Closed world

[sala samobójców]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not saying I am depressed; perhaps, but unsure. I have closed the door on myself, not because of emotions. Merely because I have too many secrets building up that now, I am rotting on the inside. I dare to speak, because it finds it's way back to me. I am alone with my problems...Familiarities has offered to help me; to be an ear, but how can they when they have their own mouth? "Personal matters are always the subject of entertainment." I seek help because I am without help.

With that; I welcome you to my thoughts and hopefully one day, I can help others...but not today...

[PixieArmy]

Welcome Sala,

Secrets in my opinion are powerful until they are out in the open. Even if people have mouths I think most things are more powerful inside not out. Sorry you feel so lonely, hope here you can find a community that helps. Here we don't have ears, but we have eyes.

Again welcome.

Pixie

[Frame]

Hi Sala;

Perhaps you've opened the door a bit in coming here. And if you like, you don't have to be alone.

I agree with Pixie about the power of secrets. If you tell someone, it's not a secret any more. This might be a safe place to talk. Secrets may loose some of their power over you and you may find some helpful answers.

Frame

[4EverMe]

Welcome aboard, Sala,
You've arrived at a safe place, if you're hoping to unburden your mind and/or heart.
People are not here to judge, but rather to listen and support one-another.
Myself, I've found that discussing things here, that I ordinarily don't wish to talk about, brings some relief and the feeling of a weight being lifted off my chest.

It's my wish that you find the same comfort, and that as time progresses, you feel free enough to release whatever it is you've been silent about. Take care.

[sala samobójców]

Thank you for the interest

I have put my self in a problem. People interrogate me asking why I don't just opt out. When courage finds me I will take the necessary steps. That is, when courage finds me. I live in a toxic environment that Is alienated to me. Those memories will stick with me, amnesia take me now. I seen the doctor today and prescribe be anti-depressants. I have been hiding with this pain for along time thinking that it will pass. My foot half way out the door, courage for my other foot to follow. I wish I can take this pain (more the memories) away from me. I am a unhealthy person I need somebody to be my vitamins. And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard, but I'm not sure. When the lights are out it's less dangerous. Into my corner I go, you will find me. Sorry, whatever...Nevermind

[Frame]

Your words are like poetry Sala.

I live in a toxic environment too. I know what you mean about finding courage (or when it finds you). I mentioned to a few people this week that, courage or not, I need to build a routine of doing some things each day so that when inspiration (or courage or clarity) find me, I'll be warmed up and ready to act. As a person with depression, keeping routines is important to me.

Please don't be sorry on my account. I'm glad your posting here.
Frame

[sala samobójców]

Thank you Fame,

I find routines dull, it's an endless cycle of today, tomorrow and yesterday. I wish I can get out but I need the energy and I don't really have anywhere to go. I have witnessed traumatic events that seek into my dreams and turn them into nightmares and wake me up and linger in the back of my mind till the days end. I went to go and see the doctor today and I was diagnosed with chronic depression...lovely. I am required to see a therapist...Do you think that it will help immensely or perhaps certain events that a person suppressed will come out?

Just my thoughts therapist or no?

[Frame]

One of my thoughts on therapists is that there is a right one for each patient. The first therapist you meet might not be the right one. It's important to give therapy your best, but don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out right away.

I think it's important to think about why you have come to this forum and discuss constructive goals with your therapist that you can work toward. If you aren't comfortable with your therapist, and have the option, you may want to try another one.