more to add from the past...(past as in posts long time ago)
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away you go ,welldone
glad your picking up ,when i hear these things i lift a little to ,,later KEN
Peach,
I it is terrible all the things that you are going through, and then having the thought that you are alone can be terrifying.
It is true when people say that hormones can play havoc with your system during pregnancy. You are definitely not alone in that department. I think that while I as pregnant my family didn't know which Monty would meet them at the door when they came home. The nice, calm Monty or the one that you would want to make sure that you had a stick in your hand to ward off.
You have been so supportive of everyone in this forum, and your comments have been helpful to many.
Why don't you let us give you back some of the kindness you have shown, and lean on us.
There are many here who hold you in very high esteem, just look at the previous posts on this thread. I am definitely one of your biggest fans.
I it is terrible all the things that you are going through, and then having the thought that you are alone can be terrifying.
It is true when people say that hormones can play havoc with your system during pregnancy. You are definitely not alone in that department. I think that while I as pregnant my family didn't know which Monty would meet them at the door when they came home. The nice, calm Monty or the one that you would want to make sure that you had a stick in your hand to ward off.
You have been so supportive of everyone in this forum, and your comments have been helpful to many.
Why don't you let us give you back some of the kindness you have shown, and lean on us.
There are many here who hold you in very high esteem, just look at the previous posts on this thread. I am definitely one of your biggest fans.
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georgiapeach
- Posts: 1729
- Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:59 pm
- Contact:
monty,
its not pregnancy hormones that are getting to me. i know the difference between them and my normal highs and lows in life. i've always had a short fuse with things and have always been very emotional... i just dont show it to many ppl cuz my family tells me to suck it up and move on. and there is no reason in life to cry. so i do that and then when it all becomes to much i blow up like a bomb shell or like the a-bomb hitting hiroshima... yea im that bad
its not pregnancy hormones that are getting to me. i know the difference between them and my normal highs and lows in life. i've always had a short fuse with things and have always been very emotional... i just dont show it to many ppl cuz my family tells me to suck it up and move on. and there is no reason in life to cry. so i do that and then when it all becomes to much i blow up like a bomb shell or like the a-bomb hitting hiroshima... yea im that bad
Peach,
I also have a short fuse. My family likes to remind me of the time that I put my brother's head through the wall (it was just a thin wall, really) but I seem to be doing better with that, since I am able to now tell people when I am pissed off with them.
It also helps for me, that my kid's dad, doesn't live in the same province as me, so I am away from an unhappy marital situation.
Don't know what it is like for you, but I know that sometimes I am like I pot that is on slow simmer, and then somebody seems to turn the heat up to high right away, and I blow my top.
It seems to be easier for me to let go now, but I still hve problems with keeping things inside too much, something seemingly insignificant will happen, and then I will burst.
Big into metaphors today, so bear with me.
Kind of like how a pressure cooker works, it takes a bit to get up to pressure, then the rocker starts going slowly, then when the pressure really builds up, that rocker just starts a spinning.
Anyway, I have gone on longer than I intended. Hope you know that when you are pissed off, we are here to listen to you vent. You can only keep so much inside. Also know how theraputic it has been for me now that I let myself cry but that isn't an option for some people. I didn't do it for 48 years.
Please take care.
I also have a short fuse. My family likes to remind me of the time that I put my brother's head through the wall (it was just a thin wall, really) but I seem to be doing better with that, since I am able to now tell people when I am pissed off with them.
It also helps for me, that my kid's dad, doesn't live in the same province as me, so I am away from an unhappy marital situation.
Don't know what it is like for you, but I know that sometimes I am like I pot that is on slow simmer, and then somebody seems to turn the heat up to high right away, and I blow my top.
It seems to be easier for me to let go now, but I still hve problems with keeping things inside too much, something seemingly insignificant will happen, and then I will burst.
Big into metaphors today, so bear with me.
Kind of like how a pressure cooker works, it takes a bit to get up to pressure, then the rocker starts going slowly, then when the pressure really builds up, that rocker just starts a spinning.
Anyway, I have gone on longer than I intended. Hope you know that when you are pissed off, we are here to listen to you vent. You can only keep so much inside. Also know how theraputic it has been for me now that I let myself cry but that isn't an option for some people. I didn't do it for 48 years.
Please take care.
Peachy and Monty~
It's good that both of you know that holding in things that make you mad is a very destructive thing to do. (Not just for walls, either).
P. -
Listen to Monty. You are young enough that you can start now teaching yourself how to get out of a bad rage easily, on the spot. You'll have to learn to recognize it when it starts, and right that minute, start doing whatever it is you've decided on to vent. Now, before you delete this post because you're getting a bunch of old-lady advice from me, sit and think of three things you could try the next time you get mad. Believe it or not, counting to ten actually works. I tried it one time when I was just about to get myself fired by shooting off my mouth, which I do on a regular basis, and it worked! That's all it took, was 10 seconds. I can stay mad, and I mean GOOD AND MAD at someone for YEARS! So there is one thing you could try. Think up two more. Do it before you go to sleep tonight.
