not worried about it. (I'm not saying I want to die, but I know they are supportive from a distance + that's something I have to work with at the moment.)
It is going to be one tall order. New situations are often a little difficult. I don't know where I would even go at this point.
I would love to go to a doctor, but I'm going to have to find a temporary fix for feeling well at the moment, so I can work/try to get a government job, get insurance, & then do what needs to be done. As long as I am able to get the insurance in the 1st place, I will be able to keep it as long as I pay into it & lift some of the burden off of myself + my parents, who have been working with me very patiently.
While they're my parents, I can't very well expect them to take the entire burden for what's happening nor is that what I want. I'm going to try to be responsible. Getting the insurance won't take that much (maybe about 3 months in a job or even from day 1 or something like that). I think something like that will be good for me.
How I see it is that this is going to work or I will be sick & if it is too far along, then my parents will simply have to bury me. I am not worried about it. (I'm not saying I want to die, but I know they are supportive from a distance + that's something I have to work with at the moment.)
Hey Gaze - glad to hear that you are thinking of working. It will help you feel better, I'm sure of it.
I too was blessed with wonderful parents, Gaze. They helped me through so much financially (with health insurance) and emotionally. They did not make me feel bad, but told me that I was pretty great and simply waited for me to heal enough to get the help they knew I needed. I'm so glad you have them too.
I too was blessed with wonderful parents, Gaze. They helped me through so much financially (with health insurance) and emotionally. They did not make me feel bad, but told me that I was pretty great and simply waited for me to heal enough to get the help they knew I needed. I'm so glad you have them too.
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crystalgaze
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- Location: USA
Ah.... Well, my mom will have surgery next month.... I don't know what to think, but I've decided to stay positive.
It can be hard dealing with her. Sometimes, I don't know what to do as a daughter...
Sadly, her definition of love is twisted, so I only "love" her, if I do every thing for her, which in my book is nothing more than a slave.... I'm not saying I don't like doing things for my mom. It's just that she usually stresses every body out with it (& I have no idea why that is)....
I have realized what I don't like about her & what I want to avoid & I've been releasing myself from the feelings that have been robbing me of my life/joy. My mom is very lazy.... I don't like that... How lazy? Well, if she doesn't want to get up to turn on the light, then she will tell/call me to do it & usually she's sitting right next to the switch, but just doesn't want to get up to put it on at all....
~sigh~ I guess I'm just going to have to work with her.... I haven't found a very good "counter-action" to it yet, but ~sigh~.... she could very well be depressed some place, so I guess I have no choice but to give her a break & try to gently handle it when it gets out of hand.
But really, I was SO mad at her for a long time....
It can be hard dealing with her. Sometimes, I don't know what to do as a daughter...
Sadly, her definition of love is twisted, so I only "love" her, if I do every thing for her, which in my book is nothing more than a slave.... I'm not saying I don't like doing things for my mom. It's just that she usually stresses every body out with it (& I have no idea why that is)....
I have realized what I don't like about her & what I want to avoid & I've been releasing myself from the feelings that have been robbing me of my life/joy. My mom is very lazy.... I don't like that... How lazy? Well, if she doesn't want to get up to turn on the light, then she will tell/call me to do it & usually she's sitting right next to the switch, but just doesn't want to get up to put it on at all....
~sigh~ I guess I'm just going to have to work with her.... I haven't found a very good "counter-action" to it yet, but ~sigh~.... she could very well be depressed some place, so I guess I have no choice but to give her a break & try to gently handle it when it gets out of hand.
But really, I was SO mad at her for a long time....
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