I'm so lonely I can't bear it

[tyler102695]

I come from a large family and I act like I'm fine because there's always so much going on with my siblings, but I feel like my friends have left me behind without a care. No one ever calls or texts me, and when I try to, I'm either ignored or simply tolerated. And forget making new friends. I feel like I'm always the one reaching out to people, but no one cares enough to do the same for me. They're more than happy to let me do stuff for them, but are never there when I need them. Is something wrong with me? Am I just that insufferable? I feel selfish even saying this stuff, but if I don't it will eat away at me. I just want someone to care about me.

[Joekababazae]

I know exactly how you feel. My "friends" never text me and I always have to be the one to initiate any sort of conversation, it really sucks. I'm going to a new school in the fall and I'm hoping to make better friends there but it still sucks feeling so unwanted. I feel so forgettable and it's killing me.. but hang in there, maybe you just need to find new friends.

[jvincent2002]

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm gonna be 31. My boyfriend of over a decade hasn't planned anything and my family is worried about the NBA Finals and how my birthday might interfere with their watching them. I'm working tomorrow. I honestly feel like no one likes me, much less loves me.. I feel like a waste of space, a thorn in other's sides, a nuisance that no one wants to be around. I don't like myself which makes it all so much more painful. I hate everyone right now and despise them as much as I despise myself for feeling so unwanted and useless. I thought my depression was under control. I'm on meds. But I got here from a suicide website that describes the least painful ways to die. I have multiple personalities that I'm not dealing with because I just want to be normal. I've been taking antidepressants since I was 14. I want marriage, kids, a family, and my boyfriend doesn't. I won't leave. I'm scared. I'm lost. And I'm furious at everything and everyone because if I'm not angry I'm hurting. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired of not being good enough for others or myself. I'm angry and I want to be loved for my anger instead of in spite of it. I want people to want to be around me. But I don't want to cater to them anymore. Love me for who I am or I want to die. None of this makes sense and I don't want to explain it to anyone. I don't want to have to explain or apologize for the f***** up mess that is me. If killers and rapists can have love, why not me? They certainly don't apologize for what they've done so why should I? And I've never killed or raped anyone either. I'm sick of living and this farce of wanting to be liked no matter my faults. I hate my life and everyone in it yet all I want is love and acceptance. f*** me.

[Jackson]

jvincent2002 -
How's it going today? ... I hope you're feeling a little better than you did on June 5. ...... I am very well acquainted with the pain you expressed in your post here and just felt compelled to reach out to you to see how it's going right now.