Mixed feelings and thoughts

[CrazyLady17]

We can't control feelings? That's not possible... I got tought that at school..

What's this?
Bully Abbz month or something?
Oh wow
Just hurt my feelings why don't you?
Do you seriously hate me?

I am trying my hardest here?!
Can't you see that? Because I can....
I've changed from when I first came here.

I'm sorry for feeling the way I do.
Okay?

[Frame]

Stuff happens; and we feel about it. Maybe we feel strongly, maybe not. Maybe it feels good, maybe bad, or such.

We can't control that (not most people, not without years of guided training), that's how emotions work. But emotions only last a short while; some science says seconds, some science says minutes; but not very long. The reason an emotion (a feeling) lasts as long as it does, sometimes years (sometimes a lifetime), is because we keep poking it with our mind.

When something keeps us up at night; when we feel good (or bad) about something for a long time, it's not because the emotion won't go away. It's because we keep reliving the experience. We are thinking about something and the feeling comes along for the ride.

Now, it's true that it may be hard to stop thinking about something. And it may be even more difficult to stop feeling a certain way about something. But it's not impossible. It's very doable. It's really the only way to feel better. To feel good we must control our thoughts.

With a chemical, with a shrink, with blinders, or a media binge; or with hard work and determination, meditation and prayer, study and writing...

We can control our thoughts, and so we can control our feelings.







Ooo... I like that. Think I'll start a new thread.















And....
pie.

[CrazyLady17]

Yes stuff happens, but people deal with it in different ways. Like my way of dealing with it all is through self harm and suicide... That's why I'm so depressed, but that's how I have learnt to cope with it all to be fair.
Also I deal with things by expressing exactly, truthfully on how I feel and express all my emotions...
Just how I cope and deal with it..
Is that okay with you?

We all have different ways on how we deal with different things....
As we are all different in our own ways.

I do see your point though;
Will try harder, but I am already trying my very best.
But feels like my best isn't up to your standards which pretty hurts me inside I must admit.

Ooo I like that sound of that too.



Yes yummy pie.

[Frame]

my way of dealing with it all is through self harm... That's why I'm so depressed, but that's how I have learnt to cope with it all to be fair.
Also I deal with things by expressing exactly, truthfully on how I feel and express all my emotions...
Just how I cope and deal with it..

Is that okay with you?

Um..not really no. But the more important question is:
Is that alright with you?

Because, you can unlearn bad habits. You can change your thoughts. You improve the way you cope with it all to be fair.
But if you don't want to, if you want to go on doing just what you have learned; then I guess it is alright with you, and your really not looking for help, even as you ask for it.

[CrazyLady17]

Erm okay.
No it's not alright with me actually?
That's why I have a support worker and that's why I'm in hospital on a section and that's why I am considering going back to counselling once I'm out of hospital.
See? Am doing something about it? Thanks!

Okay then...
I have learnt that, but being on a section is going to help me look at ways to cope and deal with things in a more healthier way.
Is that better? And is that alright?

Never said I didn't want help?
I DO want help, an I AM getting the help thanks! Just struggling a lot lately and it'll take me time to get better.

You seriously have something againist me.
Oh wow.

[Frame]

Well, that's an improvement.
Four paragraphs and only one, the last, negative.
Step at a time.

[CrazyLady17]

Thank you... I think :/

Yes one step at a time... For me it'll be baby steps okay?
I can only take on one issue at a time, and I'll work through each one, but in my own time of course.

Hmm..
Well it's true? You are against me though aren't you?
You like to hurt my feelings even more.

[Frame]

You are against me though aren't you?

Against you how, lady? Please explain.

You like to hurt my feelings even more.

Even more than...what?
And tell me, if you would, which things I have said that hurt you.

[CrazyLady17]

Because everything I say or do you either question or have a harsh corny to say on it, and it's hurtful to read some of your replies to my threads to be honest as I find some of them pretty harsh.
But I am going to forget that and move forward, as it isn't helping me. So that is now in the past; okay?

Just going to go feel sorry for myself and go speak with the duty nurse about the way I am feeling right now.

[Frame]

I didn't ask why, Hon, I asked how and what.

[CrazyLady17]

See there we go again.... With the comments

How;
By the harsh comments and saying I am not helping myself etc... When really I am an I am trying my best(the best I can).

What;
On everything I do or say on this formus.

End of story, as this thread has gone off topic.... So fat now on this is for my mixed feelings and thoughts only.

So right now...
I feel numb, I feel nothing.

[Frame]

What did the duty nurse tell you?

[CrazyLady17]

Haven't spoken to the nurse yet. Going to go speak with the duty nurse now, will tell you what she says when I've spoken to her.
But am going to be totally honest with her; and tell her exactly how I am feeling and tell her about the escape plan too..
And tell her I want to be kept 100% safe.

[Ieris]

Frame... I must say.. you are SO patient..

[CrazyLady17]

What is that suppose to mean?
Are you ganging up on me now? Or something?
What have I done to deserve all this?

Spoken with the duty nurse and told her exactly how I feel and she said if I feel unsafe or feel the urge to self harm or escape then press the button and someone will come. Also she is going to speak with the psych team to come asses me again.