You know why I'm suddenly showing all this big huge concern for rage - a thing that is just a daily thing for us? Because of your baby. I don't like babies in the sense of things that affect me directly; they smell bad, they are too noisy (it's amazing how something so small can reach such high decibles), they require too much attention at the worst times, and they are phenominally expensive to keep. I think I told you this once. But anyway, this does not mean I don't care about them. In the few times I've had a three-year-old put in my care, I took better care of it than 95% of the parents out there.
So what I'm finally getting at here is that you being all stressed out mad is going to be really hard on that kid. You know what it does to you. Go look in the mirror the next time you're mad and see the red face, the white thin lips, the messed up hair, all that. And then remember what is going on inside: stomach acid building up, blood pressure going up, temperature going up, probably trembling too, and a bunch of totally irrational thoughts to go with it all. Would YOU like to be in a nice soft warm cozy place and then have all that happen? But seriously, all those physiological changes are not good for a pregnancy. I've never been pregnant, but this is just common sense. Unfortunately, it's the exact kind of thing you only think of when you're not experiencing it.
So think of three things to try next time you're mad, write them down, and go to sleep thinking about how great it will be to make yourself un-mad in just a few seconds.
Once you have that baby and it is screaming and testing your capability for keeping your temper, you will be really glad you learned how to vent long before. And make sure it's venting, too. NOT SUPPRESSING! You have to get it out, not just push it aside.
Ok. Enough from the fossil called a5.
Monty~
You went all that time without crying and you don't have ulcers? How'd you manage that? I was such a wreck when I was little that I was hospitalized in fourth grade with ulcers. Fortunately, we lived in a place where I could go outside and scream bloody murder and nobody could hear me. PEACH - COVER YOUR EYES FOR THE NEXT SENTENCE ! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU !! Made me feel better until I learned the subtlies and satisfaction of passive aggression.
Crying is, as you said, therapeutic. It is a vigorous physical process that calms you, lowers blood pressure, stops the trembling, and let's out a HUGE amount of stress. For instant stress reduction, it is tops. Trouble is, you hardly ever are in a place or time when you can just haul off and start bawling. (Thanksgiving Dinner. Twelve of your least favorite family members all within spitting distance of you, and you have to sit there and be polite to them. I just get drunk. But that also is NOT AN OPTION FOR PEACH. )
Whenever my stress, which is considerable, boils over, I cry and Brad holds me until I stop. And then, I feel better. It's amazing how well it works. He says he even does it. (not when I can see him) Even if I'm alone, it works. Sort of like putting ice on a burn right away.
Talk about talking too much! But it's not just blather. I CARE ABOUT YOU TWO!!!
Look, we can have a group-hug -
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Peach, a5, Monty))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
a5
It's good that both of you know that holding in things that make you mad is a very destructive thing to do. (Not just for walls, either).
P. -
Listen to Monty. You are young enough that you can start now teaching yourself how to get out of a bad rage easily, on the spot. You'll have to learn to recognize it when it starts, and right that minute, start doing whatever it is you've decided on to vent. Now, before you delete this post because you're getting a bunch of old-lady advice from me, sit and think of three things you could try the next time you get mad. Believe it or not, counting to ten actually works. I tried it one time when I was just about to get myself fired by shooting off my mouth, which I do on a regular basis, and it worked! That's all it took, was 10 seconds. I can stay mad, and I mean GOOD AND MAD at someone for YEARS! So there is one thing you could try. Think up two more. Do it before you go to sleep tonight.
You know why I'm suddenly showing all this big huge concern for rage - a thing that is just a daily thing for us? Because of your baby. I don't like babies in the sense of things that affect me directly; they smell bad, they are too noisy (it's amazing how something so small can reach such high decibles), they require too much attention at the worst times, and they are phenominally expensive to keep. I think I told you this once. But anyway, this does not mean I don't care about them. In the few times I've had a three-year-old put in my care, I took better care of it than 95% of the parents out there.
So what I'm finally getting at here is that you being all stressed out mad is going to be really hard on that kid. You know what it does to you. Go look in the mirror the next time you're mad and see the red face, the white thin lips, the messed up hair, all that. And then remember what is going on inside: stomach acid building up, blood pressure going up, temperature going up, probably trembling too, and a bunch of totally irrational thoughts to go with it all. Would YOU like to be in a nice soft warm cozy place and then have all that happen? But seriously, all those physiological changes are not good for a pregnancy. I've never been pregnant, but this is just common sense. Unfortunately, it's the exact kind of thing you only think of when you're not experiencing it.
