Another cease-fire tango

[SilentWaters]

I feel like it may be ok, might be safe to be excited about my future. A little bit. Haven't felt like this in such a long time. But how long will it last. I feel the depression floating around me all the time but for now it doesn't try to smother me. It's happened before, this cease-fire tango. I can't make the mistake of thinking I won, can't let my guard down for a second. Last time it was a mistake that almost destroyed me. Not again. But still I feel hopeful. In about 40 days I will be in college... which is scary but I believe it's something I have to do. If I keep putting myself out there, if I keep learning new skills, if I keep crawling forward... I believe something good is waiting for me. Of course it may be yet another trick, another thing to haunt me in years to come. The thought of being surrounded by people, of being a damaged 24-year old studying, learning new things, trying to make friends... is a terrifying image... and yet such a warm fantasy.

[Ieris]

Hi SilentWaters,

I am glad you are getting some positive feelings. Starting college can be daunting but do be open minded about it and try not to think about it too much. You cant control how others act or think but you can control how you handle things. Going to college is a good thing, you go to make new friends, learn more about yourself, see what you like and don't like. If you want college to be a good experience, you can make that happen but if you want it to be a bad experience, that can happen as well. So the power is in your hands.

Nothing wrong with learning new things, it can be quite exciting, you may surprise yourself with what you can be good at. You may meet some friends that you will really get along with. I hope you have a good experience, you will be fine

[saragupta]

Hey silentwaters,
i am glad for ur uplifting feelings.

If i have understood ur post well, i think u just want to grip tightly this positive feelings u r experiencing now...u r also, if i am not wrong, want to be very cautious so as not to lose it. U r enjoying being feeling this way but u r trying to save it from the enemy ie depression.
If we think practically i wud suggest that u should take advantage of this period. Just sit and think what has made u to feel this way...How can u extend its expiry date (just a metaphor...i meant how can u make it to last for as long as possible. )
I also come across such kind of happy-happy phases, and during these phases i try to talk to myself about how i will deal with my depression when it will strike me next time. I make myself ready with all the strength at heart.
U know i use my temporary strength and happiness to make myself ready for the next time fall.
I will always pray that ur feeling of happiness and positivity never gets faded and it becomes endless.

All the best for ur college as well.
I have just completed my college life one and a half year back. So i want to tell u about what are the immediate demands of college life.
But for now i want u to just enjoy ur thanksgiving with warm and joyous heart.
Take care!