My life up to 35 what next !! dont know lol

[Plumby]

Story of my life :
Let’s start at the beginning my father died of cancer when I was 13 and live for me, my mother and older brother was tough after his death, my mother raised us single and alone and I take my hat off to her woman along raising two son’s lol, well to make a long story little but shorter we made matric both of us she only had money for one of us to go study so my brother went further to study and today works as a computer programmer, my story on the other hand was a different story.
After school I found myself not knowing what I want to do with my live so went and worked as a mechanic that did not last long was not for me, then tried panel beating also not for me went into sales and worked at a gym and liked that, that is when I met my wife I was 19 and she was 17 that was in 1999 we were to gether for 2 years then one day she came into the room and told me I did not have my period and so we did the next best thing got a test and would you know she was pregnant we were happy but nervous at the same time a bit young to have a child lol, so we told here parents and they took it alright my mother was through the roof.
So I was still working at the gym and one of my friends told me about plumbing and how he enjoyed it, so I thought to myself you are going to have a child now you need something better then sales went and his boss gave me a job as junior plumber and there I found what I wanted to do with my live worked there until I finished my apprentice and started working for another company with better pay, I worked there for a couple of years then in 2008 started my own company.
My father brother helped me gave me a bakkie and a cellphone and told me go start your own thing don’t make someone else rich lol so I did I worked hard long ours weekends in 2011 my company turnover was R14 mil a year and I had about 30 people working for me, know this is where it gets interesting.
At the end of 2011 it was not going well with my uncle company he had an electrical company the contractors that he worked for could not pay him and he was going to lose everything, so I thought to myself I am not going to let him fall so I told him I would pay him a monthly salary until he gets work in and I will carry all his employees as well they can do plumbing until there would be work for them after about 7 months the electrical work started to come in and looked like things was turning but then he started going backwards, clients started to phone me and I needed to take care of all the electrical work as well he was not on the sites don’t know where he was all day, one day my uncle wife was gone for a week on business and he was home alone he did not pitch for work and we tried to call him no answer so I decided to go to his house and check on him, I got to his house and noticed the front door was open I jumped over the fence and entered his house calling him no answer got to the bedroom he was on the floor blood in the bathroom so I picked him up took him to hospital where they told me he tried to take his own life with alcohol and pills.
So after that he went to get some help mean time back at work I needed to keep it under the wraps from the clients and employees, after he got help things did look little bit better but then he started the same story clients told me we will give you the work but if your uncle is still part we won’t give the work to you and the electrical side was struggling because his work was not right he claimed for things that was not even done.
Then I started getting a sleep problem I could not sleep and my heart was pounding at night with all the things I was thinking of and worrying went to the doctor and they gave me azor 1mg to sleep at night that helped I could start sleeping again at night, well things went from bad to worse with him and one month I told him for the next 2 months we will not be getting a salary the company needs the money to move forward, his response in that case I am leaving and I looked at him and said what about the electricians he said just fire them I won’t repeat the words here that I told him that day that was the last I saw of him.
So I sat down and thought to myself well I am not an electrician but I am not just going to tell 15 people you don’t have work anymore so I tried to take over and do everything but the damage was already done there was 3 sites that needed to get finished that he took all the money already so I still finished it and tried to get out of the mess but at the end of 2014 I had to close the company that was the hardest thing I had to do in my live letting every one go.
The worst thing I think is not just losing my company but although I am mad at my uncle I lost him as well it feels as if a part of you dies.
After the company closed down my wife and one of my friends had a one night stand I forgave her but after that nothing seemed to be the same for me again I guess I lost faith in people I wanted to leave my wife but my mother told me think about your children and so I am trying to make it work, but it is hard sometimes, I don’t speak to people about my problems I keep it to myself put on a fake smile stand up every day and just get through the day.
Some days I feel like just getting in my car and getting a job somewhere new where there is no old memories but if I am away from my children I don’t know if I will make it I love them with all my live
My wife wants me to start a new company but I don’t know I just don’t have it in me at the moment and don’t know if I will ever have that power in me again.
Well that is my story