So think of three things to try next time you're mad, write them down, and go to sleep thinking about how great it will be to make yourself un-mad in just a few seconds.
Once you have that baby and it is screaming and testing your capability for keeping your temper, you will be really glad you learned how to vent long before. And make sure it's venting, too. NOT SUPPRESSING! You have to get it out, not just push it aside.
Ok. Enough from the fossil called a5.
Monty~
You went all that time without crying and you don't have ulcers? How'd you manage that? I was such a wreck when I was little that I was hospitalized in fourth grade with ulcers. Fortunately, we lived in a place where I could go outside and scream bloody murder and nobody could hear me. PEACH - COVER YOUR EYES FOR THE NEXT SENTENCE ! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU !! Made me feel better until I learned the subtlies and satisfaction of passive aggression.
Crying is, as you said, therapeutic. It is a vigorous physical process that calms you, lowers blood pressure, stops the trembling, and let's out a HUGE amount of stress. For instant stress reduction, it is tops. Trouble is, you hardly ever are in a place or time when you can just haul off and start bawling. (Thanksgiving Dinner. Twelve of your least favorite family members all within spitting distance of you, and you have to sit there and be polite to them. I just get drunk. But that also is NOT AN OPTION FOR PEACH. )
Whenever my stress, which is considerable, boils over, I cry and Brad holds me until I stop. And then, I feel better. It's amazing how well it works. He says he even does it. (not when I can see him) Even if I'm alone, it works. Sort of like putting ice on a burn right away.
Talk about talking too much! But it's not just blather. I CARE ABOUT YOU TWO!!!
Look, we can have a group-hug -
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Peach, a5, Monty))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
a5
Thanks for the hugs. It is funny that it wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties, and my son was born, that I would allow myself to be completely comfortable in having another person touch me, or touch them myself.
I have gotten over that. I now give, and receive hugs freely from all adults. That was a huge step for me.
Admittedly, after the ECT, the anger was a big emotion for me to deal with. People don't react well to someone in their 50's, feeling like a child when dealing to emotions. It is hard to keep a lot of those "fireworks that go off in my head" to myself.I accessed professional resources that I had, plus am blessed with some good friends that helped me sort some of that stuff out.
I must say that it is difficult to deal with the, less attractive emotions, but the joy that I can feel with being with good friends, hearing stirring music (and I now sing with it now,not caring what others think) or just giving someone a hug, greatly outweighs the difficult anger one.
I haven't hurt anyone physically since I was a younger teenager, I never even spanked my kids. I know that is a route I don't want to travel. What seems to work best now, is to just leave the situation. I just need to go to my room, and spend time quietly there just for a few minutes. Then I seem to be able to come out and deal with things better. The problem arises when I have to cope with my mom. She sometimes acts as a defiant child (which my own children never were) and is just goading me. I walk away and when I come back, she snipes at me again.
I do very well in the patience department these days.
Yes I have kept a lot of emotions in for a lot of years. I have been treated for ulcers in years gone past. Right now I am on several meds to control the acid reflux that I think is a result of a lot of the stress I have kept in. Often my stress would show up in belly problems. Have the hernia,irritable bowel and all that crap difficulties.
I have gotten over that. I now give, and receive hugs freely from all adults. That was a huge step for me.
Admittedly, after the ECT, the anger was a big emotion for me to deal with. People don't react well to someone in their 50's, feeling like a child when dealing to emotions. It is hard to keep a lot of those "fireworks that go off in my head" to myself.I accessed professional resources that I had, plus am blessed with some good friends that helped me sort some of that stuff out.
I must say that it is difficult to deal with the, less attractive emotions, but the joy that I can feel with being with good friends, hearing stirring music (and I now sing with it now,not caring what others think) or just giving someone a hug, greatly outweighs the difficult anger one.
I haven't hurt anyone physically since I was a younger teenager, I never even spanked my kids. I know that is a route I don't want to travel. What seems to work best now, is to just leave the situation. I just need to go to my room, and spend time quietly there just for a few minutes. Then I seem to be able to come out and deal with things better. The problem arises when I have to cope with my mom. She sometimes acts as a defiant child (which my own children never were) and is just goading me. I walk away and when I come back, she snipes at me again.
I do very well in the patience department these days.
Yes I have kept a lot of emotions in for a lot of years. I have been treated for ulcers in years gone past. Right now I am on several meds to control the acid reflux that I think is a result of a lot of the stress I have kept in. Often my stress would show up in belly problems. Have the hernia,irritable bowel and all that crap difficulties.
Re: more to add from the past...(past as in posts long time
georgiapeach wrote: i lost the love of my life back in december, just up and left me while i was on vacation.
Peach,
if it is any consolation, my wife of 9 years did the same to me. she left one night when I was sleeping. woke up next morning to a knock on the door. it was somebody from the court serving me the divorce papers.
