sex, meds, and mental illness

[heavyheart38]

I take citilopram, lithium, and an anti anxiety i havent remembered. Up until recently we would be intimate and no climax was in site for me, she was done and dusted and i would bang on, excuse the pun, until i was completely exhausted. Any similar experiences, or is my mind playing tricks again?

[Frame]

These meds. will all affect libido.
I think about it this way. The anti-depressants make things seem less important; both bad things and good things. That's the way it worked for me.

However, developing more structure and discipline in my life has helped bring some joy back to the things I used to love. That probably doesn't sound like much fun with Love making, but creating routines and mentally preparing can help.

[heavyheart38]

Our intimacy is pretty much the same every time, being both big people we are limited

[Frame]

I would have thought that the way you feel must have changed with meds. I was thinking about a routine that would give you more emotional space to focus on the two of you. I think the meds are playing tricks on your body and you may be able to play tricks with your mind to regain some of what you have lost. But I think believe it still is a challenge.

[heavyheart38]

Another question I'd like to ask has anyone's sexual menu (for lack of a better word )changed? I have basically lost any interest in penetrative sex. My partner isn't keen on this much, instead (not directly saying it )but insinuating that I don't love her and I'm cheating, which couldn't be any further from the truth. Anyone car to share, or am I just unusual

[Frame]

I think that relationship issues surrounding depression are complicated and interlocking. I only have my experiences and what I've learned through observation. What I have learned is that depression and it's treatments both erode motivation.

I also have observed that all the cures for rebuilding relationships entail talking and listening. If you want your relationship to grow in any way (including physical intimacy), more listening and more talking must proceed.

The only successful way I have dealt with my own eroding motivation has been to establish routine and discipline.

[turtle8378]

I'll address your issue directly. I have the same problem you do. When I get it up, I can go and go and go and not climax. It's frustrating to say the least.

[heavyheart38]

I have attempted sex twice since the first post and had no climax. This is so frustrating! Added with the "f***s sake not again" my confidence and admiration for my other half is completely destroyed. She refuses to "help" in any way shape or form. I am at the point of not trying because im over the comments that are inevitable. She gets over and done with then im kinda like left to fend for myself. I have tried, "If you dont like it,leave!" was the answer.
Do i up and leave, i do love this woman and she bore me two great kids, we have everything together, or do i stay and and bear it? Im terrified of the prospect of single life, but what do i do?

[4EverMe]

What about lots of awesome talk and physical foreplay?! (to the point where there's just no standing it anymore) ??

[heavyheart38]

I can please her no problem, her approach to my equipment is one of its up, youre ready...... Ive tried to talk about it with her but she uninterested.

[stillwaters]

heavyheart38
I believe what you are experiencing is a known side effect from the citalopram. I have been taking it for about a year and a half now and have same problem. I had other problems with other antidepressants so got switched to this stuff. Works for my head but kinda shuts the climax machine off. For me it was worth the tradeoff as my depression was so bad but perhaps you could have your doc try you on another anti depression med that would not affect you in this manner.
Good luck.

[Woglinde]

Myself I'm a bit afraid to get on medication for that reason. My sex life is already so dreary. It doesn't matter how much he tries to warm me up, I just am not feeling it at all.

My partner gets very emotionally hurt when I'm unable to connect to him sexually. I wish I could, but it's just not happening.

[heavyheart38]

As i said in an earlier post my GP is weaning me off the citilopram. I suggested the bupropion and he wasnt convinced of any gains, so I have no idea on what he will put me on, wont be,fluox though, been there done that, dont work for me. Also new diagnosis of,bipolar disorder with dysthymic traits..... Make up yer mind doc. But bipolar does make sense