me /myself and russ at 50.000 ft

[xn728]

i was driving to london

[aim]

You had me going, Ken!!! I thought you really did fly that plane! Great story... have you ever tried writing? Your imagination is amazing, and your descriptions are so dead-on that I can actually see the things you describe.

Keep trying to make Russ happy... maybe he will make you happy in return.

[xn728]

its a true story

[aim]

Fiction always comes from somewhere! The description of the airplane was too real to be false, but I sort of figured you didn't fly it!!! Still... great story.

[Aurelia5]

That was GREAT!!!!


A.

[xn728]

glad you enjoyed

[Aurelia5]

Hi xn ~

I am so dense - I forgot to give you a bunch of Poor Babies for your illness. My husband says just hearing that makes him feel better - "Oh, poor baby". Because when you say it you mean it or you wouldn't say it.

Anyway, about the contrails. The most beautiful thing happened here a few months ago. We live out in the sticks in the high dessert with no other houses or trees around us, and I went out one day and looked up and there was one contrail - the sky was almost completely clear - and it stretched all the way from one horizon to the other. One solid stream of white with no breaks in it, and up here that would be a view of 180 degrees. It was just amazing. By the time I got the camera it was breaking up. It was one of those gifts you speak of. Not from God, I have no god that I have to pander to. It was just a part of nature. Try to picture that - one big white line from horizon to horizon. It was really beautiful.

[xn728]

sorry not much

[aim]

(((((Ken))))) Stay as strong as you can... remember that your wife and children need you, ok? Your animals need you... you do a lot of good Ken. Keep that in mind if you can...

[xn728]

the same time ,,,,,,,ken

[aim]

Hey Ken! I actually do enjoy your postings... it's not a strange way you deal with depression, but a creative way. Be proud of that, Ken.

I'm also glad you can see the joy in your family - many people can't. You know that, despite the, "visitor," you are blessed with a wonderful family, and your love of animals.

As an animal lover myself, I have to say a great big thank you to you for what you do for our furry little friends. They are so often ignored; it's nice to see someone who genuinely cares for them as you do.

And I do understand about getting confused with the forums! I don't generally start my own threads, but I get my e-mail alert of others that I have posted on, and that keeps me pretty on track.

Great to hear from you again, Ken. And great that you are doing better today. I have no doubt that you are a strong man, Ken. Your postings make us all keenly aware of that...

[xn728]

im strong

[Aurelia5]

You know what Ken? I have a bad place too. Besides chronic heavy depression, I get this bit of psychosis where I am . . . this is sooo hard to explain . . . I become overwhelmed by the feeling of desolation. Of my own state of desolation . . . it's like I'm standing on a street in Los Angeles at around 4:30 in the afternoon, and it's in a bad neighborhood, not Watts or anything, but the houses are very worn down, the cars are old and dirty, there is no yard, it's just sort of a dump that people are living in. And being in LA, the sky is very dirty and the air stinks, and I'm standing on a hill that looks west to a port, where there are big shipyards, and trucking companies, and a lot of industrial mess. It is fall so it is sort of warm, and I am alone, I know no one, I have no car, no belongings, no home, no friends, no family. I am in an industrial, poverty stricken, filthy place, and I don't know what to do. It's getting dark and I am in this horrible place, paralyzed by fear, dread, and desertion. No one put me there - I'm just suddenly there. The best way to explain it is a feeling of stark desolation and loneliness. Extreme, desperate loneliness.

This feeling I get is close enough to borderline schizophrenia that I've come close to getting anti-psychotic drugs. It doesn't last long enough or happen frequently enough to warrent them though. (I took a whole bunch of psychology classes and have the DSM-IV nearly memorized. It is true what they say - that people get into psychiatry to figure out their own problems. That and figuring out what makes other people do the things they do).

So, as they say, know thy enemy. I got on google and typed in Port of Los Angeles, and also Pollution in LA, and got some pictures that came pretty close to the place I go. I studied those pictures, putting myself in those places, and I gradually started feel less desolate. Maybe you can find an actual picture that represents that sort of place for you and face it without flinching. Think so?

On to the next post . . .

[aim]

I have to tell you, the creativity and imagination on here is incredible! Does it really take someone who has suffered or did suffer to create great art? Great writing? Seems so, doesn't it?

[Aurelia5]

Aim, you are so sweet. I think it was mostly a lot of good English teachers. But yes, feeling these intense emotions does spur one toward more explanitory writing. I think Ken is just a good writer. Period.