Why am I still around?

[CrazyLady17]

Why am I still around?
Why am I still alive?
Why am I still suffering?
Why am I waiting?
What am I waiting for?
Shouldn't I just go already?

I don't know how I feel anymore?
Is that normal?
I feel empty.

[CrazyLady17]

Nobody wants me.
Nobody loves me.
Nobody cares.
Why am I still here?

[CrazyLady17]

Suppose no-one cares.

[mattyj]

I care, just in my current state of mind, i dont know what i can say to help ? Other than I do care and the offer to PM me if you ever need to chat is always open

[CrazyLady17]

My life is a total waste.
My life is a total mistake.
I have nobody. I've lost everyone.

Well done me!

Aw thank you, means a lot
Yes I know..
My current state of mind isn't good either...
Feeling pretty horrible and things, giving up with life totally.

Thank you again!
But don't want to pile all my rubbish on you.

[mattyj]

I dont mind

It may keep my mind busy

When my mind is busy it stops me thinking about my life which is a good thing

So the offer stands

[CrazyLady17]

Okay thank you.

Bless.
Yes I do know what you mean... My mind is mostly busy when I'm helping others, but it depends.. Sometimes I go off in my own world and that's when I start to to feel so isolated from everyone etc..

My life is pretty rubbish.
Seriously don't understand why I am still around and not gone?

[mattyj]

There is obviously a reason for you to be here - you may not see it yet, but it will appear at some point - maybe your reason for being here was to cheer me up christmas eve when i felt like just going away somewhere and ending it all....There you go, theres one reason already

[CrazyLady17]

Maybe so yes...
Huh? I actually helped you? Did I? Oh wow... I didn't realise and know that ops!

Me being here is a total mistake that's what- my reason being here was to suffer and get hurt, well I've had enough now.
Things have got to change and they WILL change.

[CrazyLady17]

I am much better off just disappearing forever.

Is my life not important or something?
I'm so scared and so lonely.

[mattyj]

No you are not

[CrazyLady17]

No I am not what?
A little confused? Can you explain to me what you mean; sorry.

Am going to just disappear.

[mattyj]

No I am not what?
A little confused? Can you explain to me what you mean; sorry.

Am going to just disappear.

Sorry that no you are not was directed at your first sentence that you are better off just dissapearing

No you are not better off doing that

[CrazyLady17]

Oh it's okay, and thank you for making that more clearer to me.

Why am I not better off disappearing?
It'll be for the total best though?
Disappearing forever would be just what I need right now.

[mattyj]

like i said, it wasnt much, but just your few words cheered me up and grounded me a little on christmas eve, when i was as close to ending it all as i've ever been in my life.

If you had disappeared before then, where would i be?

Youve had a positive influence in my life and its just words on a screen, you have a lot of good to give