feeling isolated

[metal bear]

Hi folks, been feeling isolated for a while and just feel it is geeting worse. I have always had problems talking to people that I dont or hardly know but now I even struggle to put stuff online. The only way that I have been able to put this on here is because I have had a few beers. I have put one or two things on here before but just really struggle to communicate so really cant engage in communication. I have tried the online chat on here but just cant do it. It may be because even though I know I am wrong I feel people will judge me or just laugh at me as I have made a mistake somewhere. I cant even talk to the doctore about it as I get all nervous and try and make up something to change the subject. In the last couple of weeks I have been even more worried as I keep getting these aggresive thoughts and this is the first time in my life I have been getting them and it really is scaring me as I am really not an aggresive guy.

[fallen]

no one is going to laugh at you, you are important and i care as others do on here.
i think it would be good to write your story or problems down here, as you are anonymous no one knows you and if you can do it here, even with a few beers in hand ,it might just release some thing for you , which might make you feel better !
take care
p.s when i first put my story on here it took a lot of courage, i had never told anyone apart from my wife , and little bits to my shrink.
it felt weird but cathartic , so be brave.

[metal bear]

Thanks for the reply Fallen. Going to try and do that soon to put my story up, even though I know that know one knows who I am and in a forum like this where no one will laugh at me I still feel like that and I just don't know why. Going to the doctors today as I feel my depression is getting worse so I am going to try and put more on here tonight.

[fallen]

i hope the doctor went well, and writing down your story could just release something for you , it could make it easier for you to talk about things.
take care.

[TheConsciousWind]

More and more people are coming to suffer from this: social anxiety that's so bad you cannot even type to people. I'll tell you what you're doctor won't and never will; it's because the authority of The Word is increasing, by way of a lot of black propaganda. You watch politicians be ostracized on the news for using a single slur, or doing one thing that is unexpected of them. When you talk or type to someone, unconsciously you know that person is judging you by your words, or as I'd put it, reducing you to words, which I feel is a crime. Remember this: You are more than your words. In fact, you are more than all the words of all the languages ever.

[CrazyLady17]

(((((Hugs)))))

[metal bear]

Thanks for the replys folks, docs went ok got changed to different tablets so hope this helps to get me back to my old self again but that will prob never happen.

TheConsciousWind that is interesting what you wrote and really does make a lot of sence

[CrazyLady17]

Good on you!
(((Hugs)))

[TheConsciousWind]

Do you remember being a child, metal bear, and feeling more freedom when you spoke to people? As an adult that all changes though. Because words are taken more seriously. A single word can mean the difference between a hug and a punch in a face, or even more severe consequences. "In the beginning came the word" was even written in the Christian Bible. I'll tell you right now, that's wrong. In the beginning came reality, would be more accurate. Then came man who made word. He made words, and used them to manipulate his brothers, and this was called "magic". Words have only the power that is given to them, however. It is the offended man's fault for being offended, because he has made another man's tools sacred to him. Moreover, he's reduced himself to words (doctrines, beliefs, names, titles, professions, ethnicity). All men are guilty of this, but they are not to blame. But how should a man not feel anxious when he is being scrutinized constantly by the mere choice of his words? Especially when the mind recognizes ALL word-based opinions as flawed.

[Frame]

Words are very powerful; even more so when strung together into thoughts and concepts.

But actions are, at least equally as important. If we even hope to banish depression we must rise each day at a decent hour and make our bodies active (hopefully for the good of the community). We can't hope to rest our mind unless we exercise our bodies. So this is a plea that we all, for a little while each day, step away from the keyboard.

[metal bear]

Very true Frame I have been going to the gym and started voluntary work to go along with college recently and staying active is extremly important, if I sit with my mind unocupied I just keep getting aweful thoughts and loss all motivation, got to force myself to be motivated.

TheConsciousWind I am liking rerading what you are putting here, find it interesting, not only is the choice of word the difference but the way it is spoken and with me being Scottish It is normal for things to be taken the wrong way. Everything has to be labelled and that has the stigma attatched so that is how everything is judged by the massess, it really is pretty sad the way everything works.

Thanks for the hugs CrazyLady17

[CrazyLady17]

Very welcome anytime

[metal bear]

Well apart from me going hyper for an hour at nights these tablets are pretty much worse than the previous ones. I am getting more agitated by everything and even feeling aggresive which is really not like me as I always have had a fear of lossing my cool as I don't think it would be a pretty sight. I was really down for a few days then my wife said out of the blue that she thought I was looking at ways to end the relationship which with her being my only real support in my "offline" world put me down even further, It has made me even more withdrawn from everything and said to the doctor today about it all and he just said continue with the pills and "just" talk to people, wish I could but it dosn't seem that simple, argh when I look at my life it is the best it has ever been with security and stuff but I just can't seem to get out of this frame of mind.

[CrazyLady17]

Aww sorry to hear to that.
Mention that to you're GP.

(((Hugs)))