Kahn

[Frame]

I've been kind of fidgety lately. I got five DVDs from the library yesterday; determined to try to stay inside for a day. I haven't stayed home all day for at least six months. I wake up in the morning wanting clamp the pillows over my head but by the end of my first espresso I want to run out of the house screaming. But when I get outside I want to run back in screaming; of course by then it's too late....

...where was I; Oh yea five films, I was going to try to stay in bed all day. The more I looked at the DVD covers the more I thought I must be mad; a Christopher Nolan thriller about a struggling writer, Nine animated short films, 'My Architect' about a son's journey to find his cheating father, a travel guide to Medieval Transylvania (seriously), a Ben Stiller film 'Submarine',... I didn't even bother with the last two. ( Let me know if you saw them.) Monday's aren't great but Sundays aren't my finest days either.

I did, however, manage to stay in bed the whole day and, toward the end of day popped 'My Architect" in. I discovered a few fascinating things. Beyond the fact that in the mid twentieth century much of the world believed Louis Kahn to be "America's foremost living architect.", he also had three families which lived within minutes of each other yet he never spoke of two of them. When he died, many of his closest friends had no idea of the other two mistresses, even though they had both worked for and with him as architects. Most people never knew he had a son (Thus the premise of the movie).

Why should I find this important? OK, that's the best and worst of him. I also find aspects of his life very hopeful. He struggled all his life, was mostly supported early on by his working wife (isn't it nice when you have support?), but he didn't receive his first commission until after he was fifty years old. He was acknowledged as a great architect but ignored by his home city because of personality and bigotry. He never had anything built in the city where he had his office. He died in Penn Station NYC having just returned from Bangladesh where he was overseeing the construction of their new capital building, his finest acheivement. He died bankrupt (half a million dollars in debt) with no valid ID on him (I suppose because of his secret lives). He is honored in the film by some of the most prominent architects of our day.

I guess, to me, this means. people do what they have to do. I think it's possible that, not only do we have to do what we do but that, it's OK. And I think it means that it's never too late; we may still end up doing something great.

[Alaska1958]

I went straight to the star trek series and movies when I read your heading.

You still have hope, don't you Frame? I haven't had hope for a "happy" me for years and years now. For a long time I settled for the satisfaction of feeling useful, wanted and likedat work and, I hhoped, being wanted, loved and needed by my family. You struggled to stay in bed for the day, I haven't been out of bed for more than a few hours at a time, for over a week.

Over the years I've watched a lot of movies and I continue to take little pieces of philosophy from them. Watching some old twilight zone episodes lately. Most are 1959 vintage sf/fantasy stories, but I watched one that left me in tears. A man walks into his office, talks to secretary about a vacation he's about to go on with his wife and daughter. Then the set lights go off and we realize that he's shooting a movie. But he's confused, he thinks he is the man in the movie. We find out that he's a washed up actor, whose ex wife is taking him for every cent he's got, he's an alcoholic and no one else will ever give him a job again if he screws this up. In the end, he rushes back to the set he started out on. His movie wife and daughter come to get him and he disappears into the story. I loved it.

Good luck my friend.

[Frame]

I guess I do have hope, kinda, sort of.

Hope like a savings bond your grandparents locked in a safe deposit box and you've misplaced the key. You really don't know what it's worth and you'll probably never see it, but yea, you love your grandparents and your sure it's there.

Or hope like being shot out of a canon: it's not the trip you would have preferred, it's way too noisy, you have no control over where you going, and you hope the landing doesn't hurt too much. But hey, for the few seconds your flying through the air at least you feel alive.

So, I stayed in bed hoping that I would want to get up in the morning. But no, I slept for ten hours and still no up (that was a good one. Any body see the movie 'UP'? You really should.). Quite time; I used to crave quite to get my thoughts together. Now all I want to do is stop thinking.

[karolanne]

Stop thinking, that's what a lot of people would like to...

I guess you still have hope because you continue to do things for your good. I think someone hopless doesn't make anymore effort...

Staying in bed for a day is awesome. That makes me feel so good!

I'm an horror movies fan... lol

The Twilight zone I like the most is the one with the man who just wanted to read. He was at work and he hides in a room to read. He was at home and he just read and read. His wife was pissed off. One day, he was in the vault of the bank were he worked and he was reading. A kind of end of the world happened and he survived because he was in the vault. Then, he realised that now, he has all the time he wanted to read since all the books were there and no one to stop him. And poof, he broke his glasses and just couldn't read anymore...