How exciting is that. waking up and finding your wife is gone and somebody else knocks on the door and lets you know about the divorce.
didnt sleep for the next 8 nights. this was 2 years ago, when the congressional elections were on.
I tried to watch the debates of the candidates on TV, hoping that would put me to sleep. ...nope,it didnt.
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georgiapeach
- Posts: 1729
- Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:59 pm
- Contact:
((((((((((((((( jer ))))))))))))))))))) <--- hug
wow hun, im so so deeply sorry to hear that she was that cruel to do that to you! its harsh hun, the pain does go away though right? please vent about it if you'd like to. im more than willing to listen! also hun its nice to meet you and welcome here!!!!!
wow hun, im so so deeply sorry to hear that she was that cruel to do that to you! its harsh hun, the pain does go away though right? please vent about it if you'd like to. im more than willing to listen! also hun its nice to meet you and welcome here!!!!!
(((((((((((Peach)))))))))))))))))
thanks Peach, for your warm welcome.
One of these days I hope to write my story here.
btw - I saw your photos in the image gallery. couldnt comment on it ,cuz it wouldnt let me.
In that photo with your cat, you look beautiful and poignant. Like many of the other pictures, yours is an expression I can relate to.
take care
Jer
thanks Peach, for your warm welcome.
One of these days I hope to write my story here.
btw - I saw your photos in the image gallery. couldnt comment on it ,cuz it wouldnt let me.
In that photo with your cat, you look beautiful and poignant. Like many of the other pictures, yours is an expression I can relate to.
take care
Jer
Last edited by jer on Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
So sorry to hear about your what happened to you regarding your wife... and the way it was done? Cold... very cold.
thanks Aim. Hope you are doing ok.
I got laid off last november. havent found a job yet.
curiously I feel better now. I guess I dont have to deal with people. Facing people everyday was hugely stressful for me.
Along with depression,generalized anxiety, ocd , cfs , I also have social anxiety, which makes it really fun.
When my money runs out I will look desperately for a job. and then hopefully find one.
I got laid off last november. havent found a job yet.
curiously I feel better now. I guess I dont have to deal with people. Facing people everyday was hugely stressful for me.
Along with depression,generalized anxiety, ocd , cfs , I also have social anxiety, which makes it really fun.
When my money runs out I will look desperately for a job. and then hopefully find one.
Hi Jer,
Glad that you feel welcome posting on these forums.
I have a lot of trouble dealing with people too. I avoid talking on the phone like the plague, thought I am doing better with people than I did a couple of years ago.
It used to be that I felt like if someone had be along for a fun activity, I was just kind of an afterthought. I wouldn't add anything to the conversations anyway. Just kind of sat in the corner, and trembled.
While I am by no means a social butterfly, I do better in crowds now. Actually I went to an activity at the church I attend last night. It was a special event, only about 20 of us there. Someone actually asked me to do the scripture reading. Probably if I had known about it in advance I would have screwed it up. It had about 10 minutes notice, so I didn't have enough time to get scared.
I was surprised that I was able to read, without too many stumbles and someone actually complimented me afterwards on my reading.
I have had the bipolar diagnosis for many years now. Like you I have several others, thrown into the mix. I am on permanent disability, so I won't have to face being in the work force again (I was under 50 when I got it, that is very early to have enforced retirement). Found trying to be a decent human being, for 8 hours a day, was way beyond my capability.
I just don't do well being with people either. My circle is rather limited but am quite pleased that I regard all of the people in this forum (even newcomers like you, jer) as among my greatest source of support.
Hope you find that here too.
Glad that you feel welcome posting on these forums.
I have a lot of trouble dealing with people too. I avoid talking on the phone like the plague, thought I am doing better with people than I did a couple of years ago.
It used to be that I felt like if someone had be along for a fun activity, I was just kind of an afterthought. I wouldn't add anything to the conversations anyway. Just kind of sat in the corner, and trembled.
While I am by no means a social butterfly, I do better in crowds now. Actually I went to an activity at the church I attend last night. It was a special event, only about 20 of us there. Someone actually asked me to do the scripture reading. Probably if I had known about it in advance I would have screwed it up. It had about 10 minutes notice, so I didn't have enough time to get scared.
I was surprised that I was able to read, without too many stumbles and someone actually complimented me afterwards on my reading.
I have had the bipolar diagnosis for many years now. Like you I have several others, thrown into the mix. I am on permanent disability, so I won't have to face being in the work force again (I was under 50 when I got it, that is very early to have enforced retirement). Found trying to be a decent human being, for 8 hours a day, was way beyond my capability.
I just don't do well being with people either. My circle is rather limited but am quite pleased that I regard all of the people in this forum (even newcomers like you, jer) as among my greatest source of support.
Hope you find that here too.
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