Depression and loneliness

[karolanne]

Hello everyone,

A life of depression is always harder because you alienate people around you, so you end up being lonely, which makes depression worse.

I am so lonely in life. I have absolutely no friend, and it's not a figure of speech, I literally have no friend. I'm alone for Christmas. Thank God I have my two dogs; they are probably the reason why I am still alive.

At work, I hide my depression and my suicidal thoughts, no choice. No one is interested by me. I try to have a conversation with them about every kind of topics, they always end up by stopping listening to me by starting to do something else. With everyone of them, I tested by stopping a sentence right in the middle and say "ok, see you later" and they just reply "see you later". For me, it's proof that my feeling about them stopping listening to me was right.

I organised a tiny meeting of 15 minutes with 3 of my coworkers, those I work the most with. I bought each a them a tiny presents for Christmas. A little earlier, I was enthusiastic and told them to don't forget our meeting this afternoon. They weren't nice and said they understand I wanted that meeting but they have tons of work and can't attend it.

I always end up alone. I always end up with no one to talk to, with no one who wants to listen to me. I tried to call suicide line and that kind of lines. It's not the same as having a friend, as having someone who follow your story over the time. The person you talk to have no idea who you are, where you come from and where you're going. She's there to listen to you at that exact moment. Which doesn't help me to feel less lonely.

Sometimes, it's harder to accept to always be alone, to accept that my life is wake up early in the morning, go to work and pretend everything is fine but still having no one to talk to, coming back home (thank God my dogs wait for me), watching a little bit of TV, going to bed. And everything start again.

I don't really know how to end my text.

[LexRex29]

Hello Karolanne,

It's early in the morning on Monday, December 17 so I'm about to go to bed soon, but I just want to say this:

You're most definitely not alone in being lonely all the time, in every situation. I'm right there with you .

Please feel free to reach out to me on here if you wanna chat. Like really. I don't know you, but im ALWAYS here I'm going through the exact same. For 10 years now. I just turned 29.

Talk soon I hope!

- LexRex29

[karolanne]

Hello LexRex29,

I know what it is to always be here. I'm member of that forum since 2012 and started to come to the chatroom in 2010 I think. I now don't come often because I don't have installation at home and can't access from work due to firewall.

I spent my teenage time partying. When I left that kind of people, I was about 17 years old, I ended up alone and I have been mostly alone since then.

I suffer from anemia. I'm always tired and need to sleep a lot. Which brings me to depression. It's an infernal circle. Always being tired isn't good to make friend. Always being depressed isn't good to make friend.

Why are you always alone?

[LexRex29]

Hello Karolanne,

I always just isolate myself. I feel I'm not
interesting to any other people I come in contact with

[karolanne]

What are you interested in? Do you do activities? Do you have animals?

I'm not really interested by people either but I think it's because I know they won't be interested by me anyways, not sure tho. I'm gonna have to think about this one...

[graceforeverandever]

I’m truly sorry for what you’re going through. I am so sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens, and venting. There is always hope even in the most difficult moments of our lives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. I’m truly sorry for what you are going through. It is understandable for what you are saying. It’s not fair in life when we experience rejection from others especially when we suffer from depression. Have you considered to seek therapy or counseling to help diagnose what is causing your depression? Counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are valuable and worthy of fighting for. Please do not give up! there’s always hope. Have you also thought about seeking social outlets such as charities organization, habitat for humanity, church ministries or groups that do social gatherings like hobbies, dances etc.? As human beings, we are created to be in communion with others. Please do not be afraid, then, to seek those who can share your hobbies or interests. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.

[j2415]

Hi Karolanne,
I’m very sorry you are in this kind of situation. Have you tried to join any support group or have you tried to volunteer, it may help you to feel less lonely. You can try to connect with your local church or community. You can also gain friends through this and try also social media. When I was new in America, I didn’t have friends and facebook had been my source of friendship. I started by commenting to someone’s posts and then that’s the start of building relationship.

We are here for you so please don’t feel alone. Keep posting, this is a safe place to release your emotions and no one will judge you. I hope you can find friends that you can talk to whenever you needed to. You are in my prayers, God bless.

[BOILERMANt]

Hey Karolanne
This is the old BOILERMAN . I fully understood everything that you wrote. Back when I worked NO One knew of my depression . Everyone called me layed Back. I never joined in their talks or after work things after 8-10 hrs I just wanted to go home to the one place that I was safe. I am VERY lucky to have a wife that I can talk to about anything. We have always said that its us agaist the world that we are here for each other . We have been together fr 34 years and will be until one of us dies. I hope one day that you will find that true friend to spend the rest of your life with. ((((((((((((((( karolanne ))))))))))))))))))

BOILERMAN

[Jtw]

I feel pretty isolated myself, so I understand how you feel. I had a dog too, I loved that horrible little mutt. He was aggressive, wilful and arrogant. I would throw him in a bag and strap it to my chest and go for a ride. He loved going on the bike and would jump up on it and wait for me.
I live in a 3rd world country. We once left him in the jungle with my ex-partner's family. We cam back the next morning to find he'd formed a pack from all the wild dogs. He was leading them around, teaching them to beg and do tricks.
One of the locals stole and ate him. I still miss him.

