Hey Guys

[heyitshaley]

I'm not sure where to start, I've never done anything like this before. About two months ago I moved to a different state for school, away from everyone and everything I know. I guess I wanted a fresh start, but I never knew how it would feel to be completely alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not strong enough. There are so many people who move away for a fresh start and just thrive, but I feel completely trapped and stranded to the point where I don't even want to do anything to try and make myself happier. I have random breakdowns that I've never had before, and I couldn't even tell you why. I've had certain (suicidal) thoughts which again I have never experienced before. I don't know where they come from. I almost know that I wouldn't do it, but the thoughts alone terrify me. One second I'm fine, and the next I just feel like there's no point in me even trying anymore since I'm so unhappy. I've tried to talk to my family about it, but its always "suck it up, you made this decision yourself so you have to deal with it." I guess I just I just need someone to talk to. Someone whom I can possibly relate to.

[Bee4Shine]

I am so sorry. Sometimes family can be harsh. They don't understand that the feelings you are having cannot be controlled. It is way outside of the realm of "suck it up". Families also like to "fix" things because honestly I think it makes them feel better. The truth of it is that somethings cannot be fixed. I call them my "unfixables" - I know, profound right? At the same time, when I acknowledge that something is not fixable it gives me the opportunity to seek other means to move through it. For example, yes you are lonely, yes you feel stranded. Those are truths that exist and cannot be "fixed". Move past them, lean into them, acknowledge the feelings and then make a choice. It doesn't even matter what the choice is - go to a movie, go out to dinner. Walk down the hall and find someone to chat with. Chat with the waiter at the restaurant. You are not fixing, you are just living now. One of the things that I like to do is journal. I try to use as many feeling words as possible in my entries so that I can go back and remember what I was feeling at the moment. Then I actually go back and read what I wrote and remember and see how I have moved past this. Maybe even identify some of the key factors that contributed to moving past it. Did the things I was experiencing just become irrelevant? Did they diminish in importance? Was there some particular thing that contributed most?

The other thing my friend, is that we were not created to live alone. We were created to live in community. It is very important to have friends, especially friends who can identify and walk with you, not try to "fix" you. Do you have a hobby? Is there someplace that you enjoy going that brings real joy and contentment? Go there do that. Journal about it. Learn about yourself.

[SimplyMe]

I think this is a first great step, which is why I signed up here. Maybe its the anonymity that makes it feel safer than reaching out to people we will run into again. Just knowing we are not the only ones who are feeling this way is a huge relief in my opinion.
Bee, I like your thoughts about writing a journal. I find it always helps me too, even if it's just to write it out so I can actually GRASP what I'm feeling.
Haley, it's definitely a scary feeling when you are breaking down and you don't know why. I think in your case I would try to find something that you can get involved in, through your school is a good start. And start small. Something like a study group, something that isn't a lot of commitment but will get you to meet and interact with people.