first time

[john359]

I am going through a period of time in my life that hasn't surfaced in many years. I am in a self destructive downward spiral and I don't know how to overcome it. I am alienating my kids and suffocating my wife. It is affecting my marriage and home life. People at work are commenting how I have become quiet and disengaged. I am behaving in a manner that I know is negatively affecting those around me and I continue to do it. I rarely eat anymore if at all and I have difficulty sleeping. Of course this is giving me anxiety because I see it as it is happening and can't seem to correct it. My moods throughout the day are a rollercoaster of emotion. This seems to have all started when my wife told me I have been emotionally uninvolved and neglectful of her feelings. She needs time and space to decide what she wants in her life. I feel so scared and threatened by this because I know she is right and I see how it affects her. She is my best and only friend and I have hurt her so deeply. Now I am holding onto her for life and it is making things worse. I can't win and with each action I am getting harder on myself and falling into a self hating mindset. I have set up counseling to start next week to help me through this. Looking for a healthy way to cope so I can have the courage and confidence to allow for space. That is the only way I can see us getting through this together.

[nenkohai2]

Right thing getting into counseling, John. Keep with it. It's not a short term thing. It will be work, but it will be worth it. Best of all luck to you.

n.