[Clarefrances]

Hi I had to reply to your post as I'm in a very similar situation. I seem to alienate myself from people and even when I push myself to go to social events/work I can't keep anyone's interest and I end up by myself as if I'm just watching everything through a screen. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have a dog and he's my world, the only reason I keep going. Due to his ill health I am having to prepare myself for the inevitable and it will destroy me. The monotony of my life is suffocating. I recently lost my only friend to cancer at 34 and literally have no one else to talk to. My loneliness and depression is starting to be all consuming and I physically can't find the energy to "do something about it". You are definitely not alone in your situation.

[random]

I just feel you, I feel the same. I feel like no one is interested and no one has a time for me and no one wanted my presence. But, I don’t want to force myself into their lives. I may not be that entertaining to be with, I don’t get along with what they want and how they do in life. I just feel I’m different and no one cares. So, I choose to live my own life. I choose to just continue living, I choose to go to work daily without that usually smile and joy because I have to. I know I’m loss but I will continue walking, I will continue holding to that hope that I’ll find my peers, that right one for me. and even be found by the one destined for me, to spend the rest of our lives. we’ll I sound hopeless romantic, I know. but what can I do? that’s the only thought that keeps me going.
for us, who is struggling with this loneliness; we’ll just have to continue and just hope that will meet the right person we can be with.
you are definitely not alone being lonely. we are quite a number hahah, kinda funny, thinking that many are lonely. I think we’re missing each other

[kenopam]

I don't have hardly any friends and have always been that way out of choice but now that I've been depressed I need to have someone
to talk too. I am in AA and that helps a lot and I asked an expert on Codependency and she suggested Al-Anon. Codependency is a person who grew up with a lost self and so they use people, substances or processes to regulate themselves. Darlene Lancer is an expert on YouTube and facebook. It's great you have the dogs! Already tonight just being on this site makes me feel less alone and is helping me. I drive a school bus and the pay is good and they always need drivers and they will train you! Not sure where you live. The kids are awesome and even the Middle school! I hope you start to feel better!

[Tired toad]

I know it’s not the same as having a in person friend, but if you need to talk, I will be there.

[Regina Quirion]

It’s great to know that your dogs keep you in a good headspace. Depression can be pretty challenging to handle. Well, which breed are they? I personally think that you can get your registered as an emotional support animal. Through that, you will have the legal right to keep them with you and even fly if you plan on traveling. Just don’t stress. It will be all fine.You have the dogs to support you. Relax.

[Spleefy]

Hi karolanne,

I hope that things have improved for you, even if just a little.

I find your situation very touching and relatable.

Well done for initiating a small social gathering. I found it excruciatingly difficult to do this when I was living with depression.

I felt much the same way with the suicide and depression hotline. Nothing compares to a true friend.

Keep trying to build your social network. I am not sure of your capacity to talk to random people on the streets, cafes, or any other social setting, but that is a sure-fire way of meeting many different, interesting people that may end up becoming friends.

I took a spiritual route; although, my faith in God was no based on building a friendship with other people, but due to Jehovah saving me when I was at rock bottom. I now have a friend for life with Jehovah. And befriending Jehovah God comes with the benefit of millions of friends around the world—a spiritual family. What a loving gift from our heavenly Father!

The spiritual family will always be there for you, in both good and bad times. Not only will you have a spiritual family, but you will have good associations in your life—that is, people who will not be bad influences but instead build you up and bring out the best in you. Who doesn’t want friends like that? People who bring out the best in you and build you up are what you can call true friends.

Of course, the decision is yours and yours alone, But it is one suggestion that will harvest guaranteed results.

If you are not quite ready for the spiritual route, you could consider becoming a member of a social club of some kind.

I understand there will be factors such as how much time you have, and whether or not you will be comfortable with it. I understand how confrontational social gatherings are, especially if you have social anxiety to boot like I once did. But once you gain momentum, it will get easier and become almost like second nature.

Another approach that is successful is to think of heartfelt ways to help other people. I like to mediate on Proverbs 11:25: “the generous person will prosper, and whoever refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

You wouldn’t help other people with the sole intention to make friends, as that would not be heartfelt and sincere. However, by being loving, kind and generous to other people, you’ll by default make good friends.

I’m glad that you have your pets at the very least. Dogs, in particular, give loyal love. Keep trying. You will find people out there who will also give you loyal love.

As a final thought… we need to be a good friend to others before they can be a good friend to us.

Please post as often as you feel you need to. You will always have someone on here to listen to you and rejoice when you rejoice; weep with you when you weep.—Romans 12:15.