Having a bad night...just wanna give up?

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ShoppingQueen
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:50 am

Having a bad night...just wanna give up?

Postby ShoppingQueen » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:36 pm

I'm extremely depressed tonight. My full story which might be helpful if you haven't read it is in the other thread but my mom has gone to bed cause she doesn't want to be around me cause of "abusing" and "berating" her again tonight. We went to campus for me to print articles for an online class and to buy tickets for this show going on. They're sold out of tickets of course. They were free but she wouldn't take me sooner. We were going this one day. I printed off everything and noticed in the library how all the guys look younger. This is my senior year so of course they're all younger. I'm not attracted to younger guys. I like guys my same age or a couple years older. So really there's no reason to even go back to school cause all the guys will be younger. I told her about this on the way home and she offered no advice and started saying stuff that makes me more depressed. We came home and I was forced to have a PB&J AGAIN for lunch like what a kindergartener has and what I have for lunch everyday. Then she made pasta for dinner and she told me she's not cooking tomorrow night so that's my dinner and I can have a PB&J for lunch again. I keep rubbing my eyebrows due to extreme stress causing them to come out and now they are sparse and they are sore. She knows but she doesn't care. I just can't take this anymore! I asked her if she feels guilt for the way my life is. Cause if this was my daughter, I would feel extreme guilt and think I've failed as a parent. She said there comes a point when I need to take responsibility for it. I'm 21, living with my mom, I have no friends, no guys around me, no confidence cause I'm unattractive, no driver's license, no life. Please help!!! I don't even want to get out of bed anymore. I sleep from 3am-3pm. I just don't see how any mother can let their daughter be depressed and miserable like this and not do anything to help. But she just sits there with a tired look in her eyes like she's the one being tortured. I'm beyond depressed!!!!!!!! :'( :'(

ShoppingQueen
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:50 am

Postby ShoppingQueen » Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:21 am

I wanted to add you know how people tell you it always gets better? Does that even apply after 8 years? 4 horrible years of high school and 4 of college too? I've never known anyone who has a bad experience in both. Usually when you get to college it gets better.

Also I can't stop reliving horrible memories in my head. How do you turn it off? It's awful!! :(


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