If I could speak to my younger, depressed self...

[sbs9am5]

If I look back over the last decades, I've always felt my life was defined by my personal struggles. At the time, it felt as though I would never be able to overcome them...life would always simply be not worth living. Enjoyment was a foreign concept. I simple could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Things changed when I started to meet new people. People of different backgrounds, nationalities and stories of their own. It only took one person's perspective to change things (gradually yet dramatically) over time for me. Of course, it wasn't the "magic solution" we all wish for when we struggle with depression; but it was this persons intelligence and optimism about life that made me see things more clearly. I realised that the pain of my childhood was behind me; it was time to let go, move on. I was no longer trapped by my alcohol induced mother. I was free to live my life; but why did I still feel tormented by the experiences I endured as a child? I needed to acknowledge what had happened and accept that I was no longer in that situation. I was safe. I was an adult, free to make my own decisions. The process for me has been long and arduous, and of course at times there are relapses. But it helps to remember that life is what you make of it. If you want something to change, you have to change it yourself. Yes, you've heard it all before...but small, progressive steps are the most effective. Sometimes you dont even feel like you're moving forward until you've gone 2 days, one week, one month without realising you haven't questioned the purpose of life; will I always feel like this?; or thought I cant get out of bed; I dont want to face the world today; I'm useless...

So, if I could speak to my younger self...I would tell her to hang on, things are going to change, and theres a lot of excitement and opportunities in store. I must have watched a video dozens of times...but it never fails to get me up and going, even when I simply dont feel like it. Everything from the "six rules of life," to the track and inspiring images used tell me a story of how others have struggled...but have overcome such struggles to succeed.